Confessions...

shan87

My Confession
I have a colonoscopy tomorrow (precaution based on family history) and I'm 99.9% sure I am perfectly healthy but at the same time I am VERY anxious for a clean bill of heath tomorrow.

My other confession
I have been hounding H to get a Wii and now that I finally got it... I think I would have been just as happy without it

Irishcurls

Ok this just happened and I'm confessing it already....

I don't own a scale and have been about the same-ish size for a long time. A month before the wedding I stopped eating fast food and between my regular exercise and cleaner eating, actually lost about 4lbs. Went on a 12 day cruise and "gained it all back." It's probably mostly water on both sides, but I mentioned the H that eating m&ms after lunch wouldn't help me lose those 4lbs again and he told me I was too skinny for the wedding!! And it really hurt my feelings! I'm not a dieter by any means, and we eat healthy all the time, so it's not like I would radically change anything just for the number. But I liked how I looked....and apparently he didnt. 

Stupid body images. 

ETA: Now I feel guilty for this confession. I don't feel like "poor me, I'm fat." I love the way I look just about all the time. I was just upset that H didn't think that at the time.....ugh. Whatever, I'm too lazy to do anything either way anyway. I am how I am.

LetsHikeToday

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[QUOTE]My Confession I have a colonoscopy tomorrow (precaution based on family history) and I'm 99.9% sure I am perfectly healthy but at the same time I am VERY anxious for a clean bill of heath tomorrow. My other confession I have been hounding H to get a Wii and now that I finally got it... I think I would have been just as happy without it :(
Posted by shan87[/QUOTE]

Play Just Dance!!!! Your opinion might change :-)

To all those ladies with the fear they can't get pregnant. I'm exactly the same way. Exactly.

shan87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:31111848-e654-4a03-94fa-cb5bb84e6780Post:353e4e4d-d77b-483d-b21a-7f1cda7b0dba">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions... : Play Just Dance!!!! Your opinion might change :-) To all those ladies with the fear they can't get pregnant. I'm exactly the same way. Exactly.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

I do!!! And I love it, but H doesn't play with me :( His argument for against the Wii was we have an Xbox and get a Kinect. So I could be doing the same thing but with the Kinect.

CAB1217

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:31111848-e654-4a03-94fa-cb5bb84e6780Post:114fd94b-7951-43cc-bae9-a981f8178cee">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions... : I do!!! And I love it, but H doesn't play with me :( His argument for against the Wii was we have an Xbox and get a Kinect. So I could be doing the same thing but with the Kinect.
Posted by shan87[/QUOTE]

You've gotta get Guitar or Band hero. ORRRRR Lego Star Wars! LOL! :)

Rethany

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:31111848-e654-4a03-94fa-cb5bb84e6780Post:114fd94b-7951-43cc-bae9-a981f8178cee">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions... : I do!!! And I love it, but H doesn't play with me :( His argument for against the Wii was we have an Xbox and get a Kinect. So I could be doing the same thing but with the Kinect.
Posted by shan87[/QUOTE]
I am creating a wo-man cave for this exact reason.  FI plays Call of Duty on his xbox so I can never play my wii.  I will have my own room where I can play Just Dance and not look like a fool in front of the big picture window at his house. haha

Also, I suggest MarioKart.  Love it!

KendallR10

Hike- I know how you feel. I'm 19 and when Fi and I we're trying it didn't happen. T&Ps for you.

My confession: I feel horrible about how I have acted on here. I usually don't care what people think or say but you ladies get deployments and training and junk. I should have been the real me... 

divinemsbee

My house is a mess. And I feel like a failure because I've not been working, so it's all I've had to do. FI's been really nice about it, and he's a hugely messy person, so it doesn't bother him as much, but I feel terrible. I know that I can get it done, it's not that much, and I can do it. I've struggled with situational depression in the past, and I feel like it may be recurring. I'm just so very blah lately. It's this state that I can't shake myself out of.
I'm sort of in both worlds about the TTC thing. On one hand, I worry that I won't be able to have kids. My Mom had me when she was 29 and her last when she was 34 (there are 3 of us). I'm turning 28 with the new year. With FI and I postponing wedding stuff until his assignment is sorted, it feels like I'll wait too late. On the other hand, I'm terrified of getting knocked up before then (there are many precautions in place against this, it's kind of irrrational). Because, at this point, I would want to have the baby, and I know that FI would want to get married before it was born. Which would be fine, but I hate to put our families through that and miss the whole celebration. Or have it be a tacky shotgun affair. Yes, I am being neurotic.

