Military Brides

I Want Your Sex

 Opinions, that is. I have to ask, and anyone is welcome to say that I'm going entirely too far, but how do you guys do it? I mean, the long distances for lengths of time thing. I'm not asking for specifics so much as a general idea. Now that I went from seeing FI in a few days to seeing him at the earliest in a month-ish, I'm looking for advice (and commiseration). The whole while he's gone you can get a hobby. lose weight, read more, find a job thing is great, but doesn't everyone miss a lot of physical touch?

In good news I've found a great photog who is the husband of the daughter of my Mom's best friend who will do our pics for a great rate. Woohoo. Also, the daughter and her Mom are chomping at the bit to help my Mom out on wedding planning, and I'll take all the help I can get.
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Re: I Want Your Sex

  • kara811kara811 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Are you asking specifically about physical interaction/sex or just how to deal being LDR?

    H and I spend a lot of time on the phone together. He calls me before work, emails me during the day, and calls me afterwork before I go to sleep. We talk about everything, retell each other how the day went by. This makes us feel as if we are there as well knowing what each other are up to. 

    On his days off, we do video chat(Skype/Yahoo). I love doing this since we get to see each other. Sometimes we spend hours like that, we even eat in front of each other on webcam. 

    That is great that you found a photog with a great rate! Nice check! 
  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    To clarify, as I realize I wasn't, more about dealing with the LDR part as how it plays into the lack of physical relations. We normally saw each other every 6-8 weeks, but now the last time I saw him was April. It's a disappointment thing especially as now it is put off just a little more.
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  • kara811kara811 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Where is your FI stationed? H has been stationed in Japan for 3 years now, so I understand the frustrations not being able to see them for months at a time. I've been through disappointments of my meeting him getting pushed back as well.

    As far as physical relations, don't be afraid to talk about it. Be open about it with your FI. H and I talk about everything. Anything and everything is out in the open. Tell him how much you miss him, his touch, hugs, kisses. It's comforting knowing those things. And like I said, video chat is a great thing. It's nice to see them while you're talking to them. 

    And when you're together, be sure to enjoy every minute of it. Be as physical with him for as much as you want. It might be TMI, but after long months without the other, H and I just love to keep to ourselves, especially in the bedroom. Are you giving each other presents for the wedding? I surprised H with a photobook and CD of my boudoir photoshoot. He loves it! 
  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We have video chat dates.  Also, many times, one of us will start an email about a fantasy.  We send it back and forth with each of us taking turns writing a paragraph or two about the story.  It's really pretty fun and interesting. 
    We just try to find ways to keep conected.  Be creative. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_want-sex?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:44e10703-ed64-4f9e-a065-5163a63a9b60Post:1be02cc8-efa8-45de-9038-68d13b070b76">Re: I Want Your Sex</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have video chat dates.  Also, many times, one of us will start an email about a fantasy.  We send it back and forth with each of us taking turns writing a paragraph or two about the story.  It's really pretty fun and interesting.  We just try to find ways to keep conected.  <strong>Be creative. </strong>
    Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]
    We skyped all the time and did emails like that. I like your advice about being creative. There are definitely many ways to still stay connected even intimately. 
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We haven't been apart all that long compared to some, but we did do long distance for 6 months when he first started law school and he's away now (but comes back tomorrow!!!!) so we've probably gone a few months at a time without seeing each other or having sex. But we'll send cutesy texts, or sexual ones, and rather graphic emails about what we'd like to do when we see each other (or reminding the other about a particularly awesome moment that already happened, like "Remember that time we...?"). We Skype (or more often, Gmail chat with video) and sometimes I'll strip on camera for him. I always feel a little goofy doing it, but it's all in fun and he loves it. I have been taking pole dancing and chair dancing classes (it's a fitness club, I'm not contemplating that profession!) so I'll give him a little show. I also tend to take care of myself regularly, if you get my drift, and I'm sure he does, too. I have a few toys, though my tried and true is just a little waterproof buzzer bullet that I keep in the shower. Cost me like $8 and worth every penny. Other that that, you just wait. I sort of just sexually hibernate, I guess. And remember that the reunion sex is worth the wait. Holy crud, when I went up to visit him at PI and we hadn't seen each other in almost two months, I thought I was in heaven. It was soooooo good! Toe curling good. Okay tomorrow has to hurry up and get here already!!!!

