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No date :P

My fiance is in MOS school for the Marine Corps right now. He's being deployed before the end of the year and we are planning to get married before he leave during his pre-deployment leave. Problem is, we have no idea when that is going to be. 
My job is to basically plan an entire wedding without a date so that when I find out when he'll be home (most likely about a month in advance, if that) I can just book like crazy. How on earth do I plan a wedding without a date and on a tight budget, no less?!
On top of that, we've only known eachother for 9 months and have about 2 pictures of us together and no way of taking more before the wedding...how do we announce our wedding without any photographs? Got some ideas? Please, let's hear it!
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Re: No date :P

  • First of all, take a big deep breath!

    You sond like you're in the exact situation as I am, or was, rather. While I have known my fiance for a few years, we have only been dating 9 months (My roommate/best friend/MOH is his sister). By the wedding comes, we will have been together for a year.

    He is away while I am home. We had no idea when he would be home, however somehow, my mom and I were able to plan the entire wedding. Get a military clause on whatever you can, in the event that he is not able to be home at the time you try to decide. Get your best rough estimate on the date.

    Is there anyway you can have the wedding after he comes home from deployment? They generally have a large block of time off after that time. Or, would it be possible to have a moe low key ceremony with both of your close family and friends in someone's backyard with a small reception or dinner at a restaurant with those few people? After he comes home from deployment you could then have a larger vow renewal with everyone you would have loved to have had at your big day. That way, you can have plenty of time to plan the day of your dreams and can take a bit of a breather.

    Just some ideas! :)
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2012
    I would plan for about 6 months after his deployment. That gives you both plenty of time to readjust, and it gives you literally the best distraction from his deployment of all time. H and I were married before his current deployment, and it is really, really not easy to send away your new husband, and H and I have both been through deployments (well, I have on the homefront) and are old people. All of your H's seniors will tell him not to get married on that leave, and there's a reason all their advice will be the same. Because it genuinely is not a good idea to do so. A lot of units in the Marine Corps are now requiring an all ranks premarital checklist, which includes a signoff by multiple people, and you can't get married without it (well, you can, but the SM gets in trouble). I think it's basically the greatest thing ever.

    ETA: And if your FI wants to make sure you're taken care of financially in the worst case scenario, please page me. I can help you and him figure out how to update his RED. It's very simple, and you don't have to be married to be his 1st casualty notification, or to be the recipient of his life insurance. 
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited April 2012
    Stan is very wise, listen to her. I think planning for after is probably a better idea, especially if you want the whole big wedding thing. And that's what it sounds like from how you were writing about getting everything together. Wait, and have the wedding you really want. While my FI isn't deployed, he is TDY and has been for 3 months. Planning has been the best thing ever to focus on while he's gone. Also, you can be put onto most of his papers as his beneficiary and he can get you a POA while he's gone and you can be his emergency contact. 

    I didn't know about that checklist thing for the Marines, but I do think it's awesome. 

    As far as pictures go, my FI and I have been together almost 4 years and we have maybe 5 pictures of us together, none of which are very good. We're just not people who document everything by photograph. While we may do some pics when he gets back, in a way it seems silly. I do love engagement pics, and I've seen some great ones, but I don't know if they're for us, especially in terms of money this close to the wedding. You don't need pictures to announce your wedding, and not all STDs have to be photos (not knocking ones that are, just saying they don't have to be). I'll admit it's a little harder making my website without them, but I'm doing okay. 
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  • I would also wait until after the deployment. It's your first one and, I'm guessing, sending him away only weeks or even days after you get married will just make the whole thing more difficult for you. Plus you'll have something to keep you busy. I haven't had something to keep me busy for the first few months of this deployment and I can't tell you enough how much easier it is when you have something to occupy your time.
    [IMG]http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l630/SammyN0709/your-ecards.jpg[/IMG]
  • Stan is wise. It is definitely also easier to plan for after the deployment. You have a better understanding of schedules.

    But, I have a question, does he know what duty station he is going to already and he knows when he is going to deploy? I know when my FI was at school, he didn't have a clue until he got to his duty station. 
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  • Also, i just stalked your 4 other posts, and I have a question. Are you military too? It seemed like that in one of your posts, but I'm not sure. 
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  • In Response to Re: No date :P:
    [QUOTE]Also, i just stalked your 4 other posts, and I have a question. Are you military too? It seemed like that in one of your posts, but I'm not sure. 
    Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

    She says so. Nay, that's even more of a reason to wait. H and I were planning on being a dual service couple from the beginning, and we really, really wanted to make sure that was something we both could handle. I'm now in the application process for Marine Corps OCS, and I am so, so glad we took our time to get married, even if it means I'm John McCain's age now. Our relationship grew so solid over the 3 years we waited to get married, and we had 3 years to get jerked around by the Marine Corps (I say that lovingly, because I <3 the MC), and we were able to roll with it. I think if we had gotten married sooner, my application would have been accepted, maybe I'd even be an O by now, but my marriage would have already failed. 
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • I ditto the advice to listen to stan's wisdom; it's good advice no matter what, but especially good because it sounds like you are in a similar situation wanting to be dual mil couple. 

