What you wish you'd known

crnflkgirl75

So ladies, in 11 days, I will be a military wife. What are some of the things about The military you had to find it yourselves or wish you'd known earlier? I mean the beaurocratic stuff-- I'm already waaaaay too familiar with dealing with him being gone all the time! Give me your knowledge!

crownsuperstar

Good question.  I am still learning.  I for one cannot get used to all of the acronym used for things.  I often times find myself in a blank stare when H strarts to speak "Army lingo." I just smile make a mental note and google what it means. 

LetsHikeToday

I don't know much about Navy lingo or anything that has to do with H's job. One thing that I needed was my H's login to check paychecks. Especially because I'm not employed and he is going underway soon. I need that to budget now more than ever.

iluvmytxrgr

Learn to read an LES

shan87

What branch is your FI in?

I was really excited when I found out I could send H stuff for free while he was deployed. All I had to do was drop the boxes off at the Squad and they were able to send them with the deployer (plane) that leaves base weekly. It was something I found out as a fluck and is not widely known around base but saved me A LOT of $ and headache with the USPS. But I know it's specific to us since H is AF and the base has cargo planes.

Our base and most AF bases offer a Heart Link class. During the class I learned a TON of information that was base specific that has been invaluable.

idk How familiar you are with your FI's current base but learning what each office does has been a life saver as well. For me, the Airmen Family Readiness center has been my go to place on base, see if they have events for spouses of deployed SMs.... I discovered our base offers a lot of freebees for spouses while their SO is deployed (ranging from free oil changes to child care).


Also a random tid-bit I learned. You can access ITT offices of any branch, we called the NY reserve base when we went to Niagara Falls (they have since closed) but something I wasn't aware of.

crnflkgirl75

Awesome! Please, keep 'em coming ladies! I'm sure I'm not the only newb to need these ideas! How about Tricare stuff and such? I'm going to be completely lost and Fi will be gone again about a week after the wedding. Anything you can tell me is awesome!

Zimsgirl

This is a good thread. Definitely listening in.

firemedicrr

I have nothing to add because I'm not a wife yet, but I am definitely listening in as well... and also, I just want to ask if you guys purposefully picked 4.20 for your wedding... for what it's famous for, or if it was for other reasons. lol. ... either way, awesome and congrats

LetsHikeToday

In PA, we were given the certified copy of our marriage license right away so we went to The Deers office a few days later to get me enrolled. Do that before he leaves. That way you'll automatically be enrolled in tricare.

firemedicrr

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_what-you-wish-youd-known?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:1e51d0ba-5514-4875-84f1-02ee15fcca5bPost:5cd44796-7371-4da8-b82b-8801856b7c37">Re: What you wish you'd known</a>:
[QUOTE]In PA, we were given the certified copy of our marriage license right away so we went to The Deers office a few days later to get me enrolled. Do that before he leaves. That way you'll automatically be enrolled in tricare.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

<div>Did any of our regulars here get married in VA? I'm trying to figure out if this is possible here. We're getting married Saturday and we have to leave VA for our HM before the courts open Monday morning, and won't be back to VA until after our HM is over... so if I wait on them to mail things, I won't be able to do any of this until basically July....</div>

LetsHikeToday

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_what-you-wish-youd-known?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:1e51d0ba-5514-4875-84f1-02ee15fcca5bPost:adb4f9dc-9e49-434b-bf83-30d84f303fdc">Re: What you wish you'd known</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What you wish you'd known : Did any of our regulars here get married in VA? I'm trying to figure out if this is possible here. We're getting married Saturday and we have to leave VA for our HM before the courts open Monday morning, and won't be back to VA until after our HM is over... so if I wait on them to mail things, I won't be able to do any of this until basically July....
Posted by firemedicrr[/QUOTE]



What are you going to mail? Our JoP mailed our marriage certificate. Then we enrolled me in DEERS at quantico and I went to the DMV and SS to change my name.

firemedicrr

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_what-you-wish-youd-known?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:1e51d0ba-5514-4875-84f1-02ee15fcca5bPost:5cd44796-7371-4da8-b82b-8801856b7c37">Re: What you wish you'd known</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>In PA, we were given the certified copy of our marriage license right away</strong> so we went to The Deers office a few days later to get me enrolled. Do that before he leaves. That way you'll automatically be enrolled in tricare.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

