I should have seen this coming...

sherielena

My fiance and I have been planning on a Spring 2013 wedding. We are having a large weddding (250 guests) and just decided on a venue this past weekend. But of course things are getting wacky. There are some changes happeing with my fiance's section and could lead to a 7 month deployment later on this year as opposed to a shorter one he was going to do this summer. Meaning next May is no longer something we can commit to with such an uncertain future. Is it unrealistic to try to plan a wedding of our size in 4-5 months and try to push it up and make it happen this June/July? Or should we just put things on hold until we get a definate answer from his work?

Zimsgirl

I definitely think you could do it in 4-5 months!

calindi

You can definitely do it this summer, if you're willing to make some compromises.  Some of your ideal vendors might not be available, but you can definitely plan it quickly!

CAB1217

Get to work, girl.

Yes, it can be done.

divinemsbee

Do I think it can be done: absolutely. However, make sure you get military clauses in all your contracts so that if, God forbid, something happens or things get pushed back and it turns out that he's still away, you don't lose all of your money or can move it to another date. 

However, trying to do all of this before a deployment this June (I read that right, didn't I?) may be pushing it for a lot of reasons. First of all, June and July are really popular, so you may not get what you want in terms of vendors and such, you won't be able to be picky. Would you even be able to use the venue you've chosen? If they aren't already booked up, they will be soon. Especially with that many people, it's going to be harder to find a short-notice venue. Also, will your people be able to make it. I think if you're going to move it, you need to do it now, because people need notice (I know my family would).

I've been engaged since last July and didn't set a wedding date until about 10 days ago. The reason for that is that I knew that FI and I would be moving and that he would be gone for what was, at that point, an unsure amount of time (TDY, not deployment). So, I waited until everything got as settled as it's going to get, and then I started planning. I could've started planning, and, actually, if I had started with the original detail in mind it still would have worked out, but I'm glad I didn't take that chance.

amh04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_i-should-have-seen-this-coming?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:309a5bd9-52bc-4050-815a-960328dfee6bPost:cf62e1ac-9126-4403-b0ed-ff30173bff93">Re: I should have seen this coming...</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Do I think it can be done: absolutely. However, make sure you get military clauses in all your contracts so that if, God forbid, something happens or things get pushed back and it turns out that he's still away, you don't lose all of your money or can move it to another date.</strong>  However, trying to do all of this before a deployment this June (I read that right, didn't I?) may be pushing it for a lot of reasons<strong>. First of all, June and July are really popular, so you may not get what you want in terms of vendors and such, you won't be able to be picky.</strong> Would you even be able to use the venue you've chosen? If they aren't already booked up, they will be soon. Especially with that many people, it's going to be harder to find a short-notice venue. Also, will your people be able to make it. I think if you're going to move it, you need to do it now, because people need notice (I know my family would). I've been engaged since last July and didn't set a wedding date until about 10 days ago. The reason for that is that I knew that FI and I would be moving and that he would be gone for what was, at that point, an unsure amount of time (TDY, not deployment). So, I waited until everything got as settled as it's going to get, and then I started planning. I could've started planning, and, actually, if I had started with the original detail in mind it still would have worked out, but I'm glad I didn't take that chance.
Posted by divinemsbee[/QUOTE]

I agree with Divine.

It definitely and most certainely can be done. You'll definitely need clauses in your contracts just in case. And another aspect to consider, things probably will cost more doing it then rather than waiting. But you might get some discounts for being military, and for booking last minute that way you're filling up empty spaces on vendors calendars if that makes sense.

I also want you to consider the predeployment emotions that are going to come up and go along with this as well, predeployment for me was worse than deployment. Is it possible to wait until he comes home?

It might be stressful, but I would get on it like tonight. Narrow down your choices to your top three and contact them in that order. Just get things going asap and you'll be fine. Really once you have the main things booked: venue, officiant, flowers, photographer. cake, the rest is relatively easy. It's just a matter of the small things. I think if you go with the flow, and aren't really picky it'll turn out wonderful. All that matters in the end is that you're married to the man of your dreams. GL!

calindi

If you do it on a Friday night, you should have more luck with vendors and such than a Saturday.

kyrgyzstan

I planned my wedding in 7 months. I could have done it in two, well, minus the dance.

shan87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_i-should-have-seen-this-coming?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:309a5bd9-52bc-4050-815a-960328dfee6bPost:c6b442fd-2937-4649-9052-cae676e0c3b1">I should have seen this coming...</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I have been planning on a Spring 2013 wedding. We are having a large weddding (250 guests) and just decided on a venue this past weekend. But of course the Air Force and thrown a wrench in our plans. There are some changes happeing with my fiance's section and could lead to a 7 month deployment later on this year as opposed to a shorter one he was going to do this summer. Meaning next May is no longer something we can commit to with such an uncertain future. Is it unrealistic to try to plan a wedding of our size in 4-5 months and try to push it up and make it happen this June/July? Or should we just put things on hold until we get a definate answer from his work?
Posted by sherielena[/QUOTE]

Yes it can be done and is an option. Depending on how stable your realtionship is, how long you have been together and if you have experienced a deployement  (and/or distance) together would determine my opinion as to whether it is a good idea or not.

I will also add that this deployment you are talking about will probably change at least 25 times before he leaves. It may be easier for you guys to keep your date but move it to 2014 that way he can give ample notice.

BinxRose

It can totally be done! I had all my vendors booked within two months of being engaged! Because summer is a more popular time to marry, you may not get some of your first picks. But like Cali said, you could opt for a Friday evening wedding!

sherielena

Thanks for the feedback everyone! There is so much to consider and Divine you brought up some great points. I'm tyring to get as many opinions/thoughts out there as possible before I jump the gun either way. My heart is set on a venure so maybe it is best to just wait it all out.

We've been together over 3 years and thru 2 deployments and numerous TDY's, so that part of it all is nothing new to me. This wedding planning thing is more stressful than the other stuff if you ask me! haha. 

crownsuperstar

YOu can totally do it.  Like Binx, I had all of my vendors booked very soon.  I mean we got engaged in July and everything was booked in August. 

Good luck!

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_i-should-have-seen-this-coming?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:309a5bd9-52bc-4050-815a-960328dfee6bPost:90638ba5-bec1-4a96-8e18-b4399418fbca">Re: I should have seen this coming...</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the feedback everyone! There is so much to consider and Divine you brought up some great points. I'm tyring to get as many opinions/thoughts out there as possible before I jump the gun either way. My heart is set on a venure so maybe it is best to just wait it all out. We've been together over 3 years and thru 2 deployments and numerous TDY's, so that part of it all is nothing new to me. This wedding planning thing is more stressful than the other stuff if you ask me! haha. 
Posted by sherielena[/QUOTE]

Well, then if you guys are considering pushing it up, call the venue and see if they still have any dates available in the time frame you'd consider.  Definitely consider Fridays as that will give you more flexibility with vendors.

Don't let wedding planning stress you out - it's a party.  A big party, but still just a party.  You pick out a dress, you figure out a guest list, you hire a bunch of vendors, and then you let them do their jobs.  If it's stressful, cut out any DIY projects or minimize them.  They don't always save money, and if they stress you out they're likely not worth it.  If it's still stressful, hire a wedding planner. 

Definitely definitely definitely put military clauses in all of your contracts.  It should state something to the effect of "if the groom is unable to attend the wedding as scheduled due to his military commitment, (vendor's name) agrees to transfer all money to a mutually agreeable date and honor the pricing indicated in the contract, or refund all money."