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Already married, but having our ceremony

MrsKight206MrsKight206
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in Military Brides
Have any of you ladies gone the route of marrying at the Justice of the peace and then having a ceremony later? 
What were some of the things that you did differently. Did the day feel less special? 

My husband and I will have been married for nearly two years by the time we are finally able to have our ceremony.... (Huge THANK YOU Marine Corps!) Ugh!

But, since we've finally found the time in our lives to have the ceremony that I've been trying to plan for such a long time now, I'm feeling a little strange about the idea. Any advice, words of encouragement, ideas, or personal experienes that they would like to share will be GREATLY appreciated. 

Please... any help? 

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Re: Already married, but having our ceremony

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    kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's fair to say "ugh Marine Corps".

    On that note, I think if you want to have a vow renewal, then have one. One of my friends had something simple when she got back from her deployment. BBQ, a cute dress, a simple renewal. It looked beautiful.

    I'm pretty horrified at the idea of spending money on my actual wedding. It's just so expensive, and it's a very simple wedding. If we had already been married two years, I don't think I would spend the cash.
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    SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think Stan gave you a great suggestion for a simple low key VR.

    and the Marine Corps didn't force your H to serve, so it's not fair to act like they have it out for you. I hate when people do that. 
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    Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:41b469d1-38e8-44b3-bd11-3a23ca61037a">Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have any of you ladies gone the route of marrying at the Justice of the peace and then having a ceremony later?  What were some of the things that you did differently. <strong>Did the day feel less special?  </strong>My husband and I will have been married for nearly two years by the time we are finally able to have our ceremony.... (Huge THANK YOU Marine Corps!) Ugh! <strong>But, since we've finally found the time in our lives to have the ceremony that I've been trying to plan for such a long time now, I'm feeling a little strange about the idea. </strong>Any advice, words of encouragement, ideas, or personal experienes that they would like to share will be GREATLY appreciated.  Please... any help? 
    Posted by MrsKight206[/QUOTE]

    <div>I ditto everything Stan said.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Can I ask what the purpose of this ceremony is?  Is it a religious ceremony?  Or are you just looking for your dad to dress up and say vows again?</div><div>
    </div><div>I have not been in this situation.  We planned our wedding quick to have it how we wanted the first time around.  We are coming up on our first anniversary soon, and TBH the last thing on my mind is planning another wedding or ceremony or anything like that.  Even if we were to plan to renew our vows in the future, there is no way in hell I would want to make a big to-do out of it, and probably do a simple ceremony and go out to eat after.  But everyone is different.  </div><div>
    </div><div>What is making you feel strange about it?  If you are only doing this because you had been planning on it, then go with your guy if you're feeling strange about it.  You could wait and do a 5 year VR ceremony, which to me is more fitting than a 2 year one.  Also, your question about it feeling less special is not something I can answer for you.  But I know for me if I were planning this, it wouldn't feel as special to me.  We are already married, and nothing, not even a vow renewal, is going to compare to the day we committed our lives together, no matter how big or small of an even that was.  That's a decision only you and your FI can make for you though.  But if you are unsure or feel uncomfortable I wouldn't go spending a ton of money on something just for the sake of doing it.</div>
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    kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Real question: Are you naked in your avatar picture?!
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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    greeneke2greeneke2
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:57ab0940-cda6-4901-96b0-178d8d8b9075">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]Real question: Are you naked in your avatar picture?!
    Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>haha oh lord that made me giggle!</div>
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:57ab0940-cda6-4901-96b0-178d8d8b9075">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]Real question: Are you naked in your avatar picture?!
    Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]


    They're definitely in bed!  Awkkkkward!  Though I do spy a black strap (bra strap?) on her shoulder if you get a big version of the pic.  So they're not totally naked, though he clearly isn't wearing a shirt.


    And-plus-also - your screen name has your FI's last name, and your profile has both of your first names.  You should familiarize yourself with OPSEC and PERSEC, and keep identifying details (like names, locations, dates, etc.) off any sort of online post (this includes Facebook).  Just a friendly piece of advice!  I'd suggest you edit your account to change your first names to first initials only.

