Military Brides

being strong because i know we can

Hey just wanted to say hello to everyone. my Future husband is a great man and we have been through a deployment and have been together as a couple for over a year, and best friends since we were 10. we are going to be getting married in the begining of 2012, but unfortunatly he will most likely be deployed before then, its not my fist rodeo, but i would love to hear from other women. Last time we delt with the deployment without support, but i believe hearing from others can teach us a few tricks, to becomeing a stronger couple. thank you

Proverbs 24:3-4 "By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established. And by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches."
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Re: being strong because i know we can

  • edited December 2011
    Hey!!
    I feel you! Mine is deployed right now. Our wedding is 6-2-12, he'll come home 4-20.... It's a tough road, planning this by myself for the most part... 

    But I'll tell you know, this has only made us a better couple. We've learned efficient communication bc you have to say everything at once, you never know when the next conversation is gonna come. We've learned to love from the bottom of our very beings.

    I wish you so much strength, because I know it's tough. I'd like to say "it get's easier" but it doesn't. You learn to cope though. You will always have good days and bad days. Happy days and some really sad ones. However, the day he steps off that bus will be happier than any day in your life <3
  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Samil, please take out his return date. That's a big OPSEC violation!

    As for the rest of it, I am SO psyched for FI's next deployment! He gets to go do his job, I get to watch all the crap tv I want and work towards my personal goals without feeling guilty at all!
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_being-strong-because-can?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:38ce2788-58d0-4cf5-8f39-98c370d03e1ePost:b9d8f4b8-ac7b-4058-b755-bdbede0f966c">Re: being strong because i know we can</a>:
    [QUOTE]Samil, please take out his return date. That's a big OPSEC violation! As for the rest of it<strong>, I am SO psyched for FI's next deployment! He gets to go do his job, I get to watch all the crap tv I want and work towards my personal goals without feeling guilty at all!</strong>
    Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This! FI will probably be getting deployed again soon after our wedding. I actually plan to go off BC then, so I can see how crazy I get and he won't have to deal with it. 

    </div>
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  • gabbie2287gabbie2287 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks so much Ladies i am looking foward to him doing what he does best and my finishing my degree. 
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  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I haven't been through a deployment, but after talking with these ladies, it doesn't scare me.  Just driving through the streets of Miami every day is a death-defying feat, so it can't be that much more dangerous over in the 'sandbox'!  And I think it's a good time for some 'me time' - get in shape, keep to a budget to splurge on a reunion weekend somewhere when he gets back, eat the foods he hates, visit family, spend more time with friends.  I'm sort of looking forward to his first deployment as a badge of honor as a military significant other, cuz right now I feel like a bit of a poser since we haven't been through one.  We won't have the chance until at least 2 years after we're married though since he'll be going through so much training.


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  • gabbie2287gabbie2287 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Dear Calindi 
     I'm glad you plan on working on yourself, but please dont compare the "sandbox" or deployment to driving the steets of Miami. Being a significant other takes hard work, patience, understanding and thick skin. when you finally get to go through a deployment you will have that badge of honor but please dont consider yourself a poser just because u havent have a deployment under your belt yet. being a partner of a service member is the hardest job to have in the military, and few can acually do it. so go ahead and support your troop
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_being-strong-because-can?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:38ce2788-58d0-4cf5-8f39-98c370d03e1ePost:a84c58a0-6396-45a1-8165-81b8138fa660">Re: being strong because i know we can</a>:
    [QUOTE]being a partner of a service member is the hardest job to have in the military, and few can acually do it. so go ahead and support your troop
    Posted by gabbie2287[/QUOTE]

    <div>If you want a "job" in the military, you should probably go see a recruiter. What my fiance does every day is difficult and dangerous, and I would never describe loving him as a job.</div><div>
    </div><div>I hate bumper stickers sometimes.</div>
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, being a spouse isn't the hardest job in the military by a long run.  I'd probably give that award to bomb techs, personally.  I don't know how they do what they do, but I'm glad they do it.  It might be annoying and frustrating to be a military spouse, but it's not hard.  And it's certainly not harder than what the service members are doing themselves.

