Safety while H is deployed.

LetsHikeToday

H is working late tonight and we just had a knock and door bell ring at our door. I'm not expecting anyone and because it's dark, I didn't answer the door. It got me thinking about deployments.

How do you continue to feel safe in your house when your H is deployed?

TeamBaby

Oh Hike.  This is scary.  2 weeks ago on a Mon night around 11:30, 3 men knocked on a neighbor's door (abt 3 houses down from us).  She spoke to them through the door but wouldn't open it.  Her dog was barking and the man speaking got annoyed with her when she told him she wasn't opening the door because she didn't know him.  Well, they walked away (she called the police).  The walked over to my other neighbor (directly across the street from the side of our house) and did the same thing.  This time, a single guy (Special Forces guy) lives there.  He immediately grabbed his gun and walked downstairs.  Maybe he took too long to answer, and the 3 men assumed no one was home, so they threw a brick through the back kitchen door.  He ran at them with his gun, screaming at them and they ran off.  He said he definitely would have shot them had they actually gotten into the house.  Very scary.

But to answer your question.  I have a gun.  It stays loaded with a round in the chamber in my nightstand.  I dare someone to come into my house.  I will not hesitate to empty the magazine on them. 

LetsHikeToday

So when did you become okay with the idea of having a gun?

I didn't grow up around guns. I know H wants one in the future and I'm not AGAINST it but the thought makes me nervous.

TeamBaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_safety-h-deployed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:0091c09b-3667-4bfe-a0c6-67c16c7deec5Post:6806a73e-a9cf-4659-ad74-3745f655b83b">Re: Safety while H is deployed.</a>:
[QUOTE]So when did you become okay with the idea of having a gun? I didn't grow up around guns. I know H wants one in the future and I'm not AGAINST it but the thought makes me nervous.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

I guess just being in the Army I suppose.  I never grew up around guns, my parents never owned any.  I actually bought it when I got my first apartment by myself when I lived in northern VA.  Guns don't make me nervous since I understand how they work and how to use them.  I think that makes a huge difference.

TeamBaby

And I'm definitely not a gun fanatic.  I don't like to go to the firing range for fun.  (The Army took all the fun out of that for me I think).  I have it only for protection, not a hobby.

LetsHikeToday

I would definitely have to educate myself.

My dogs definitely would be something to help protect us. They are super friendly but seem so scary. I just don't want to be nervous EVERYTIME they bark or someone knocks on my door. You know?

My family was robbed when I was about 7. I still remember coming home to a house that looked like a tornado went through it.

KendallR10

H has never deployed but I can't wait to have a gun in the house. I love to go shooting. We have no guns currently but we have a big long knife right now 

TeamBaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_safety-h-deployed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:0091c09b-3667-4bfe-a0c6-67c16c7deec5Post:4d561f00-b54c-472d-a896-817c0f3d73aa">Re: Safety while H is deployed.</a>:
[QUOTE]I would definitely have to educate myself. My dogs definitely would be something to help protect us. They are super friendly but seem so scary. I just don't want to be nervous EVERYTIME they bark or someone knocks on my door. You know? My family was robbed when I was about 7. I still remember coming home to a house that looked like a tornado went through it.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

Getting comfortable with firing it will definitely help.  That is a must- regardless.  Dogs are a huge deterrent too- especially a barking dog.  I have an 8 year old black lab and yes he looks scary to people who don't know dogs, but he doesn't bark. :/

Our house was broken into when I was about 5 I think, but my mom noticed the broken window first and I don't actually remember going into the house.  I can't imagine how that must have felt. 

LetsHikeToday

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_safety-h-deployed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:0091c09b-3667-4bfe-a0c6-67c16c7deec5Post:c35bd337-bca3-4241-b331-1a8d95f652b2">Re: Safety while H is deployed.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Safety while H is deployed. : Getting comfortable with firing it will definitely help.  That is a must- regardless.  Dogs are a huge deterrent too- especially a barking dog.  I have an 8 year old black lab and yes he looks scary to people who don't know dogs, but he doesn't bark. :/ Our house was broken into when I was about 5 I think, but my mom noticed the broken window first and I don't actually remember going into the house.  I can't imagine how that must have felt. 
Posted by TeamBaby[/QUOTE]

My dogs are LOUD barkers when someone knocks at the door. It actually scares me too though. So even though they'd help, their barking makes me nervous at night when I'm alone.