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    kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:f2cf476c-89d0-404a-8543-e9c6c05df4f5">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Already married, but having our ceremony : They're definitely in bed!  Awkkkkward!  Though I do spy a black strap (bra strap?) on her shoulder if you get a big version of the pic.  So they're not totally naked, though he clearly isn't wearing a shirt. And-plus-also - your screen name has your FI's last name, and your profile has both of your first names.  You should familiarize yourself with OPSEC and PERSEC, and keep identifying details (like names, locations, dates, etc.) off any sort of online post (this includes Facebook).  Just a friendly piece of advice!  I'd suggest you edit your account to change your first names to first initials only.
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    <div>It looks like one of those cupless bras though. The ones for private fun time! </div><div>
    </div><div>OP, when you do your VR, take LOTS of pics!</div>
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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    SamiI612SamiI612
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    edited December 2011
    I am!
    My husband and I got married in October 2010 because he deployed in February... Our "wedding" that was planned is 6-2-12. People will give you so much crap about that, but let it roll off. If they faced what we do, they'd stop talking fast.
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    kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:f3506b03-f837-4323-b3b5-0998422a276e">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]If they faced what we do, they'd stop talking fast.
    Posted by SamiI612[/QUOTE]

    <div>Not necessarily.</div>
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    ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Stan. THere are lots of military brides who manage to do it without having 2 different "wedding" dates. 
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:f3506b03-f837-4323-b3b5-0998422a276e">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am! My husband and I got married in October 2010 because he deployed in February... Our "wedding" that was planned is 6-2-12. People will give you so much crap about that, but let it roll off. If they faced what we do, they'd stop talking fast.
    Posted by SamiI612[/QUOTE]


    Uh.... you're on a MILITARY BRIDES board.  The girls on this board DO face what you face, sometimes harder!

    GGirl's fiance is deployed, and they didn't rush to the altar before he left.  She also had just moved to a new city and didn't have a job yet, so the BAH would have been very helpful.  But it wasn't a good enough reason to get married in a rush.

    I'm currently unemployed and without health insurance.  If we got married now, I'd get $1500/month (approximately) from his BAH and TriCare.   But I'm managing on unemployment assistance and paying for crappy insurance out of pocket like everyone else in the country who isn't military.  Just because you're marrying someone in the military doesn't make you a special snowflake who can do whatever they want because live is just so darn tough and others just don't understand you - the sooner you get over the martyr complex, the better.  The military didn't "force" you to get married.

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    kara811kara811 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:f3506b03-f837-4323-b3b5-0998422a276e">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am! My husband and I got married in October 2010 because he deployed in February... Our "wedding" that was planned is 6-2-12. People will give you so much crap about that, but let it roll off. <strong>If they faced what we do, they'd stop talking fast.</strong>
    Posted by SamiI612[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>What exactly is it that you have faced? Like Calindi said, this is the MB board, we have all probably been through the same things to a certain degree. I didn't go rushing a marriage just because H is stationed in another continent or going through deployments or any other obstacle that came our way. </div>
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    NicoleRachelleNicoleRachelle
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm actually doing something similar! My husband deployed and we made the decision to have a civil ceremony beforehand. However, during the so-called ceremony, we were given the option to leave out the vows so we could save them for our wedding ceremony! So, to make our actual ceremony special, we didn't say them during the civil ceremony so our family and friends could be there to witness our vows! 

    I believe, if the ceremony is something special to you, do it! It doesn't matter if it's been a year or two years. This is about you and your husband, not necessarily what anyone else thinks! And think of it this way, you can have two wedding anniversaries-- two reasons to celebrate! ;) I personally consider myself one of the luckiest girls in the world, because I got to marry my husband not once, but twice!! :)

    The only issue I'm having so far is figuring out how to word my wedding invitations since I have already taken his last name- and will have for over a year before our wedding ceremony! 
    "Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw them, it's one day closer to the next time you will."

