Want a destination.. but where to begin planning?! Setting a date?!

roggrage

Well, its official! I'm going to be a Navy Mrs. Couldn't be happier! 

I'm quickly realizing that setting a date is necessary but I'm assuming it's going to be difficult to stick to, thanks to the military.  He is going into boot at the end of July and then A school directly after... at this time - estimated he will be finished with A school by the end of November.  We are loking at possibly getting married December or January with basically- the sooner the better.  Talking about setting a date for late January as he will have been at base a bit and hopefully will be able to get leave but I do realize training comes up, etc..  my photographer has a military clause in the ontract so I'm not worried about that but travel acommadations and resorts could be another issue for ourselves and guests. What did you do in this situation? Should I brace for the worst?

We want to do destination, with just parents, siblings, and four close friends. (And guests of course)  Jamaica was originally one of my top picks but I read somewhere it can take up to 3 months to get the marriage license back and that will not work as I want to be able to move right after the wedding.  So also looking at USVI as that would be quite simple, and possibly Florida at a last resort.  Our aim was an all inclusive resort but not finding much for options in USVI so I need to do more research in regards to finding a quick and easy license process and the resort options we'd like.

Part of me just wants to get married before boot so we can do it the way we want without worrying about the military intervening. I'm a pretty simple bride and the only thing stressing me out about this is the possibility of cancellations, etc. I just want our nearest and dearest and a couple days of fun in the sun! 

I'm new at all of this. Please show me the way!

Beachy730

Congratulations, and welcome!  Navy wife here.  

TBH, I wouldn't try planning anything until he gets stationed after A school, especially if you are planning a DW.  He could end up stationed to a ship that is deployed at the time, and they could fly him out soon after checking in.  Nothing with the military is ever set in stone, and until he gets stationed somewhere you will have no idea what his schedule will be like.  

If you aren't married before he is stationed, it's likely that he will be forced to live on the ship (if he is assigned to one).  You always have the option of moving there yourself, and renting an apartment.  Even if you get married right before you get stationed, you likely won't be on his orders, so they won't pay for your move up front.  If you don't live together now, you will have to pay to move your stuff to him on your own regardless.  

I know it can get very frustrating, but I think your best bet is to wait until after he is stationed to plan anything.  Weddings can be planned within a few months.  We planned ours in less than 5 months, and could have done it much quicker if needed.  But when you are talking about a DW, you are talking about playing with a lot of people's money and vacation plans/time.  

kara811

Congrats and welcome to the boards! Navy wife here too.

I agree with dnbeach. It will be quite difficult to plan a DW, especially since your FI is just starting out in the military. I would wait until after he is stationed and have his schedule figured out yet. Not everyone gets leave after A school right now, the same with getting stationed somewhere, especially on a ship. It's harder for the new guys to have their leave approved.

Or like you said, you have the option of having the wedding before he leaves for boot camp, BUT it's always better to have experience how life is like in the military, especially going though LDR and deployments. It's a "make or break" points for some relationships.

AmandaSC1988

Hi welcome! I am a Navy Fiance and I wanted to give you a little example of "Navy Time". My fiance left for boot un June, he then went directly to A-school(P-Cola) in August. His A-school was only "60 days". This might be different if he is going to another school, because I heard P-cola was backed up the most. First he got there and had to do the pre-req classes which took I think a month(?), He then sat around waiting to  "class up" until, I want to say, beginning of November. His class started and he did that for a couple of months (taking off ten days for Christmas) and graduated middle of February.

It is kinda the, "Hurry up and wait.... oh, and while you are waiting, clean this imaginary dirt" 

PERSONALLY, I think it would be doable to plan a wedding right after A-school, you have to be flexible, but I have seen it done... However, I think a destination wedding would be nearly impossible to pull off given all the unknowns. If you really want a destination wedding I would plan for a year after he goes in...Things will be a little more settled and a whole lot less stress.