LetsHikeToday

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[QUOTE]Hike- I know how you feel. I'm 19 and when Fi and I we're trying it didn't happen. T&Ps for you. My confession: I feel horrible about how I have acted on here. I usually don't care what people think or say but you ladies get deployments and training and junk. I should have been the real me... 
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

What is the real you?

KendallR10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:31111848-e654-4a03-94fa-cb5bb84e6780Post:5d961e8d-1ac6-4601-b9a0-ee0fda19ac03">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions... : What is the real you?
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]
I'm not this bratty. I'm actually pretty quiet at times. I can be pretty silly. I love to shop.. I love to do my nails, I change the color at least 3 times a week. I have goals and dreams and I don't let things or people stop me. I don't depend on other people to do things for me. If I want something done I do it myself

AmandaSC1988

I don't really have a confession...but I just got back from JAX visiting my FI. It was raining and "winding" the whole weekend. But visitng him was a lot of fun  and it was so worth it.... It was very much a laid back weekend and I hated coming home. Especially once now I regret how stressed I was this morning (we were running late to the airport). I hate saying good-bye, I hate saying good-bye when I am running late even more =(. Also,  I didn't sleep well last night because I was afraid I was going to sleep through the alarm and miss my flight so I am sooo tired this morning.  I have my ballroom dance class in a few minutes and I reaaallllyyy don't want to go....I would skip but it is P/F and only grade is attendance. 

I guess my confession is that I really miss my FI and I always get slightly depressed after i leave him...but to put salt on the wound he is leaving for a couple of weeks of training tomorrow with no phone calls, internet, and e-mail every few days....boooo.

prettyirishgirl

Oh Hike!!! I haven't had this personally, but my best friend did for the entire time and before I knew her - poor thing. I love her and her H so much. she had had 1 miscarriage before we met and one the first week I started working for her. It was horrible but it immediately brought us together in a personal stance instead of just professionally. She had been trying for 6 months after they had an IUD forever because her and her H both have a history of autism in their family and refused to conceive until there was more technologies and tests to find out what their percentage of conceiving with autism was compared to others and being able to test the child early on in the pregnancies. They ended up trying for a year and a half before they cot pregs with their cute little boy (he's a year and a half now ). She was so hurt when others would have kids and she couldn't she didnt confide in anyone except me and I felt horrible because I was only there for the end of it - not her whole life or marriage. You will be fine and I'm sure you will have it happen soon. Even if it is us I hope you confide in someone, people will understand. I do understand though how you dont want to confide IRL. my friend didn't want to and I honestly am surprised she even confided in me, but I do knwo that it made it easier for her considerably to know that one look at that person or one call and I knew what was going on and could at the least sympathize.

FTL and Cab - I feel you I always feel like Fi si to good for me and get in random slumps sometimes - Iw as in one last week until we talked yesterday. Usually it happens when we can't talk and its like I'm just lonely and have to find something wrong. Oh well - it goes away. Mine is because Fi is so sweet and because when we first started dating he didn't believe in marriage (he's a liar - found out later he just didn't wan to do what his dad did) His dad was career and his mom and dad broke up when he was like 3. His dad was barely ever around and wasn't really good with kids when he was small and they are a lot a like in a a lot of things so he always thinks he would be the same way - he has realized he isn't but it sometimes causes me to think i'm not thinking about it as much and that i forced him into it (he thinks i'm stupid :P)


CAB you make me smile about your good couples are hard to find - I feel like this a lot. We have found very few couples that we get a long with and truly enjoy their company. We have a few that are always around with others we love, but they are just a necessary evil sometimes.

confession: could currently hurt FI for is nonexistent desire to get a place to stay in AL - he is completely content to live out of a box for the 2 weeks I'm there but will be all blah if I leave without setting up a house - yet no desire to talk to post about a house or the movers about delivering our stuff *rings neck.*

