Different in ND?

kaycieg

Hi ladies! I know there aren't many of us ND brides but I'm midway through planning and I can't help but notice that things seem to be, well, different here. Anybody watch the show "Four Weddings" or "Say Yes to the Dress"? First of all, I CANNOT beleive how much money people spend on their weddings! While I would like to have an unlimited buget, mine will probably be around 8-10K. There are several things that I see on some shows/blogs that seem pretty normal, but it seems like around here it isn't really as common. For example: save the dates, open bars, and assigned seating. Any thoughts/advice?

smwagner70

I did send out Save the Dates which I've always gotten from my friends weddings here in Fargo. As for assigned seating and an open bar we are doing a buffet and my budget is around 6-7k which is still too much in my mind. It's just how many corners can you cut before it looks ghetto?

A girl I worked with did have a point when it comes to the assigned seating. You should have at least a couple tables reserved for close family. You don't want your parents, siblings, stuck somewhere in the back.

funsizedsam

We're planning on having a very small wedding, an invite cap of 150, so we don't really need save the dates or open bars. Since after the wedding, we're planning on doing an informal reception.

nessa16

I am doing save-the-dates.  Most of the weddings we have been invited to have had those...in fact I don't really remember seeing the actual invitations later on lol.  I do think the money spent on some of those shows is ridiculous.  Our budget is probably less than 5k if we can make it.  I am also doing assigned seating, mainly because of the reason stated above about family tables.  That and I think is a little more orderly and with my fiance's family being from CO, I don't want someone getting stuck at a table where they know absolutely no one or may not get along with.

BlairLinds81

Yea things are a lot different in ND and the Midwest in general. I am going to school at UND right now but moving back home to NY in May and getting married in August. I went to a wedding in Des Moines, IA last December and was surpised they had a buffet, unassigned seating and no open bar. I had never even heard of anything like that before, it just doesnt happen where I am from. People tend to go all out for weddings back east and on the west coast and spend a lot of money that is just normal for them. If you can do a wedding for 20K in NY or CA that is considered cheap but keep in mind the cost of living is much higher there and people also make more salary wise then they do here so they can afford it. The cost of living is much, much cheaper in ND since it isnt as populated as other places. I think that has a lot to do with it not costing nearly as much as it does in other places.

ahbc

I am the last out of all of my closest friends to be getting married, I'd say 6 out of 8 had save the dates, open bar(for at least the first hour or two) AND assigned seating and these weren't high budget weddings. I always thought those details were the 'norm'. I definately notice the budgets elsewhere seem to be a bit excessive compared to Fargo. We work hard for our money here... I think we are more realistic in the midwest

Another positive to assigned seating... your random guests who may not know many people (like a co-worker, family friend, old friend from elementary school, etc) do not end up wandering around looking for a seat at tables of people they don't know and may be shy about getting to know.. you can pair them up with someone to ease that tension.

coley351

I am from Minneapolis and now live in a tiny town with my husband in western ND, and yes, everything if VERY different here! 

We had our wedding in the cities, and I did a TON of stuff myself and was very frugal with everything (except the food) and ended up spending around 19K.

The difference is obviously the cost of living, social norms, number of guests invited, etc. I don't think there is one better than the other, but yes... very different!

pinkm08

I love this board! I was getting worried about trying to cut my budget down to $10,000! This makes me feel a lot better about the whole thing. Now I'm just trying to deal with my dad who is having a panic because he grew up in NY and all of his fam are on the east coast, and I;m sure they are telling him how much a wedding costs there. He doesn't understand how much North Dakota ROCKS!

erikawolf

I've been to weddings from Colorado to Georgia and the latest being in Chicago. Most of my friends have gotten married within the last 3 years and most of my cousins in the last 10 years. We've had Save the Dates for all my friends' weddings. We did know about the wedding date before them, but they were nice to put on the fridge to remind us. I like assigned seats for parents, grandparents, other siblings, and the officiant because they shouldn't be worried about finding a seat. I also really like place cards so people can grab their card by the door and mark their territory without leaving a purse or jacket. Open bar is cool, but you can modify that to fit your budget. Say, open bar until dinner, or free wine and keg beer until dinner, or $1,000 of open bar and when that runs out it turns into a cash bar. 