Thanks for sharing your experience with how you feel safe. I'm open to whatever will help me feel comfortable.

crownsuperstar

Well we have two not so scary dogs.  I will say that we did get an alarm system and I turn it on when I am sleeping and away.  I hardly turn it on when I am home and awake.  No gun here.  I think I might shoot my foot like Barney Phife on the Andy Griffith Show.   

AmandaSC1988

I live on my own right now. I'm not going to lie, when I lived at my old rental house I would get scared, especially after we had the police come by warning us that they thought the house catty corner had a known robber kind of living in it. Suspensions were confirmed a couple months later when there was about 5 armed police officers banging down the door.

When we live together we are going to HAVE to live in a gated community, I know it doesn't protect against all the crazies, but it keeps out a lot of them. 

LetsHikeToday

Would you feel safer on base?

I've never lived on a base but we plan on it when we go to Kings Bay.

KendallR10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_safety-h-deployed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:0091c09b-3667-4bfe-a0c6-67c16c7deec5Post:24e33897-f762-4437-b48e-98e3202e3395">Re: Safety while H is deployed.</a>:
[QUOTE]Would you feel safer on base? I've never lived on a base but we plan on it when we go to Kings Bay.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]
Some maybe. I've heard good things about some bases and some not so good things about others. <div>
</div><div>I know there is this little alarm thing that you can put on your doors and windows that make a little chime sound when they get opened. I plan on getting one soon. They are little and are battery powered</div>

crownsuperstar

I don't live any where near the base where H is stationed.  We are still in different places since he is deployed and I didn't want to move we when found out he was deploying.  I have a job and a house here too.  So I stayed put.  I really don't think that I would feel safer either way. 

Irishcurls

Yeah, my girlfriend got an alarm system installed, that actually went off once at night--nothing happened to her but she was really glad that it alerted her anyway. Still scary stuff. I don't think I could have a gun, like Crown, I'd probably lose a toe before I did any real protecting. 

Danidawn20

Fi set up my apartment with extra locks and he also put alarms on all the doors.  

I have my dog Winston, and I know Karate as well as was taught self protection by my step-dad who is a federal agent.

As for guns-  I have a story 

About 2 years ago I was at my parents house for my college break. I was alone and something was moving outside. My parents dog stared barking defensivly and it sounded like someone was trying to get into the house. Thankfully all the doors were locked. I called my step-dad to tell him what was going on. He told me to go up stairs to the guest room, open the closet door and in the middle of the back wall hit it with my fist, when the door opens grab the gun and hide in the closet. He would be home as soon as he could. He told me the gun had no safety and is loaded. Only shoot it if someone opens the closet door. He said he would sau our code word when he got home. (He was working a big case) 

He was 25 minutes away but  got their under 10.

It turns out my little sisters highschool friends were trying to pull a prank on my sister. They thought she was home instead of me. 

While I was in the closet- I was so afraid, I was thinking  that some one my stepdad put away got out of jail. 

I'm not a fan of guns, but ever since that night, I made sure to know how to use one. (my stepdad had to teach me what to do over the phone while he was driving)

divinemsbee

Not done the deployment thing, yet, but I am one of those people who gets really weird after about 3 days of living completely alone (when roomates are out of town or I'm dog-sitting or such). I get totally paranoid about noises and locking doors and windows. That said, I'm not big on guns (no judgement to those who are, I'm just not), and neither is FI. We do have a small but powerfully barking dog though, and as long as you couldn't see him I'd imagine it would at least be alerting, if not intimidating.

My Dad still lives in the house I grew up in and it is, to say the least, in a rather rough part of town. It's slightly worse now than when I was younger, but it still wasn't the best neighborhood (some of my closest friends parents prefered that we do sleepovers at the friends' houses). He's never been robbed or mugged, and doesn't own a gun besides some old and most probably broken old rifles he used to use to squirell hunt that are in the very back of his closet. I never felt scared walking around the neighborhood by myself, and we played all the time and built tree forts in abandoned lots. However, I'm such a scaredy-cat now that I would want to move into a safer neighborhood.