SamiJoeB

Confession: I worried that all our time apart is going to take a huge toll on our marriage.  I didn't want to say anything until he heard something back from them, but H has applied to change his MOS.. and it looks like it's a go... I had in the back of my mind convinced myself that he would be too old for it (He's 26 now, but he'd be 28 or 29 by the end of training), well of course.. he got accepted for selection, so now it looks like a 3 week selection, 19 day pre-selection, and then assuming he gets selected... 7 months of initial training, 7 months of individual & unit training, followed by a 7 month deployment.  Uhmmmm... What?!  So you're telling me that I've waited a year (When he finally comes home it will have been 13 1/2 months) to be a newlywed... and now I'll get like 3 weeks of newlyweddedness before he starts this crap?!  Oh! and the first 4 months of his initial training.. he has to live in the barracks.  So I'll be 20 miles away from him, but still not able to see him..  Now, I just don't see the point in moving to be by myself.. It's his career and all but.. I'm like does your career mean that we're sacrificing our marriage?

Everyone concerned with conceiving- My parents tried for 20 years, and Here I am!!! They adopted my sister 2 years into their marriage, but never stopped trying.  My mom was 39 when she found out she was pregnant... Turns out pot is not so great for the swimmers!!  Who knew Dad?!  (I didn't know the pot part until recently) I used to be really concerned about this, but now.. H and I don't really want kids any time soon, so I'm less freaked. Plus.. adoption was a wonderful thing for our family, and We're totally open too it..

FTL- My IL's both cheated on each other (Numerous times), and I worry about H constantly (Especially lately cause he's on det and we've talked like twice... both times he's been on his way to go out and drink..).. I would never, but the worry is such a nag..

ETA:Took out PERSEC stuff... like I said I would..

firsttimersluck

Yeah that may be a persec or (edit to bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep) . The only reason I know about it is because my ex threatened that if I leave him he's going to go that route (he hasn't ...yet). Meh.. I'm sorry sami.. I know what you mean. It's hard because you don't want to be "selfish" but you do require some needs... It's a touchy line where partnership needs end and selfishness begins. We as women often fear that we are being selfish all the time... The guilt of wanting our personal/emotional/physical needs met is something [IMO] women carry moreso than men. Please don't beat yourself up about wanting attention from your H. I know I would.. I often do when H is away and I want to chat.. Has he for sure decided on it? I guess we're not suppose to talk about it on here... hmm....
Well you have our support... and Not that you need to be given advice or anything, but I would sit down with him (or.. skype-sit-down...) and talk about what you need from him through this, what he needs from you, what your hopes and expectations are, etc... You don't want to be "supportive" to the point where you feel neglected, and then start resenting him. I let myself get to that point from time to time and I never realize it until I'm suddenly super mad at H and I have to take a step back and ask myself why.

LetsHikeToday

Sami- you are one of the strongest ladies on this board. I have no doubt this will make your marriage strong. I agree with first. You are allowed to need certain things from your husband. Don't feel bad about that.

KendallR10

Sami- I have a ton of respect for you and your H. You guys have gone through a lot. If anything I hope that when FI deploys  that I have as much strength as you

ggirl2001

Sami-I don't think its being selfish. You have wants and needs as well and sometimes careers can interfere. ditto what FTL and Hike said.

Hike-Although not trying yet, that is my fear as well as my sister had trouble conceiving and we have almost the exact same cycle stuff going on.

FTL-PM me anytime you want. My dad cheated on my mom constantly throughout their marriage (although they are still together, again.. looooooong story) and I had serious trust issues that I had to work through. It was tough because I knew H wouldn't cheat, but like you said, it still randomly pops in your head. I really had to work through it when we were LD, so I've been there, done that, and wrote the book! Let me know if you need anything! 

YoungDuo

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[QUOTE]My Confession I have a colonoscopy tomorrow (precaution based on family history) and I'm 99.9% sure I am perfectly healthy but at the same time I am VERY anxious for a clean bill of heath tomorrow. My other confession I have been hounding H to get a Wii and now that I finally got it... I think I would have been just as happy without it :(
Posted by shan87[/QUOTE]

So funny story that will hopefully make you feel better. FI had to get one done about a year and a half ago. He said that they told him what they would be doing and just before he drifted off, he told the nurse to "be careful, it's my first time" needless to say, everyone that was in his operating room died laughing :) and on the bright side, he told me it really wasn't that bad, so GL tomorrow!

firsttimersluck

Thanks ggirl You're so sweet!
We do okay with it. I have an incredibly understanding and loving husband. He was raised with two parents that are sooo incredibly in love and stand by each other and each other's decisions and actions not matter WHAT, that it's all he knows.. And that's comforting..
Just, like you, beach, and binx mentioned.. It pops up from time to time. It's totally a self worth thing that I need to work on. I know that. I definitely have my mom's self image issues and it's gotten better and better.. especially when I hit the gym.. That is incredibly helpful to my self image. :P H makes it better too.

