My FI and I got engaged over Christmas, He is in the military and going to be deployed here shortly...He wants to be very involved in planning and I want him to be involved so we have decided to try and do most of the planning before he is deployed but he never has time to plan and gets mad when he thinks I am making choices with out him. (We are both in different states so everything is by email, phone or skype....) I have tried to work on the guest list and asked him to make time and it always gets put off because he has other things to do, I dont mind that he has other things to do and completely understand thathe doesnt have time but how am I supposed to get anything done when he is always busy... I feel like I am stuck because he wont let me plan with out him and he doesnt have time to do it... any suggestions on how to handle this?
Re: Help!
Maybe work on things, and offer him suggestions/choices. Talk to him about your guest lists and say, make me al ist when you can, I'm going to ask your mom and my mom for theirs and make my own. I'd like them by this date XXX so I can start looking at venues that will hold a certain amount of people, etc. Then I'll show you the venues I found and we'll look at them online together and start narrowing it down.
Even if you have a decision decided, give him options to look at and think about.
We are both difficult and stubborn people but I feel like this is getting out of hand... I mean he has time to rock climb and stuff but not to help out and I cant go head on my own because then he doesnt get a choice (even when I send him several to pick from) I have finally just gone ahead and picked my dress and other things he has no say in.
Last night I told him that he either needed to make time or give up his choices and trust me to plan something we will both enjoy and all he said was Okay. I feel like I am being a brat but whatelse is there to do? I really want him to feel included but I dont get that he really cares about stuff.. Which is fine I just want it to be okay that I am moving forward and him to feel like he is helping...
We tried doing that list of what is important to us in the wedding but his list never got done.
Last night was hopefully a breakthrough there was an argument because he feels like he has done tons of stuff to help and I dont feel like he has done much of anything but he said he would like to talk about wedding planning on Saturday! So hopefully we can get our guest list done and I can then move on with other parts of the planning process.
We want to have our wedding on June 25, 2011... Its the half way mark between our birthdays! Living in Utah and wanting to get married in June means I have to have a venue book a year in advance as well as most of the other details , I have called some places and they are already booked so I feel a little rushed which I am sure doesnt make it easier on him. I am by no means easy to deal with but thanks for your help and hopefully we will get planning this weekend!