    I think it would also be good to give your relationship a little more time if you've only known each other for 6 months. I can't tell from how you worded your post if you knew him for long before you started dating or not.... it's much better to wait and deal with the deployment and use wedding planning as a distraction then it would be to settle for possibly less of a wedding than you wanted, have to deal with sending your new H away, and then deal with a deployment as a newly married couple. I know it can be done (there are ladies here who have sent there new H's away), but I think that it is also nice to not have to deal with that level of hardship if you know ahead of time what's coming and can wait. 

    Like the others have said, there are steps you can both take to be sure you're taken care of if something terrible happens (and I pray it won't!). 

    Wecome to the boards :)
    wedding1 Anniversary
  • In Response to Re: No date :P:
    [QUOTE]Stan is wise. It is definitely also easier to plan for after the deployment. You have a better understanding of schedules. But, I have a question, does he know what duty station he is going to already and he knows when he is going to deploy? I know when my FI was at school, he didn't have a clue until he got to his duty station. 
    Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

    The unit his orders are for is stationed where his MOS school is. That's why he knows about the deployment and such. Otherwise, he wouldn't have a clue. He isn't sure of the date or his deployment, he just knows that it's going to be before the end of this year.
  • In Response to Re: No date :P:
    [QUOTE]Also, i just stalked your 4 other posts, and I have a question. Are you military too? It seemed like that in one of your posts, but I'm not sure. 
    Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

    I was enlisted but I recently got disqualified and discharged due to an injury, so it made our situation a little bit easier. Now we only have to work around his military schedule and not mine as well. If I hadn't gotten discharged I'd be leaving for boot camp on May 21st and we wouldn't even be talking about a wedding yet. just the fact that we were engaged.
  • Ciara: You need to delete or edit your post ASAP as it is violating OPSEC BIG TIME. 
  • I think people from other boards randomly say "hey go post something about wanting a 'real' wedding on MB" and watch the girls' heads pop off. 
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  • In Response to Re: No date :P:
    [QUOTE]Ciara: You need to delete or edit your post ASAP as it is violating OPSEC BIG TIME. 
    Posted by kara811[/QUOTE]

    Took care of it ;)
  • Back to OP, I would then consider waiting until after his deployment. That way you won't feel rushed, you have time to plan, and will have a better idea of time frames. If he wants to make sure you are "taken care of" (i put that in quotes because i hate that phrase for some reason), you don't need to be married to have that. 

    I waited until after my H's deployment to get married. I got to have the wedding I wanted, and it was amazing. I had something to do while he was gone, we experienced a deployment together and handled that. I would recommend this to pretty much anyone. 
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  • I thank god im no bridezilla. Im so sorry i didnt know there were codes on this damn site. Smh. Wat did i say? Lmao..
  • AmandaSC1988AmandaSC1988 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited April 2012
    In Response to Re: No date :P:
    [QUOTE]I thank god im no bridezilla. Im so sorry i didnt know there were codes on this damn site. Smh. Wat did i say? Lmao..
    Posted by ciarahkyles[/QUOTE]

    Not this site.... life in general. I did not see what you posted...but
    There are people out there....bad people...simply put that want to KILL your H (mine too).  That is why we are fighting in a war. These people aren't stupid, they can navigate the interwebs just as well if not better than you or I.  So if they see dates and times of possible movements it would not be very hard to stage an attack.
    I love my H... and many of the women here feel the same way about their own H/FI/BF. We must protect them just like they are protecting us.
    Photobucket
  • Ok, you seriously think its a smart idea to put your husbands deployment dates on a very public military board? Again, it's for your protection, and has nothing to do with "bridezillas" lol! Blast your H all over the place if you want from now on. Clearly you don't care about the rules of the military that you should already know about.
  • In Response to Re: No date :P:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: No date :P : She says so. Nay, that's even more of a reason to wait. H and I were planning on being a dual service couple from the beginning, and we really, really wanted to make sure that was something we both could handle. I'm now in the application process for Marine Corps OCS, and I am so, so glad we took our time to get married, even if it means I'm John McCain's age now. Our relationship grew so solid over the 3 years we waited to get married, and we had 3 years to get jerked around by the Marine Corps (I say that lovingly, because I <3 the MC), and we were able to roll with it. I think if we had gotten married sooner, my application would have been accepted, maybe I'd even be an O by now, but my marriage would have already failed. 
    Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]