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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:11f0927c-a77a-49d5-81ef-31051f667a54">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Already married, but having our ceremony : OMG!  This is greedy beyond words.  It is also an insult to all the brides who were legally married in a courthouse wedding.  So my grandmother's wedding was not good enough for you?  My aunt should have gotten married again after WW II?  Ugh!  Just ugh!
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    Look at it this way... it's like two birthdays!  One the day you were born and one the day you wish you were born!  Oh wait... you can only be born once... can't we do a re-birth???  The first one wasn't official, I swear!  It was just so we could get the paperwork out of the way and enjoy the REAL birth!

    Stuff that baby back in, like a thanksgiving turkey!

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    melbelle24melbelle24 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:aa03a3a1-6bba-4d2a-9ba8-074176146014">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE] Stuff that baby back in, like a thanksgiving turkey!
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    This made me giggle.
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    NicoleRachelleNicoleRachelle
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:11f0927c-a77a-49d5-81ef-31051f667a54">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Already married, but having our ceremony : OMG!  This is greedy beyond words.  I<strong>t is also an insult to all the brides who were legally married in a courthouse wedding.  So my grandmother's wedding was not good enough for you?  My aunt should have gotten married again after WW II?  Ugh!  Just ugh!</strong>
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Really!?!? haha </div><div>
    </div><div>And please tell me how having a ceremony once my hubby returns is being greedy! </div>
    "Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw them, it's one day closer to the next time you will."

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    POSHGIRL5300POSHGIRL5300
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I AM IN SHOCK AT ALL THE RUDE COMMENTS...SOME PEOPLE ARE SO NEGATIVE AND BEYOND RUDE, THAT THEY TURN  NOTHING INTO SOMETHING IT IS NOT. TRY READING WHAT THE GIRL SAYS INSTEAD PUTTING YOUR OWN NEGATIVE SPIN ON IT. SORRY, BUT I DID NOT GET THE SAME IMPRESSION. SHE WAS NOT DOWNING THE MILITARY OR COURT HOUSE NUPTIALS. SHE WAS ASKING FOR ADVICE ON HAVING A CEREMONY AFTER BEING MARRIED, NICELY, I MIGHT ADD. SO GLAD SOME OF YOU WERE ABLE TO DO IT THE WAY YOU WANTED THE FIRST TIME AROUND, BUT, SOME DO NOT HAVE THAT OPTION AND THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE A WEDDING. WITH THAT SAID, I THINK YOU SHOULD DO ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES. THIS IS YOUR DAY, YOUR MOMENT WITH YOUR HUSBAND, SO MAKE A MEMORY FOR THE TWO OF YOU TO CHERISH. BIG OR SMALL, SIMPLE OR GRAND..MAKE YOUR DAY, AS YOU WISH TO HAVE IT, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING A WEDDING AFTER THE FACT. SO, DO NOT FEEL STRANGE OR THAT IT WILL NOT BE SPECIAL, AND FOR THE REST OF YOU...TRY A LITTLE KINDNESS, IT MAKES LIFE MORE BEAUTIFUL.

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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:a397bb40-5e11-4f5c-9b39-d95527351821">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]I AM IN SHOCK AT ALL THE RUDE COMMENTS...SOME PEOPLE ARE SO NEGATIVE AND BEYOND RUDE, THAT THEY TURN  NOTHING INTO SOMETHING IT IS NOT. TRY READING WHAT THE GIRL SAYS INSTEAD PUTTING YOUR OWN NEGATIVE SPIN ON IT. SORRY, BUT I DID NOT GET THE SAME IMPRESSION. SHE WAS NOT DOWNING THE MILITARY OR COURT HOUSE NUPTIALS. SHE WAS ASKING FOR ADVICE ON HAVING A CEREMONY AFTER BEING MARRIED, NICELY, I MIGHT ADD. SO GLAD SOME OF YOU WERE ABLE TO DO IT THE WAY YOU WANTED THE FIRST TIME AROUND, BUT, SOME DO NOT HAVE THAT OPTION AND THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE A WEDDING. WITH THAT SAID, I THINK YOU SHOULD DO ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES. THIS IS YOUR DAY, YOUR MOMENT WITH YOUR HUSBAND, SO MAKE A MEMORY FOR THE TWO OF YOU TO CHERISH. BIG OR SMALL, SIMPLE OR GRAND..MAKE YOUR DAY, AS YOU WISH TO HAVE IT, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING A WEDDING AFTER THE FACT. SO, DO NOT FEEL STRANGE OR THAT IT WILL NOT BE SPECIAL, AND FOR THE REST OF YOU...TRY A LITTLE KINDNESS, IT MAKES LIFE MORE BEAUTIFUL.
    Posted by POSHGIRL5300[/QUOTE]

