Why do I even try...

ArmyofUs

I'm trying to like my FBIL, I really am...but he makes it soooo hard.  He's a Marine, but I don't hold that against him (lol, my Fi and I are both Army vets).  We were talking about military life and he turned to me and said "You don't know what real military life is like because you're female.  Why do they even allow women to join?"  Excuse me?  I busted my ass in the Army. What right has he to tell me that?  Please...help me figure out a way to not kill him.

Beachy730

I'm a bitch, so I would just say something back like "well luckily the people who matter in the military aren't as sexist as you."  

calindi

Yikes... yeah that's a tough one to let slide.  I guess to some extent, you've got to decide what role you want to play.  And really, your FI needs to stick up for you!  What's his relationship like with his brother?  What does he say when this jerk says junk like this to you (or even in general)?

Truth be told, you don't have to like your FBIL, you both just have to find a way to get along.  And your FI needs to make it clear that speaking to you disrespectfully like that isn't going to be tolerated.

But I'm kind of with DNBeach... if he said something like that to me, I'd say, "Listen, how about you can the sexist macho bullsh*t and I'll try to refrain from calling you a dumbass knuckle-dragger who has a God complex, k?  Women have died serving their country just as men have, and they've spent time away from their loved ones on deployment just like you.  You aren't special because you carry a gun and wear a uniform.  You don't have to like having women in the service, but there are quite a few women higher ranked than you, both in the Marines and other branches, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't take too kindly to your words either.  So keep your sexist opinions to yourself and we'll get along just fine."

ArmyofUs

My Fi doesn't like his brother at all.  He has the same opinions about him.  The reason neither of us really flipped out is FILs think that FBIL walks on water.  He's perfect and so is his wife, while Fi and I are nothing.  We were at their house and arguing with him there does nothing but get everyone to be pissed at us...usually me more than Fi because I can't keep my mouth shut.

Beachy730

Well if that's how he treats you both, and the parents think it's perfectly acceptable as well, I would be spending as little time as possible with them.  And I know H would feel the same way.  

kyrgyzstan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_even-try?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:3f54e970-a330-4536-b528-076a81ce24cfPost:b9c0748e-08a6-4e0c-b468-53c541a6e090">Why do I even try...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm trying to like my FBIL, I really am...but he makes it soooo hard.  He's a Marine, but I don't hold that against him (lol, my Fi and I are both Army vets).  We were talking about military life and he turned to me and said "You don't know what real military life is like because you're female.  Why do they even allow women to join?"  Excuse me?  I busted my ass in the Army. What right has he to tell me that?  Please...help me figure out a way to not kill him.
Posted by ArmyofUs[/QUOTE]

<div>Ugh, what a tool. That's when I would (if I were you) start making fun of his ASVAB score or something. When I was a bartender, there were guys (junior enlisted 03s generally, or wannabe 03s) who would give me such crap about wanting to join the MC. "Blah, blah, blah, the Air Wing [I originally wanted to be a pilot] is not the real MC", etc. So I'd say, "Yeah, it's super rough getting such great test scores that the MC sees more value in me than my right index finger."</div><div>
</div><div>I would never, ever say anything like that to a guy who's not being a prick though. I'm sure, when and if I join, I'll hear lots of crap. I find ASVAB jokes to be the easiest. But I'm sure there are others.</div><div>
</div><div>I'm with the other ladies though. Don't hang out with that side unless you have to, or even cut them out. They don't sound like great people.</div>