Oh, we women... We suck with our insecurities />_< haha

ggirl2001

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[QUOTE]Thanks ggirl :) You're so sweet! We do okay with it. I have an incredibly understanding and loving husband. He was raised with two parents that are sooo incredibly in love and stand by each other and each other's decisions and actions not matter WHAT, that it's all he knows.. And that's comforting.. Just, like you, beach, and binx mentioned.. It pops up from time to time. It's totally a self worth thing that I need to work on. I know that. I definitely have my mom's self image issues and it's gotten better and better.. especially when I hit the gym.. That is incredibly helpful to my self image. :P H makes it better too. Oh, we women... We suck with our insecurities />_< haha
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]<div>Yeah, every once in a while, when I would go a little crazy H was always good about talking to me about it and calming down my fears.But if ever H isn't around and you're having a "crazy" moment for no reason whatsoever, you can message me .  I hear ya on the mom image issues because I inherited that from my mom as well. H defiintely helps with that as well, but its something I need to do myself. 

</div>

LetsHikeToday

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[QUOTE]Thanks ggirl :) You're so sweet! We do okay with it. I have an incredibly understanding and loving husband. He was raised with two parents that are sooo incredibly in love and stand by each other and each other's decisions and actions not matter WHAT, that it's all he knows.. And that's comforting.. Just, like you, beach, and binx mentioned.. It pops up from time to time. It's totally a self worth thing that I need to work on. I know that. I definitely have my mom's self image issues and it's gotten better and better.. especially when I hit the gym.. That is incredibly helpful to my self image. :P H makes it better too. Oh, we women... We suck with our insecurities />_< haha
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

I can't bold your last sentence but it's true. I'm a 30 year old professional woman who has made an amazing name for herself at my school. I work out everyday and wear a size 10. Yet I constantly feel not good enough and ugly. When will I ever get it together??

firsttimersluck

ugh.. Idk... Man.. I'm a total wreck tonight. I just spent and hour and a half bawling my eyes out on skype.
And I feel awful because I just sooo badly want to beg H to stay up with me and talk to me because he always makes me feel better and we can talk about random little things to cheer me up.. buuuut he can't.. because he has a flight and needs to sleep. *sigh*
I'm going to go be pathetic in bed now />_<
*pity slumber party*

SamiJoeB

FTL- I'm totally having a pity party myself tonight!!  I just miss H.  We actually have gotten to talk twice tonight, but he got a little grumpy when I was like "I miss you so much!!" and he was like "You don't have to remind me.. we talked like 3 days ago.. not that big of a deal".. It was an okay conversation after that, but sometimes I just get the feeling that he's not really listening, just tolerating being on the phone.  Granted I do tend to ramble about random and pointless things, but still.. Ugh..  I cried in the shower tonight...

crownsuperstar

Sami- You are so not selfish!  I sometimes think there are three people in our marriage and I want to sometimes tell the "third" person to just get out of the way but alas it does pay the bills and is something the H loves to do.  Oh and I have been having a pitty party for one and would love some company at my table any time. 

Hike- I am the same way.  It makes it worse for me since I work on a college campus and on my "fat" days I just want to scream seeing all of these 0-2 size girls with graduation breast implants! It is really good for my self esteem on my fat days.  