    Caps lock is super annoying and hard to read.  Please try to use both capital and lowercase letters if you keep posting here to make it easier to read your posts.

    I don't know about others, but I don't see anywhere where it says she can't have a big ceremony - simply that you can only get married once, and that she can have a vow renewal however she wants but just to be up front about the fact that it is, in fact, a vow renewal.  Families get very hurt about being misled about big things like when you actually get married. Disagreeing with someone isn't necessarily being rude, though I'm sure some of these girls could have posted their response more kindly. The truth is we see a post almost identical to this nearly every week, so our patience has worn out a bit. That's not the OP's fault, but it's the truth.

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    NicoleRachelleNicoleRachelle
    First Comment
    edited December 2011


    Caps lock is super annoying and hard to read.  Please try to use both capital and lowercase letters if you keep posting here to make it easier to read your posts.

    I don't know about others, but I don't see anywhere where it says she can't have a big ceremony - simply that you can only get married once, and that she can have a vow renewal however she wants but just to be up front about the fact that it is, in fact, a vow renewal.  Families get very hurt about being misled about big things like when you actually get married. Disagreeing with someone isn't necessarily being rude, though I'm sure some of these girls could have posted their response more kindly. The truth is we see a post almost identical to this nearly every week, so our patience has worn out a bit. That's not the OP's fault, but it's the truth.

    Personally, in my situation, I’m not having a “vow renewal” because vows were not said. The judge opted to leave those out since he knew we were having a ceremony at a later date. What would you call that? And my family is not hurt or mislead. Everybody knows we are legally married, why we’re waiting, and they are extremely supportive and excited for our ceremony! I’m sorry that some people don’t follow tradition and you don’t agree with it. Personally, I could care less if anyone agrees or disagrees with my decision to call this my wedding… It’s not about you and your traditions, it’s about what works best for me and my family, in my current situation. It’s okay if you don’t understand or agree with that. Just please don’t be offended when we disagree with you too. There’s no reason to make harsh remarks because people do things differently.

    Also, if you’re sick of seeing the same posts, ignore them. You do not have to respond and make petty comments. It was your personal choice to get involved.

    "Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw them, it's one day closer to the next time you will."

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    SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:bf301ec2-3bee-440f-af88-259a9455064e">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]Caps lock is super annoying and hard to read.  Please try to use both capital and lowercase letters if you keep posting here to make it easier to read your posts. I don't know about others, but I don't see anywhere where it says she can't have a big ceremony - simply that you can only get married once, and that she can have a vow renewal however she wants but just to be up front about the fact that it is, in fact, a vow renewal.   Families get very hurt about being misled about big things like when you actually get married. Disagreeing with someone isn't necessarily being rude, though I'm sure some of these girls could have posted their response more kindly . The truth is we see a post almost identical to this nearly every week, so our patience has worn out a bit. That's not the OP's fault, but it's the truth. Personally, in my situation, I’m not having a “vow renewal” because vows were not said. The judge opted to leave those out since he knew we were having a ceremony at a later date. What would you call that? And my family is not hurt or mislead. Everybody knows we are legally married, why we’re waiting, and they are extremely supportive and excited for our ceremony! I’m sorry that some people don’t follow tradition and you don’t agree with it. Personally, I could care less if anyone agrees or disagrees with my decision to call this my wedding… It’s not about you and your traditions, it’s about what works best for me and my family, in my current situation. It’s okay if you don’t understand or agree with that. Just please don’t be offended when we disagree with you too. There’s no reason to make harsh remarks because people do things differently. Also, if you’re sick of seeing the same posts, ignore them. You do not have to respond and make petty comments. It was your personal choice to get involved.
    Posted by NicoleRachelle[/QUOTE]

    First.. there's a quote button.. use it.