I have a budget of $10,000 and I am really trying to stick to that. I am from western NoDak and I am having my reception in Mandan. I love North Dakota weddings and my friends (mostly from Minnesota) are looking forward to it along with the red eye

lilshag34

I like this page! I am also getting married in fargo, nd and my budget is between 8-10k so far the most expensive part is the location. We both have somewhat expensive taste. I think save the dates aren't really needed but I really like sit down meal vs buffet but thats just me. this is kind of random but I would really suggest going to a wedding show becuase they have everything that you need there!

kirstenritchielee

It is different, even on TK, I read an article about not addressing your own invitations. And brides should shop around and hire a calligrapher!!! Oh my! We've gone to a lot of weddigns lately and most of them made there own invitations, and printed off lables, thats what I'm doing, but they still look great!

Punky06

Agreed!  I love watching Say yes to the Dress and I'm always shocked when brides have a budget of $10,000 for their dress alone.  Holy crap!  That's the budget for my entire wedding.  I think the smartest thing we did (for ourselves anyway), was choose to have our wedding on a Friday.  We're saving at least $3000 on the reception alone because they charge a much higher food and beverage minimum on Saturdays.

mnmchicklet

My fiancé and I just got engaged yesterday, but let's be honest I've been planning for 2 years haha. I think save the dates are only necessary if your having a bigger wedding I. Which some of the guest aren't extremely close to the couple or live out of town and need a heads up to make arraignments. As for an open bar I don't think it's necessary. I feel like they usually rip you off anyway, short pours cheap liquor etc...at least that's been my experience as a guest. A good idea if you want to treat your guests to some "freebies" include free wine during the social hour while guest wait for the wedding party, alot of places In Fargo let you buy a case of wine for dirt cheap to serve. Or a keg of beer beer behind the bar for free beer for guests, I've also seen couples give a couple of drink tickets to guests as they walk in for a few free drinks. And a seating chart is only necessary if ur having a sit down dinner, otherwise just reserve for family and close friends who you want up front

erikawolf

Save the Dates - yup, just so people get the heads up. My family is mostly from ND but the fiance is from all around the US.

Open bar - no, free keg beer, wine, red eye, and apple pie. After that, people can buy as much or as little as they want.

Reserved seating - only for parents, siblings, grandparents. We will be doing place cards so people can pick up their card and reserve their spot so they don't have to worry about "saving seats." We are also doing buffet. People get to pick what they like. 

Budget - I will cry if it goes over $10k. Trying to keep it as low as possible. I don't like alot of the little favors and trinket things. It's going to be simple, but nice.

amanda.johnson4

After watching those TV show's it really opens the eyes to how materialistic the wedding industry can be. Maybe it’s my sensible mind, but 10k for a budget on a wedding gown, no thank you. I notice that compared to the knot, some things that have always been appropriate in my family and weddings we've gone to, are not exactly tactful anymore such as personal attendants and asking cousin's or aunts to help with cake cutting, punch pouring, guest book, etc. I try not post on the other boards because it’s like getting eaten alive. Also it’s very much expected of the bridal party to be helpful with the planning and not just show up on the wedding day.

Wedding date is 10-8-11. We did save the dates because my side of the family will be traveling in mostly. Budget was around 6k, but guest list got out of control so we are looking at 10K now.

One thing I have noticed compared to my two sister’s weddings that had their weddings closer to the Twin Cities is they had more variety to shop around and price with. I feel GF, ND has sort of a monopoly going with their wedding industry, like venues, dress/tux shops, rental companies, etc. My sisters had DJs for around 500.00 that did a great job and the DJ we are going with is 800.00. It mostly has to do with the smaller population I think. My favorite is going to all the outdoor weddings up here with the country feel, good food, good drinks and relaxed atmosphere. A true Midwestern for life, I am very happy to be having the wedding up here :-)

Athomas18

My fiance and I live in Chicago but are getting married in Fargo (where I'm from). Weddings here in Chicago are very different, but they really aren't my style - most are over the top gawdy. We are blessed to have a budget of 20k, but that doesn't mean I want a formal wedding. We have opted to provide an open bar and assigned seating. The reason we are doing this is 1) everyone on my fiance's side will be flying in and spending a lot of money on flights, hotels, etc. and 2) we want everyone to interact with each other. Other than that, our wedding will be very informal - we are having a Mexican food buffet, simple but elegant decor, and an emphasis on the dancing. We are also having a small candy bar for favors and making donations to the Lupus Foundation and MS Society in lieu of expensive favors. 

As far as having smaller budgets, the great thing about ND is that everything is relatively cheap. If we were to have the same budget of 20k in Chicago, we would have a difficult time.