As far as bases go, I've only spent any amount of time on two, and both of them seem preferable to most off-base housing in both areas (and I include my apartment in that). I would love to be living on the NAS base here if we were married, and that's definitely the plan for wherever we end up.

kara811

This next deployment will be the first one I will truly be home alone, so I don't have much to say about that yet. Although, I've spent quite a few days home alone either in Japan when H is gone on workups or duty days and back home at my parents'. I am one of those people that get paranoid over small noises and always feel like someone will break in.I always make sure all my doors are locked and I leave a light on also. Most of the time I just force myself not to be paranoid about these things. H got a gun for his early Xmas present and he has been teaching Mr how to shoot it. He wants me to be ready if someone ever breaks in our new place especially if he's gone underway. I also want to be prepared for that even though we live in a nice and quiet area, you just never know sometimes. And like PP mentioned, it depends on the base. Some places, crime rates are actually higher around the base area.

BinxRose

Ugh this was not something I should have read this week with FI having watch! I just keep everything shut and locked whether my FI is here or not. And I never answer the door whn I'm not expecting anyone. I wouldn't mind learning how to use a gun and having one if needed.

sofiabrian

 We have a "guard" dog! Not really, Reese is super calm and friendly, but barks when anyone is at the door. 

As for other safety measures, I have lights on a timers; one upstairs and one in the living room. I have them set to turn on/off when I'm not home or when I know I'll be coming home late. We also have two guns in the house. I'm comfortable using both of them.

(knock on wood) My neighborhood is fairly safe, and everyone knows everyone. We all keep everyone posted on the good and bad things that happen in the neighborhood. 

shan87

I own a pistol. It's locked in a safe with a loaded mag. I knew I would have to be comfortable with various wearpons with my career in Law Enforcment but never wanted one in the home. Like Team said, learning is the first step in becoming comfortable! You def. need to maintain a respect for any weapon and be comfortable with the results. Some people are not comfortable with seriously injurying or killing someone (completely normal) but when you have a gun in your procession and are using it for protection if someone gets in... are you okay with shooting them? If not, then it doesn't make sense to have it.

I use to sleep with my long and heavy flash light under my pillow (before the gun). I've lived alone for a while so I am use to double checking doors, parking in well lit areas carrying my spray pepper spray, I also have a pocket knife on me almost all the time.

amh04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_safety-h-deployed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:0091c09b-3667-4bfe-a0c6-67c16c7deec5Post:f0166123-43e4-4ed5-8015-13b7f86eed23">Re: Safety while H is deployed.</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh Hike.  This is scary.  2 weeks ago on a Mon night around 11:30, 3 men knocked on a neighbor's door (abt 3 houses down from us).  She spoke to them through the door but wouldn't open it.  Her dog was barking and the man speaking got annoyed with her when she told him she wasn't opening the door because she didn't know him.  Well, they walked away (she called the police).  The walked over to my other neighbor (directly across the street from the side of our house) and did the same thing.  This time, a single guy (Special Forces guy) lives there.  He immediately grabbed his gun and walked downstairs.  Maybe he took too long to answer, and the 3 men assumed no one was home, so they threw a brick through the back kitchen door.  He ran at them with his gun, screaming at them and they ran off.  He said he definitely would have shot them had they actually gotten into the house.  Very scary. But to answer your question.  I have a gun.  It stays loaded with a round in the chamber in my nightstand.  I dare someone to come into my house.  I will not hesitate to empty the magazine on them.  :/
Posted by TeamBaby[/QUOTE]

this last part exactly.both FI and I have a gun loaded in each of our night stands.

Rethany

I grew up around guns so having a loaded gun on the night stand is not a huge deal for me or FI.  However, I completely understand people who are timid around them.

If you're interested in purchasing and using a gun I strongly suggest taking a defensive gun course of some sort.  They teach you how to carry the gun, use the gun, effective stances, etc.  I've watched a few television shows as well but putting it into practice in a controled atmosphere is really the best idea.

The thing about guns is if you're going to use one....you better use it.  There are occassions where just the sight of the gun will scare someone off but most times it won't.