    I think you need to work on your reading comprehension.  No one cares about a VR, JOP, PPD, or anything.  It's the lying about it that is stupid. You said everyone knows you're legally married... Great! It's when girls go to the JOP because they "have" to, when in reality, he'll still be deployed, he'll still leave for basic, you'll still miss him just as much, you just went to the courthouse and rushed into things when you could have taken that deployment/basic/whatever, and planned your wedding, and when they lie about it so that their parents will still pay for it, or so no one knows they got secretly married.  I have an issue with the lies.  It's never a good idea to start your marriage out with a lie.. and a whole years worth of "No, he's just my FI" really piles up quickly.   Also, the military doesn't force anyone to get married so the "we had to JOP because of the military" excuse is really and truly lame and ridiculous.

    And you're right you aren't technically having a VR, because you opted not to say vows, but it's not really a wedding either, cause you're married pumpkin.
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    NicoleRachelleNicoleRachelle
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:dcf47647-613c-4ad1-80e5-dd8cc56d0208">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Already married, but having our ceremony : First.. there's a quote button.. use it. I think you need to work on your reading comprehension.  No one cares about a VR, JOP, PPD, or anything.  It's the lying about it that is stupid. You said everyone knows you're legally married... Great! It's when girls go to the JOP because they "have" to, when in reality, he'll still be deployed, he'll still leave for basic, you'll still miss him just as much, you just went to the courthouse and rushed into things when you could have taken that deployment/basic/whatever, and planned your wedding, and when they lie about it so that their parents will still pay for it, or so no one knows they got secretly married.  I have an issue with the lies.  It's never a good idea to start your marriage out with a lie.. and a whole years worth of "No, he's just my FI" really piles up quickly.   Also, the military doesn't force anyone to get married so the "we had to JOP because of the military" excuse is really and truly lame and ridiculous. And you're right you aren't technically having a VR, because you opted not to say vows, but it's not really a wedding either, cause you're married pumpkin.
    Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span"><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">Really? You're going to get on my case for not using the quote button? Ridiculous (and quite petty, might I add)! Obviously there's a quote button, if you scroll up, you can see I've used it before. I may be new, but I'm not THAT new!  And I don't know why you're bringing up lying and blaming the military, but I agree with you! It's not okay to lie or to blame the military for going to the JOP. I personally do not blame anyone! It was a choice we made together, for ourselves! And I am taking this year to plan my ceremony, it's just another way to keep myself busy!</div><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">
    </div><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">And for the record, a wedding is a ceremony or celebration of marriage and that is exactly what I'm doing-- celebrating my marriage! So who are you ( and anyone else) to tell me it's not my wedding, pumpkin?</div></span></div>
    "Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw them, it's one day closer to the next time you will."

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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As long as people don't think they're actually seeing you get married (as in the technical term - from single people to legally married) and understand you already JOP'd, then no one here really cares.  Some of us do think it's silly to spend all that money just to play dress up, but if it makes you happy, you're right - it's no one's business.  It hurts no one.  Go forth and be happy!

    The people who claim they just *HAD* to get married by JOP, the mean old military *MADE* them get married before he deployed, and that they *DESERVE* the pretty princess day so they're not going to tell their family and friends because their faux wedding won't feel as special if everyone knows they're already legally married.  Those people are in the wrong.  And we see them A LOT on this page.  And they're annoying as heck.