    I was enlisted but I got disqualified and discharged due to an injury. So I'm just working now and we won't have to work around two military schedules. Just his. 
  • In Response to Re:No date :P:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No date :P:In Response to Re: No date :P : She says so. Nay, that's even more of a reason to wait. H and I were planning on being a dual service couple from the beginning, and we really, really wanted to make sure that was something we both could handle. I'm now in the application process for Marine Corps OCS, and I am so, so glad we took our time to get married, even if it means I'm John McCain's age now. Our relationship grew so solid over the 3 years we waited to get married, and we had 3 years to get jerked around by the Marine Corps I say that lovingly, because I lt;3 the MC, and we were able to roll with it. I think if we had gotten married sooner, my application would have been accepted, maybe I'd even be an O by now, but my marriage would have already failed.nbsp;Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stanI was enlisted but I got disqualified and discharged due to an injury. So I'm just working now and we won't have to work around two military schedules. Just his.nbsp; Posted by nay93[/QUOTE]

    I stand by my earlier advice to wait until 6 months after the deployment.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • In Response to Re:No date :P:
    [QUOTE]Ok, you seriously think its a smart idea to put your husbands deployment dates on a very public military board? Again, it's for your protection, and has nothing to do with "bridezillas" lol! Blast your H all over the place if you want from now on. Clearly you don't care about the rules of the military that you should already know about.
    Posted by CAB1217[/QUOTE]


    CLEARLY im new to this CLEARLY didnt think it was tht bad but CLEARLY I will stay far away.from these message boards so i wont blast! Lol my H( is tht how it goes?) Info. So instead of going off into the deep in! Im going to stay calm. The only thing i WILL say is my bad for breaking rules. AND THATS IT.
  • In Response to Re:No date :P:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:No date :P : CLEARLY im new to this CLEARLY didnt think it was tht bad but CLEARLY I will stay far away.from these message boards so i wont blast! Lol my H( is tht how it goes?) Info. So instead of going off into the deep in! Im going to stay calm. The only thing i WILL say is my bad for breaking rules. AND THATS IT.
    Posted by ciarahkyles[/QUOTE]
    Dude, she'd the mod. Remain calm, and learn from your mistake.
    image
  • In Response to Re:No date :P:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:No date :P:Ok, you seriously think its a smart idea to put your husbands deployment dates on a very public military board? Again, it's for your protection, and has nothing to do with "bridezillas" lol! Blast your H all over the place if you want from now on. Clearly you don't care about the rules of the military that you should already know about.Posted by CAB1217
    CLEARLY im new to this CLEARLY didnt think it was tht bad but CLEARLY I will stay far away.from these message boards so i wont blast! Lol my H is tht how it goes? Info. So instead of going off into the deep in! Im going to stay calm. The only thing i WILL say is my bad for breaking rules. AND THATS IT. Posted by ciarahkyles[/QUOTE
    So you're mad because you called us bridezillas and we explained to you why you were way wrong. Got it.
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  • Really being new to this has nothing to do with not knowing PERSEC and OPSEC. It's all pretty much common sense that you shouldn't post that stuff. Like CAB said, did you REALLY think posting that stuff was a good idea? Did you think about it before you posted for that matter? Always, always think about what info you're posting before you put it out there.
    [IMG]http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l630/SammyN0709/your-ecards.jpg[/IMG]
  • Omg are you fuucking kidding me right now? Who talks like shes angry but LoLs?? Are you 5? And FFS, OPSEC should be the one thing you know if you're a military spouse.
  • I find it hilarious. Calm down Ciara, we look out for each other here. And I was looking out for you. If you don't like it, then try weddingbee. You're lucky, you've gotten off easy around here. Good luck with your PPD.
  • Oh, and plus... they're not MY rules, or even THE KNOT rules. CLEARLY they're the Miltary's rules. CLEARLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY.












    Clearly.
  • awww Amanda, love the new sig!!
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  • I like this one too....



    Someone needs to make that into a blunt card...so many possibilities.


    Irish - Thanks! It's my favorite so far from the 10 that I have from the wedding. I was being an AW for a while because it wouldn't resize and had a giant siggy picture. Ha!
    Photobucket
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