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    Anniversary

  • edited December 2011
    Like iluvmytx mentioned, we had tw different e-mails going while he was deployed. fb e-mails were for daily conversation, how we're feeling, any news, etc. hotmail/gmail/whatever e-mail was for "intimate talks" only. We started out by asking a few questions back and forth, and then they become looong e-mails of history, fantasy, etc. It was a completely different way to get to know him because sometimes it's easier explaining something via writing,rather than face-to-face. 
    Also, lots of pictures. haha... Especially when he would buy a couple outfits or something online a Fredericks or Adam and Eve or something and I wouldn't know it... So I would get a little surprise in the mail, and he would get a few suprises in his inbox :P 

    And, of course, Skype is great for intimacy. 
    It's hard because fi and I are VERY physical... but the e-mails I think were the biggest help because it let us get to know each other on a new level, while keeping the heat in and making us look more and more forward to getting our hands on each other. :) 
  • edited December 2011
    FTL has great ideas about Skype and advise all around.
    DH started dating when he was in Quantico, then he moved to North Carolina. I think I can count on my hands how many time we've seen each other on a Wednesday! Skype chats are the best! We would set up chat dates for everything from just having dinner together, reading, and of course more intimate stuff. At first I was apprehensive, but eventually got REALLY into it! He is totally into lingerie, and will send me little outfits in the mail! 
    We have little "code" words, that make things secret for just the two of us. 
    Having a LDR has really opened up the level of communication betweeen us. We use every means to stay in contact. Like Kara mentioned be open about everything! Being able to talke openly about basic stuff really made me comforable to talk about sex, what I want, and what he likes. The bedroom is rockin'!! 
    I did boudioir photos for DH! I was so nervous, but I knew he would love it.... and he did!! 
    This thread was fun... and I got some new ideas about how to keep the LDR sizzlin' :)
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  • edited December 2011
    C- your post made me LOL for like 5 minutes. You are too funny.

    I mostly keep myself busy and now thanks to C I have a ton of wonderful romance novels to keep my mind occupied!! H and I are such prudes.. haha, We don't talk about how much we miss each other, because at this point, we've been apart more than we've been together in the last few years, and the missing each other is just a given. It's like if we talk about it it makes time go that much slower!! We skype so we can see each other (we've even fallen asleep on Skype).  Sadly, I think H and I are just really used to our non-existant sex lives..
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    Sami - read him some of the passages from the romance novels that you like.  See how that goes! Haha - I've read romance novels out loud to FI forever.  Even before we were dating, I had a bunch of friends over my apartment and they started teasing me for reading them, so I grabbed one off the bookshelf and started reading a particularly pornographic part out loud.  Everyone laughed but two of the girls have since started reading romance novels!!!  And shortly after FI became my BF, so I guess he was intrigued.  And he asks me to read him passages sometimes when he sees me reading romance novels. But it would be one way to 'talk dirty' without having to actually do it yourself, ya know?


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    Anniversary

  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You guys are just awesome. And now I want a boudoir photo shoot because that sounds so cool! We've been living apart since last October, but we're really lucky that we've been able to see each other on the semi-regular until this summer. So I have enormous respect for you girls who are going for the real long hauls. Oh, and we must all sing the praises of Skype (fo realz), what did we do without it?

    Cal-I hope tomorrow hurries up for your sake!
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Just an FYI - if you're emailing to a military email address, any and all pictures you send are looked at by a third party.  So just know that if you're emailing naked or provocative pics, you're FI/H isn't the only one seeing them.  
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • lyonstmlyonstm member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_want-sex?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:44e10703-ed64-4f9e-a065-5163a63a9b60Post:41c75996-7027-482d-a8d7-618289c0e238">I Want Your Sex</a>:
    [QUOTE] Opinions, that is. I have to ask, and anyone is welcome to say that I'm going entirely too far, but how do you guys do it? I mean, the long distances for lengths of time thing. I'm not asking for specifics so much as a general idea. Now that I went from seeing FI in a few days to seeing him at the earliest in a month-ish, I'm looking for advice (and commiseration). The whole while he's gone you can get a hobby. lose weight, read more, find a job thing is great, but doesn't everyone miss a lot of physical touch? In good news I've found a great photog who is the husband of the daughter of my Mom's best friend who will do our pics for a great rate. Woohoo. Also, the daughter and her Mom are chomping at the bit to help my Mom out on wedding planning, and I'll take all the help I can get.
    Posted by divinemsbee[/QUOTE]


    Girl, I know your feeling.  I have been with my BF going on ten months now.  9 of them have been long distance.  I am in San Antonio TX  (Fort Sam houston) and he is in Columbia, SC (Fort Jackson) as a Drill Sergeant.  We see eachother every six to eight weeks.  This time I get to see him after about four weeks only because I failed Pharmacology and had to be recycled so I have nothing to do until August.

    Besides, the phone calls, cards, and gifts in the mail I really think that....

    SKYPE has helped keeo our relationship going.  I kid you not.  Sometimes we would just be online while I studied and he watched TV so it felt like he was there.  As far as physical contact is concerned, I totally understand too.  Because its hard on you that he can't be there for you on the tough days amongst other "physical" needs :wink:..Other than the OBVIOUS alternates until you get to see your boo again (LOL) I would suggest you keep busy.  My keeping busy is what is keeping my mind from idling.  And, waiting on all his phone calls because you have nothing to do will weigh on you so I definitely recommend you find something to fill up your time.

    Long distance relationships are very hard, but all the while worth it if you're with the right person!! Good luck lady!
  • edited December 2011
    haha yes. definitely don't send pics to a military e-mail.. and even regular youwill always run risks just because the internet public even when you're at the most private of areas :P

    I want a b-shoot tooooo!
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