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    NicoleRachelleNicoleRachelle
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:b5b7b826-68c8-4db5-9d71-7dfe5edd8fa5">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]As long as people don't think they're actually seeing you get married (as in the technical term - from single people to legally married) and understand you already JOP'd, then no one here really cares.  Some of us do think it's silly to spend all that money just to play dress up, but if it makes you happy, you're right - it's no one's business.  It hurts no one.  Go forth and be happy! T<strong>he people who claim they just *HAD* to get married by JOP, the mean old military *MADE* them get married before he deployed, and that they *DESERVE* the pretty princess day so they're not going to tell their family and friends because their faux wedding won't feel as special if everyone knows they're already legally married.  Those people are in the wrong.  And we see them A LOT on this page.  And they're annoying as heck.</strong>
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I agree with you, I can see why it would be annoying. It's deceitful and wrong, so please don't put me in that category. I've been nothing but up front and honest about my situation, and like you said, I'm just doing what makes me happy. And ultimately, our family and friends want to celebrate with us too! It's going to be a fun and special time, regardless! 

    </div>
    "Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw them, it's one day closer to the next time you will."

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    SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I mentioned the Quote button, because you just C&P C's post so then to someone not following this thread, or perhaps to someone who skims these posts, might be confused about your C&Ped post. Thats all I meant..

    You seriously need to stop taking everything so personally. I was trying to explain to you what everyone else was trying to make you understand.  No one cares about a VR, PPD or anything.  Go for it! I was saying that what we don't like is the girls who lie about it, or say that the "military forced me". Thats all I was saying. No one was saying you did either of those things. You were jumping to the defense of the OP who hasn't even responded to this, and getting on our cases, when all we said was Have your VR and enjoy it, as long as you're honest about it.
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    MrsKight206MrsKight206
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My goodness! I'm shocked and appauled at most of these comments! What in the world are you people thinking? 

    Those making a comment about the picture that I have for my profile, you should be ashamed. A website created around something so special and happy should NOT be filled with such rude individuals! I owe absolutely no explination to any of you about what we were doing or what we were wearing or why I have that as my picture. Maybe if you all made a little love in your marriages you wouldn't be so offended by two people who care about each other snuggling on a bed and capturing the moment in a picture! Seriously... what a shame! 

    And about those jumping to conclusions and doing absolutely EVERYTHING EXCEPT for being helpful and conciderate, I didn't BLAME the Corps for marrying my husband when I did. I BLAMED the Marine Corps for unscheduled feild ops, bumped up deployments, and late homecomings that make planning a wedding nearly IMPOSSIBLE. 

    I checked back here tonight and remembered that I had posted this question. I started reading the comments in hopes that I would find kind suggestions and words of motivation. Happy stories of past experiences and cute tips that you did for your ceremony and reception. WHAT A DISSAPPOINTMENT!

    Thank you so much for those ladies that tried to be helpful and restrain these animals! I had no idea that I was commenting in a zoo. 

    SO, now that I've remembered this post and am getting further into the wedding planning, we can either continue flinging poo, or discuss the actual QUESTIONS that I origionally asked. 




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    kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:86122ac7-369b-4ec1-a631-3a8bf795d07f">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE] I didn't BLAME the Corps for marrying my husband when I did. I BLAMED the Marine Corps for unscheduled feild ops, bumped up deployments, and late homecomings that make planning a wedding nearly IMPOSSIBLE. 
    Posted by MrsKight206[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Hahahaha. Yes. How DARE the Marine Corps schedule time in the field to make your FI/H BETTER PREPARED FOR COMBAT. How DARE the Marine Corps bump up a deployment/delay a homecoming for a reason that I'm sure was necessary in terms of strategy. How DARE the Marine Corps not give a fig about a bloody wedding of ONE MARINE. </div><div>
    </div><div>And as to the first (not quoted) point, I do fine in that department. But naked (or insinuated naked) pictures do not belong on the internet. 