<div>sorry, I was kinda vague wasn't I? </div><div>
</div><div>I guess I'm wondering if they can/will do this in VA too- I am confused to death about the license and certified copies, how many there are and where they go to, and when I'll get what I need to change my name, etc........</div>

shan87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_what-you-wish-youd-known?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:1e51d0ba-5514-4875-84f1-02ee15fcca5bPost:c1bf84d3-5dc6-4095-b340-030a5f660eb8">Re: What you wish you'd known</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What you wish you'd known : sorry, I was kinda vague wasn't I?  I guess I'm wondering if they can/will do this in VA too- I am confused to death about the license and certified copies, how many there are and where they go to, and when I'll get what I need to change my name, etc........
Posted by firemedicrr[/QUOTE]

In MN we recieved the certified copy in the mail a few days after the Ceremony. I only needed one (because I didn't mail anything out, did it all in person). Deers office made a copy along with my passport. Social Sercuity Office made a copy as well.

if you are mailing things out (passport, bank accounts, SSN etc) then I would request a couple extra copies. In MN you can do it online or in person for $5/copy.

shan87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_what-you-wish-youd-known?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:1e51d0ba-5514-4875-84f1-02ee15fcca5bPost:0e44d1e4-5785-4d50-be09-1637515a254b">Re: What you wish you'd known</a>:
[QUOTE]Awesome! Please, keep 'em coming ladies! I'm sure I'm not the only newb to need these ideas! How about Tricare stuff and such? I'm going to be completely lost and Fi will be gone again about a week after the wedding. Anything you can tell me is awesome!
Posted by crnflkgirl75[/QUOTE]

What would you like to know about TriCare stuff? like Hike said get enrolled before he leaves for sure.
 
I was able to set up an account online to review things see status of refferals, search for providers etc. At the time I was enrolled I was still back in MN and was on Standard. I was able to find providers online (triwest) with no problems.  We have a clinic on base with a TriCare rep that tackles most referral questions now. But my PCM was able to get me a referral no problems.

That is all I can think of right now.

iluvmytxrgr

Click the FAQ button in my siggy.  It may help you out a bit. 

crnflkgirl75

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_what-you-wish-youd-known?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:1e51d0ba-5514-4875-84f1-02ee15fcca5bPost:c12b3d1e-f264-40fc-8171-1b7ea068f0b0">Re: What you wish you'd known</a>:
[QUOTE]I have nothing to add because I'm not a wife yet, but I am definitely listening in as well... and also, I just want to ask if you guys purposefully picked 4.20 for your wedding... for what it's famous for, or if it was for other reasons. lol. ... either way, awesome and congrats :)
Posted by firemedicrr[/QUOTE]



Lol! It was originally the 21st, but the venue had a conflict and we had to change it!

Irishcurls

For Tricare stuff, once you enroll in DEERS, which requires ID and your certified marriage certificate, you'll be enrolled in Standard. It works just like a PPO in the civilian world--so there are providers that are 'in network' and accept Tricare and there are providers 'out of network' that you can still go to but you'll pay out of pocket significantly. You get no insurance card, your husband's SS# is your ID number and they generally started billing you for up to the $150 yearly copay (I think the amount they bill is predetermined by the provider, something like 15-20% of the total bill?). CVS accepts it for scripts, as do a lot of other chain pharmacies. 

Sammy0709

Irish- It was my understanding that you are auto-enrolled in Prime, not Standard. You have to ask for standard. Even if you don't reside near a base it was my understanding you were auto-enrolled in Prime-remote.

Irishcurls

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_what-you-wish-youd-known?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:1e51d0ba-5514-4875-84f1-02ee15fcca5bPost:36c8b654-c4ea-4b67-87b3-3902400adcfe">Re:What you wish you'd known</a>:
[QUOTE]Irish- It was my understanding that you are auto-enrolled in Prime, not Standard. You have to ask for standard. Even if you don't reside near a base it was my understanding you were auto-enrolled in Prime-remote.
Posted by Sammy0709[/QUOTE]
Nope, opposite I thought?? I definitely don't go to base doctors.  <div>
</div><div>ETA: regardless, you're auto-enrolled and those are the two options...I like having the standard, option of keeping my own doctors. </div>

Irishcurls

I had to use my google machine because I was getting confused. From Tricare's website:  TRICARE Standard and Extra offer the most flexibility. You may visit any TRICARE-authorized provider, network or non-network, at any time. Enrollment is not required to participate; coverage is automatic as long as your information is current in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System.

Sammy0709

Weird, I never specifically asked for Prime but that's what I automatically got.

kara811

So I replied agreeing with Irish but I guess TK ate my post!

lrh17

I recently went through the Tricare stuff and was automatically enrolled in Standard.   Definitely get that taken care of right away crnflk.  We had to wait a little b/c H didn't start AD until he arrived at his training, and it was somewhat of a PITA to take care of when we were apart.