Hugs to everyone it seems like we are all having a little pitty party. 

firsttimersluck

Oh samipie man I was sooooo right there with you last night. My Navy sweatshirt (the go-to sweatshirt for around the house :P ) is sooo snot-ridden today.. gross gross gross.. guess it's not my go-to shirt until after I wash it >_< I know it's okay to have those breakdown moments, but I still can't help but feel dumb doing so. I know what I got into. I told H that he is incredible in person. That he's so attentive and loving and supportive.,.. when he's home. But he needs to work on the away aspect because he is the one that chose the career and while I support his career decisions no matter what that may be over the next few years, he needs to support me in having a long distance relationship half the time. I was a little harsh.. He really is normally incredibly attentive even when gone. Deployment was a breeze, but I think the dets are only a few weeks that he feels it's not that big of a deal to not talk as much. I think I'm a little extra emotional this det because we SPECIFICALLY planned our wedding so that we woul dhave months together without a deployment. We wanted to be newlyweds and happy and together for a while, even if we don't get a HM... but then he gets sent on a det right after the wedding? sucky. blah. He gets home super soon and I'm thrilled abou that, but stil feel a little silly about being so emotional the past few days

Crown- graduations boob jobs?!! ugh... gross.. When I first met H I didn't believe him when he said that he doesn't like boob jobs at all... but he reeeeally doesn't. The guy won't watch TMI ALERT porn with girls with boob jobs. He would much rather see an A cup than a boobjob chick. Or when we're out and about and I say "wow that chick was hott" he will barely glance over before saying "veto: boobjob. nasty" Cracks me up. I think that's becoming more common with guys now. The trend is going back to all natural. I know that was a ramble (and I too hate those size 0-2's on my fat days... or lately, weeks haha) but I thought it was funny. :P

calindi

Aw, ladies, one big group hug for you all! CAB- some of FI's law school classmates are the same way. Over the last two years, we've weeded them down to the good ones. We probably hang out with only 4-5 people now, but at least we don't have to deal with that junk. I feel ya! They're the ones lacking something, not you! Hike - big hugs, lady! We're here for you, and we're gonna whoop real loud when it happens for you!!! Sami - you know how I stand on that. You are not being selfish, it seems he kind of is since he hasn't taken you into consideration at all with this decision. My confession is two-fold. One is that this vacation isn't as fun as I hoped. I hope that changes, but I'm realizing that the family dynamic has changed since FI and my brother's girlfriend are now added. It's also raining non-stop. Today so far it is okay. It's just really hard to travel in a group, everyone with their own opinions on what to do, especially as I'm the only Spanish-speaker and my Dad treats me like I am on his payroll as "translator" and "personal trip concierge". Bigger confession is that I fear I have claustrophobia. It has been a slow realization, but it makes my Dad really sad as he has had it since he was my age, and he tried to hide it from us so we wouldn't be affected. I get panic attacks sometimes, and it is usually in a plane or a car when I get motion sick and feel like I can't escape. Caffeine makes it so much worse. But I feel like I have an anxiety problem recently and would love to see a psychiatrist but I can't afford it and my insurance is crap.

crownsuperstar

First- yeah I guess in recent years that girls are getting boob jobs for HS graduation presents.  My thought is what happened to a check and a card? 

C- I am sorry your vaca is not going how you expected. 

firsttimersluck

aww Calindi I'm sorry Maybe focus on enjoying the getaway with Fi instead of the ENTIRE family stuff... Or maybe make a night where just the siblings go out together to bond a little more? Don't let the rain get you down!! Go get massages or jump in a jacuzzi )

meh... I know what you mean on the phobia... I've slowly had a couple creep up on me the past four years... It's annoying how it slooooowly sneaks up so you know you're gaining this phobia but you have no idea how to make it stop and go away   Cal are you in school right now ?I forget... You don't have to go to a psychiatrist though.. you could go to a regular doctor and explain those feelings. He can still perscribe you something to see if it helps. Do you drink a lot of coffee? I found this interesting... something to keep in mind for you to help for the time being..
http://www.anxietypanic.com/nutrition.html Also, if you have a gym or local ymca try hitting up the sauna more... I know that REALLY helps my anxiety and headaches, as much as I hate the heat.

firsttimersluck

Gross crown.. Just gross... I mean... Ok, to be fair, I'm a DD cup.. So ... I'm a little well endowed for my size... but seriously?! I don't like putting anything "fake" into my body whether that's perservatives or plastic. lol
This is so disappointing, Young girls are going to regret it come time to have kids and the swelling of the ladies hurts them. Or when they are unable to breast feed. (I know that both of those are not GIVENS, but they are common) blaaaah

crownsuperstar

First- That is what I think everytime I walk across campus.  You should see the freshman orientation.  It is like a Real Housewives show but with 18 year old girls.  It is just crazy!