Ok.  I'll get off my soapbox.  I'm just really passionate about guns and gun safety is all

Zeldakins

My boyfriend's family is REALLY big on guns (they're both law enforcement and military people), I was never exposed to them before I met him. They insisted on taking me with them everytime they'd go hunting so that I could go shoot some rounds with them for fun at least. As tiny as I am they made me learn how to shoot Ak-47's, M-16's, and AR-15's...along with some other rifles. His dad is insisting on me getting my concealed handgun license as soon as I can...(he knows what our plans are teehee). They're the only reason that I'm so good with guns now and that I wouldn't feel nervous if I ever had to use one. Which is good because I'm probably living by myself next year. (FINALLY!)

khuxley

I took a gun safety class and learned a lot of really great information about laws regarding guns in my state and practiced shooting/handling the gun. It definitely got me very comfortable using a gun if I needed to and the laws surrounding how someone could use a gun. Other than owning a gun the Officer leading the class talked to us about creating a safe-room. This room should have a lock on the inside of the door and a telephone at minimum. The telephone should be a landline- which if you don't have a landline number you can call the phone company and get it setup for I think a one time fee of like 10 dollars and you can use this line for calling 911 only. The reason for this is because calling 911 on a cellphone will first connect through to the state police then they will transfer you to local police and in a real emergency there won't be time for this. Getting pepper spray and actually carrying it when you are walking alone going into your house or going from work to your car is also a great idea because you don't know who could be around. If you aren't comfortable with a gun you could at least start by creating the safe room for when you are home and having pepper spray.

prettyirishgirl

Well before we moved we had a loaded gun or the gun with the magazine in or on the nightstand. When FI was deployed before i have a "nephew" it stayed loaded on nightstand with him gone. After that it was put away and separated if we ever had anyone over. We have a dog as well, but she is really nice unless she thinks you can't handle it so I don't depend on her for defence since its her impression and not always reliable. In her defence she did go bezerk when soemone broke into my car. woke me up quietly growled out the window and pointed at the car (full on point paw and tail and all) i almost busted up laughing because i'd never seen her do it). On a different not she would let the neighborhood kids in our yard al the time to get her and take her for walks so like i said it depends.

I'm actually not ok without a gun in the house. I was raised with them, am extremely familiar and someone attempted to rob me at gunpoint before I was 18 and the only thing (in my opinion) that helped me otu of that situation was that I had my own gun under my desk so its a must for me.I have also had a heavy lawenforcment involved background where I needed to test and such. FI is similar. He grew up on a ranch carrying one a lot, father was army then law enforcment and then joined the military so we have a good number for hunting, collecting and protection.

Now FI moved on post and I'm back with my family for a while. I'm sure my dad has a loaded gun somewhere in the house, but I don't know where it is exactly. I do know where multiple other guns are as well as loaded mags so I could get to them if I needed to.

I grew up in a neighborhood where the door was and usually is unlocked and no alarm, but FI got an alarm when I moved to WA with him so we'd have that when he was gone - he was always gone for deployments.

On post we feel a lot safer. There is always staff around and always people home around us. We could end up with something happening, But one nice thing is Rucker seems to have walking and driving patrols a lot and a "no people that don't live there" rule for the neighborhoods which is really nice. I don't know about every post, but I know it was very difficult as a civilian to get on Lewis-McCord so i'd see the crime on post a lot lower then that in surrounding areas.

mehgank

H and I both have loaded guns in our nightstands. I have his Smith & Wesson 1911 locked and loaded on my side, all I have to do is pull the trigger. His Sig Sauer XDM is on his nightstand, and it's got a light/laser sight on it. Just flip the safety off and pull the trigger.

We also have an ADT alarm installed with sensors on the front door and the back sliding glass door, plus a motion sensor in the main part of the house. It covers the front entryway, the dining room, kitchen, and master bedroom door. It's loud as fvck when it goes off. I also have two key fobs, one I keep on my keyring and one I keep on my nightstand. They have a panic function, so if I hear a noise in the middle of the night, I can set it off with the touch of a button. There's also a code I can enter on the alarm panel if, say, I'm in a hostage situation and they force me to turn the alarm off. I punch it in, it silences the alarm, but it immediately notifies the police of a hostage situation.