    And statistically, men in the 18-29 year old age bracket do die at a higher per capita rate in the US than deployed soldiers.  A lot of that has to do with the fact that men in the military tend to be in better physical shape than civilians, so you see less obesity-related illnesses and you don't see soldiers deployed who have cancer and are on chemo.  And then you've got gang related death in that age bracket in some inner city areas that drag down the domestic percentages, too.  And car accidents, drug related deaths, etc. But still - it is technically more dangerous to live in the US than be deployed.  Statistically speaking.

    And I was being a bit facetious with the 'poser' bit - it's just that most couples are told around here that it's recommended to go through a deployment before getting married if at all possible because some chicks can't handle it and end up cheating on their spouses and stealing all their money before their service member gets back.  And that happens A LOT!  I actually tend to think it's the martyrs who think they're giving up so much to be a military spouse, and that being a military spouse is the hardest job, blah blah blah.  It breeds a feeling of entitlement, and then they feel abandoned, and that their spouse just doesn't understand how hard it is for them back home, blah blah blah.   Not healthy thinking.

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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_being-strong-because-can?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:38ce2788-58d0-4cf5-8f39-98c370d03e1ePost:a84c58a0-6396-45a1-8165-81b8138fa660">Re: being strong because i know we can</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear Calindi   I'm glad you plan on working on yourself, but please dont compare the "sandbox" or deployment to driving the steets of Miami. Being a significant other takes hard work, patience, understanding and thick skin. when you finally get to go through a deployment you will have that badge of honor but please dont consider yourself a poser just because u havent have a deployment under your belt yet.<strong> being a partner of a service member is the hardest job to have in the military, and few can acually do it.</strong> so go ahead and support your troop
    Posted by gabbie2287[/QUOTE]

    Are you kidding me?  As a former SM and the spouse of a deployed AD SM, that statement is complete BS.  Taking care of my 4 kids, keeping the house, playing on the beach and relaxing with a beer isn't shyt compared to MH getting friggin shot at every dang night, sleeping on a plastic bed, roasting is butt off in 140* heat and having to avoid getting blown up every time he drives down a street.  Friggin A!
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  • gabbie2287gabbie2287 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

     

    I apologize if I offended  anyone please I meant no harm in my post I did not mean that to say what the men and women who are out there don’t have the hardest job and being with the man or woman you love is an occupation. I didn’t express what I wanted to say clearly, but thank you for correcting my speech I will endeavor to do better when I post a comment so what I say won’t offend and will properly share my thoughts. I am sorry, please offer any suggestions on how to better phrase myself, I don’t wish to insult anyone.


     

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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_being-strong-because-can?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:38ce2788-58d0-4cf5-8f39-98c370d03e1ePost:ba8ad988-5c14-41fd-a2d1-7936c430c597">Re: being strong because i know we can</a>:
    [QUOTE]  I apologize if I offended  anyone please I meant no harm in my post I did not mean that to say what the men and women who are out there don’t have the hardest job and being with the man or woman you love is an occupation. I didn’t express what I wanted to say clearly, but thank you for correcting my speech I will endeavor to do better when I post a comment so what I say won’t offend and will properly share my thoughts. I am sorry, please offer any suggestions on how to better phrase myself, I don’t wish to insult anyone.  
    Posted by gabbie2287[/QUOTE]

    <div>You were just quoting one of the hundred bumper stickers or t-shirts you've probably seen.  The thing is, the only people who think that statement is true are the spouses who think the world owes them everything because they are married to a SM.  I think that phrase or title is a joke, and I'll use it to mess around with H when I don't want to do something, and say "hey, i have the toughest job in the military, I think you owe it to me to clean the kitchen."  </div>
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  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I've never understood how being a spouse is the hardest job. Um,I'm not the one who is away from family and friends for months at a time. I'm just missing him. He is missing EVERYONE. Pretty sure just taking that into account makes it harder for him. When you throw in the danger of the job that makes it 10x more difficult. Granted, I'm lucky since FI is deployed somewhere there is no danger, this time, but that can change next time. 
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  • kara811kara811 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_being-strong-because-can?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:38ce2788-58d0-4cf5-8f39-98c370d03e1ePost:a84c58a0-6396-45a1-8165-81b8138fa660">Re: being strong because i know we can</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear Calindi   I'm glad you plan on working on yourself, but please dont compare the "sandbox" or deployment to driving the steets of Miami. Being a significant other takes hard work, patience, understanding and thick skin. when you finally get to go through a deployment you will have that badge of honor but please dont consider yourself a poser just because u havent have a deployment under your belt yet. <strong>being a partner of a service member is the hardest job to have in the military, and few can acually do it.</strong> so go ahead and support your troop
    Posted by gabbie2287[/QUOTE]