    </div>
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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    LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    MrsKnight- As someone who married someone in the navy, I understand your frustrations about his schedule. I am a teacher so before we started dating, I only knew the normal 9-5 work schedule. However, I now am used to H coming home late, working a random Sunday, etc. It's not easy and it is frustrating and disappointing, especially if we've had plans. It's his job though. I have to be understanding of that because he has a very important job of serving our country. I chose to marry him knowing how unpredictable his schedule is. Some girls on this board are currently serving and they are very proud of their service. Please keep that in mind when complaining about your situation. Some people might find that offensive. I am also concerned that this post is a month old and it was brought back up.
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    SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married-but-having-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2823a93e-f5ef-46ce-9380-a73634c37b7ePost:86122ac7-369b-4ec1-a631-3a8bf795d07f">Re: Already married, but having our ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]My goodness! I'm shocked and appauled at most of these comments! What in the world are you people thinking?  <strong>Those making a comment about the picture that I have for my profile, you should be ashamed. A website created around something so special and happy should NOT be filled with such rude individuals! I owe absolutely no explination to any of you about what we were doing or what we were wearing or why I have that as my picture. Maybe if you all made a little love in your marriages you wouldn't be so offended by two people who care about each other snuggling on a bed and capturing the moment in a picture! </strong>Seriously... what a shame!  And about those jumping to conclusions and doing absolutely EVERYTHING EXCEPT for being helpful and conciderate, I didn't BLAME the Corps for marrying my husband when I did. <strong>I BLAMED the Marine Corps for unscheduled feild ops, bumped up deployments, and late homecomings that make planning a wedding nearly IMPOSSIBLE. </strong> I checked back here tonight and remembered that I had posted this question. I started reading the comments in hopes that I would find kind suggestions and words of motivation. Happy stories of past experiences and cute tips that you did for your ceremony and reception. WHAT A DISSAPPOINTMENT! Thank you so much for those ladies that tried to be helpful and restrain these animals! I had no idea that I was commenting in a zoo.  SO, now that I've remembered this post and am getting further into the wedding planning, we can either continue flinging poo, or discuss the actual QUESTIONS that I origionally asked. 
    Posted by MrsKight206[/QUOTE]

    Just in case..

    Last time I checked, TK was for Weddings, not porn.  I'm super glad you get to have great sex with your H, but I personally don't want to see pics of the before, during or after.  In my honest opinion, it's more than a little bit tacky to post that kind of a picture on the internet.  What my H and I do in our bedroom, stays there, I don't feel the need to parade it all over the internet.

    I'm so sorry that the Commandant of the Marine Corps didn't personally consult you about your wedding plans. Shame on him!!
    Seriously?! Get a grip! It's not all about you.  As a Military spouse, you need to learn that the needs of the Marine Corps, and the DoD will pretty much always trump yours.  I find it funny that you say the Marine Corps makes planning a wedding nearly impossible. My H is in the Marine Corps, we planned a wedding.  GG's FI is in the Corps,they've planned and they'll be having their wedding next week.  Stan's FI is in the MC (as she will be soon as well) and yet, they too planned and are having a wedding.  GG and I both planned the majority of our weddings with our SO's on a different continent. I know I'm forgetting other lovely ladies, but these were the few that came to mind.  It's completely possible to plan a lovely wedding, even with your SO being in the Marine Corps, or in any branch..

    As for your original questions, Stan and Beach both offered you lovely suggestions for your VR.  Simple, Low Key, Classy would be excellent guidelines for a VR.  It's just a big overpriced party to celebrate your marriage with people who weren't there the first time around, because you didn't want to wait and plan to include them.
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    MrsKight206MrsKight206
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As I expected... more poo flinging. I'm glad everyone here is so much help! 
    If you all aren't mentally equipped to be helpful why are you trolling a forum for wedding planning? If you have no helpful suggestions, I have one for you. Trying your absolute hardest to be a bitch to compete strangers isn't very attractive, and it speaks a lot about a person that will make an EFFORT to do so. It sounds like you need to step away from your laptop for a little while and actually live your life. If this is how you like to spend your time you have my sympathy. 

    "Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."


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    Sammy0709Sammy0709 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In reference to your pic, I deleted a girl I went to high school with from my FB for posting pics like that constantly. Guess what she does for a living. She's works in the adult entertainment industry. I'm not saying you're a porn star, I'm just wondering if you want yourself portrayed as such. Because of my experience, in my mind that is the first thing I think of. Granted you aren't a porn star but not everyone is going to percieve your pic as, oh look how much they love eachother. Obviously this post got off track when people started discussing your pic but you fed the fire rather than ignoring it. You are ad much to blame as anyone else. If people understood that I dont think posts would get as out of hand as they tend to on here.
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