Opinions Please!!

AshleyR3

We were originally planning on getting married August 13th but recently found that my FI is going on deployment leaving in June/ July.  We have been talking about this for awhile and decided we have 3 options. We can either A) go to the JP and get the liscence out of the way and have the ceremony when he comes home next year move the wedding up to may/June or C)hope that he can get leave in August before he actually goes overseas.
 I would really love to have our wedding on the day that we wanted to have it but I have a feeling its not going to go that way, option c is dependant on where he is for trianing,and I dont really want to go to the JP before having the ceremony because I feel people will look down on us for doing so even though family members have brought it up.So that do you think? FI definatly wants to be married before he goes.

Mass-girl-at-heart

DH and I have a small wedding with the 27 people most important to our lives.   It was easy to plan and we were still able to celebrate.  I planned it in less than a month while he was at BCT in 2005.  I have never regretted out decision.

It comes down to realizing what you are willing to give up. 

kyrgyzstan

The only thing I have to say is that you're not getting the license out of the way with Option A. You'll be married.

AshleyR3

yes we know we will be married FI and I will have our ceremony and reception at a later date. That is the whole reason we would go to the JP in the first place

iluvmytxrgr

Well, it's good to know I only got the license out of the way.  I hope four years later isn't too late to have a ceremony.

shan87

Ashley people on this board have very strong opinions about JP and a later ceremony. (Just a friendly FYI, its a sensitive subject that hits strong emotions with some people) As long as you realize that your JP is when you start your marriage and are open with family and friends then go ahead with that option.
Personally, I think is completely feasible to move it up by two months and have the large ceremony at once, instead of spliting it up later.

kara811

Personally, I would go with Option B. And no, you don't just get the license "out of the way". That's your actual wedding. 

Beachy730

Please realize that there are many couples out there who only ever have a JOP wedding.  Referring to it as "getting the license out of the way" is very rude to those people.  It is a marriage, no matter how fancy or laid back it is. 

I would go with option B.  Hoping for leave is too risky for a wedding IMO.  And you should have no problem planning a wedding now for June or July.  We set our date in February of last year after getting PCS orders, and easily planned our wedding for 200 people for that July.  We planned for 5 months, and honestly it could have been done in 2 or 3 months. 

If you do go with option A, be completely open and honest with ALL of your guests.  People will be very hurt and upset if they find out you were already married and are lying to them.  And trust me, they WILL find out.

AshleyR3

I am sorry if I offended anybody I have had alot of family that have had a JP wedding.

shibbs86

From my experience, don't count on getting leave that close to deployment. I'd say have a small ceremony with closest family and friends then have a reception/party after he comes back. You could still do a small wedding and then have a vow renewal at the reception later, so you're sharing your marriage with everyone, just in a different way.

horsevaulter

I would not look down on you for getting a liscence and then having the ceremony and reception at a later date. I know that is a hot topic for the knot but you know your friends and family and how they would react to things better than we do. I know that my family would not be upset with me if my FI and I did that.. GL!