    <div>I guess being able to do what I want, eat delicious foods, not being on a ship floating the ocean for months while working in a HOT plant, getting to have a full nights sleep is the already the toughest job in the military? H teases me about trading places with him, sometimes I even tell him "I would love to." I would never say that statement you made. </div>
  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    loving my SO is not harder than the SGT he works with. I LOVE loving him and would never think it was a job. I would think him loving me and dealing with my sh!t would be wayyyy harder. Especially with me getting ready to enlist
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_being-strong-because-can?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:38ce2788-58d0-4cf5-8f39-98c370d03e1ePost:92b5812f-a9e8-4c12-a29a-cd4d3f807551">Re: being strong because i know we can</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, being a spouse isn't the hardest job in the military by a long run.  I'd probably give that award to <strong>bomb techs</strong>, personally.  I don't know how they do what they do, but I'm glad they do it.  It might be annoying and frustrating to be a military spouse, but it's not hard.  And it's certainly not harder than what the service members are doing themselves. And statistically, men in the 18-29 year old age bracket do die at a higher per capita rate in the US than deployed soldiers.  A lot of that has to do with the fact that men in the military tend to be in better physical shape than civilians, so you see less obesity-related illnesses and you don't see soldiers deployed who have cancer and are on chemo.  And then you've got gang related death in that age bracket in some inner city areas that drag down the domestic percentages, too.  And car accidents, drug related deaths, etc. But still - it is technically more dangerous to live in the US than be deployed.  Statistically speaking. And I was being a bit facetious with the 'poser' bit - it's just that most couples are told around here that it's recommended to go through a deployment before getting married if at all possible because some chicks can't handle it and end up cheating on their spouses and stealing all their money before their service member gets back.  And that happens A LOT!  I actually tend to think it's the martyrs who think they're giving up so much to be a military spouse, and that being a military spouse is the hardest job, blah blah blah.  It breeds a feeling of entitlement, and then they feel abandoned, and that their spouse just doesn't understand how hard it is for them back home, blah blah blah.   Not healthy thinking.
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Are you talking about EODs?

    </div>
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_being-strong-because-can?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:38ce2788-58d0-4cf5-8f39-98c370d03e1ePost:be81bb6b-d245-486f-a322-d8fac3327ad1">Re: being strong because i know we can</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: being strong because i know we can : Are you talking about EODs?
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

    Weren't you going away and never coming back?

    I don't know the technical term - I meant people who dress in big protective suits and try to defuse bombs by hand.  What made me think of it was reading an article a few weeks ago (that I can't find now) about a couple who met in bomb tech school (whatever it's called) and got married, and she ended up getting killed and he still does it.  Very sad, and very heroic.

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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_being-strong-because-can?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:38ce2788-58d0-4cf5-8f39-98c370d03e1ePost:64b19ddb-c39d-4253-867e-9203005e352f">Re: being strong because i know we can</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: being strong because i know we can : Weren't you going away and never coming back? I don't know the technical term - I meant people who dress in big protective suits and try to defuse bombs by hand.  What made me think of it was reading an article a few weeks ago (that I can't find now) about a couple who met in bomb tech school (whatever it's called) and got married, and she ended up getting killed and he still does it.  Very sad, and very heroic.
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
    I lerk and come and go.<div>
    </div><div>That is really cool. If you find it will you post it?</div><div>
    </div><div>I Future brother in law is in EOD school. It is very scary. He loves what he does though. I have more repect for him than I do for anyone else in the military</div>
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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