Interesting Article

divinemsbee

http://jezebel.com/5883016/young-people-totally-think-theyre-infertile

I was reading this today, and it was interesting to me because I have two friends that are sisters. One really doesn't want kids and is pretty honest about it. Has her birth control squared away and everything. One really doesn't want kids and never has, but hasn't ever been to a GYN (that I know of) and has confessed to me every time she was dating a guy that she hopes she's just infertile or can get her tubes tied and lie about it because most all of the guys she's seriously dated want kids. Most likely she will always date guys who want kids because the men who line up with her values system are simply more likely to want families. I wonder sometimes if she just thinks she can wish herself to be infertile, and, it turns out, that school of thought is not uncommon.

I, on the other hand, hope that FI and I can start trying a little before the wedding, but am terrified that some sort of hand-of-God punishment will keep me from having kids.

Also, I don't know if any of you know people like this, but I know at least 2 couples who weren't married and the girl was told at a pretty early age that she was infertile for whatever reason (one was misdiagnosed PCOS) both ended up pregnant because they thought they didn't have to worry about BC. Both married quickly and were pretty young, and both have since had the kids and divorced.

Anyway, this article just came at a time that I was thinking about it and thought others might find it interesting. Thoughts?

Zimsgirl

Wow that's really interesting. I definitely want kids and worry about being infertile. My mom had trouble conceiving and had my older sister then us triplets then my younger brother lol

tyleet87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_interesting-article-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:32f9a65a-ce10-4b66-a89a-0cc8624ac698Post:59659508-1595-4d59-90d3-2ebc99181542">Re: Interesting Article</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow that's really interesting. I definitely want kids and worry about being infertile. My mom had trouble conceiving and had my older sister then us triplets then my younger brother lol
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

You're a triplet? That's so cool! :)

I don't know if I want kids. I might some long time in the future but definitely not for the next 5 years.

CozyHeart13

My cousin had triplets a couple weeks before I had my kiddo. I'm excited to see how they bond over the years, mostly cause I always wanted a twin and to have twins (or triplets). Any advice for their little brother?

firsttimersluck

I definitely want to be infertile.

That is all. 

kara811

I hate dirty deletes!!!!!!!!!

Also, I have thought of inferitility before. I get scared sometimes that I am because H and I eventually do want children. I'm hoping that everything is fine and dandy with us though when it's time to TTC! 

SamiJoeB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_interesting-article-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:32f9a65a-ce10-4b66-a89a-0cc8624ac698Post:4299828b-af0c-49c3-bb9f-c9763fa0e948">Re: Interesting Article</a>:
[QUOTE]I definitely want to be infertile. That is all. 
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

Wow.. I'm sorry but that's really insensitive and down right biitchy even.  Especially to women who want kids, but can't have them because they are infertile.  Being a mother is a gift, and it's fine for you to not want that, but don't throw that in the faces of those who have trouble TTC or flat out can't conceive.

kara811

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_interesting-article-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:32f9a65a-ce10-4b66-a89a-0cc8624ac698Post:22dece22-3680-4ecb-bc78-92782271468e">Re: Interesting Article</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Interesting Article : Wow.. I'm sorry but that's really insensitive and down right biitchy even.  Especially to women who want kids, but can't have them because they are infertile.  Being a mother is a gift, and it's fine for you to not want that, but don't throw that in the faces of those who have trouble TTC or flat out can't conceive.
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Cosigned. Also, thanks for quoting! </div><div>
</div>

Zimsgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_interesting-article-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:32f9a65a-ce10-4b66-a89a-0cc8624ac698Post:e2d045d6-acff-464b-a87e-adc48a883357">Re: Interesting Article</a>:
[QUOTE]My cousin had triplets a couple weeks before I had my kiddo. I'm excited to see how they bond over the years, mostly cause I always wanted a twin and to have twins (or triplets). Any advice for their little brother?
Posted by CozyHeart13[/QUOTE]
I'm super close to all of my siblings. My sisters and I are really close and we seriously believe in triplet telepathy.<div>
</div><div>Here's an example:</div><div>
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/5/2/551fce28-4a50-4f5c-a2c5-edb511d5d60b.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/5/2/551fce28-4a50-4f5c-a2c5-edb511d5d60b.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
</div><div>Cameron is my brother and green is me then the other one is my sister haha. Like this stuff happens a lot haha</div>

divinemsbee

For me, even though I want kids, and soon, I totally recognize that there are people who really really don't. There were a few comments on the article about women who have decided they don't want kids, and it seems that telling people they are "barren" (hate that word) is the only way to get people off their backs. And I think that's really sad that it comes to that for people who just don't want to have kids. To have to lie about your physical health so that people stop talking about it. Of course, then you'd have people telling you that you should try an invasive and hormonal procedure, so it seems you can't win.

The problem for me comes with people like my friend, and several others I've seen in the comments section of the article (I love the comment section on that site) who use or see people cling so tightly to the idea of their own infertility, even thought it's never been proven, as though if they just think that they can't have kids, it will, in fact, lead to them not having kids. Or people who have had such poor sexual education that they think that if they've had unprotected sex a few times and not gotten pregnant, then they must be infertile and therefore have unprotected sex repeatedly.  Which can lead nowhere good.

CAB1217

Infertility is a scary, scary thing and should seriously not be joked about. I meet a lot of women with this health issue and let me tell you, it's heartbreaking.

firemedicrr

FI and I definitely want kids (although we want to wait until he's a bit closer to the end of his service, and also by that time I should be completely done with school). I don't worry so much about being infertile as I do about miscarriages and genetic problems. FI's mom had a lot of problems in her pregnancies, and my mom had 2 miscarriages, a stillbirth and then 4 living children (but all of us were thankfully healthy). FI's brother has mild Asperger's syndrome (considered a high-functioning autism) and the thought of having disabled kids scares me. Don't misinterpret this, please- I know it's not the child's fault, and I don't believe in elective abortion; I do believe that God will equip us with whatever we need to raise any children we have, but the selfish part of me would choose not to have biological children if I knew we had really high odds of having a child that would never age developmentally to the point where they were self-sufficient/independent. I think it's a difficult life for the child and the parents, and if I were faced with that choice, I would probably want to adopt a child that needed a loving home. 

Back more to the topic, the article is very interesting. According to the Healthy People 2010 National Goals (it's a nursing thing), about 13 percent of married couples in the US have an impaired ability to conceive or maintain a pregnancy. They also say that somewhere between 10-15 percent of heterosexual couples in the US are infertile. It's always been interesting to me that they say about 40 percent of the time it's a female issue, 40 percent of the time it's a male issue, and 20 percent of the time it's a combination of male and female factors or "unattributable".

For anyone who is interested, Genetic defects/anomalies occur in 14 percent of newborns, and statistically, 90 percent of infants that have 3 or more minor anomalies will have one or more major anomaly. The thought of pregnancy complications really scares me, because infertility doesn't necessarily affect "my" health status as far as everyday living goes, where a pregnancy complication can jeopardize both the health of the mother and the unborn child. 

I hate the thought of possibly becoming pregnant prior to actually TTC, because then you're not able to consciously create the best environment for a healthy pregnancy (something like greater than 80 percent of women regularly use at least 1 medication/vitamins/minerals/herbal supplements/whatever) and then factor in social drinking? and the advice that women should start taking prenatal vitamins when they start TTC because of the reduced incidences of neural tube defects? 

but then, I watch "I didn't know I was pregnant" and wonder if it matters at all. lol

oh, and for anyone interested-