Am I Being too Inflexible?

meggiemae85

DH and I had a JOP wedding before he deployed and are having a "big" wedding when he comes back. We just did our taxes and he wants me to use the return to pay  up some debts so we can get them paid off sooner.

I have always wanted to get married in the spring time. I found the perfect venue and I want to book the date now because we may not get the month I want if I don't go ahead and book it with that money. But since we are already married does it really matter? Technically I didn't get the date I wanted anyways (because we did the JOP wedding) and I was still perfectly happy to marry him. I really don't know what to do.

shan87

All I am going to say is - that return is now your money and you will both have to agree how you want to spend it on, whatever that may be.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_amy-being-inflexible?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:506ebe10-ab6c-4e56-ba53-8029f6201489Post:eb051047-6559-49ed-8dbb-b1f75809bd31">Am I Being too Inflexible?</a>:
[QUOTE]DH and I had a JOP wedding before he deployed and are having a "big" wedding when he comes back. We just did our taxes and he wants me to use the return to pay  up some debts so we can get them paid off sooner.<strong> I have always wanted to get married in the spring time</strong>. I found the perfect venue and I want to book the date now because we may not get the month I want if I don't go ahead and book it with that money. But since we are already married does it really matter? Technically I didn't get the date I wanted anyways (because we did the JOP wedding) and I was still perfectly happy to marry him. I really don't know what to do.
Posted by meggiemae85[/QUOTE]

You're already married.

And what Shan said about the return.

Also, it's your life and you'll do what you want, but personally if we had a lot of debt, I wouldn't be going into more debt just to have my PPD when I'm already married.  Why not just pay off the debt and wait a few more years and do a vow renewal?

bltata

I think that since you are already technically married, paying off the debt is more important than a "big wedding." 

The month the party is in is not that important.  Your financial stability is.

kara811

Your husband is wise with choosing to pay off the debt first, you can always save up and have your vow renewal later since you're already married. You are husband and wife now, you both need to sit down and talk about the way you'll be handling your finances. Compromise is always the key. 

ScissortailFlycatcher

Diito what the other ladies said.

Listen to your husband, he sounds smart. A compromise could be paying down/off your dept or CC with the highest interest rate or amount and saving a little for the reception later. It's always good to put some of money into savings.

9934291

This is what my fiance and I are doing. We are having a JOP wedding in March, and then a Reception and such in August. However, he and I aren't in debt. I would deffinitely suggest paying off all of your debt first. Weddings are expensive, and could jsut cause more debt for the two of you. :[ 

meggiemae85

I found a better place for a cheaper deposit that I can actually make when I get paid, so problem solved. We can do both. Thanks ladies!

lamoureux86

@9934291 - Hey girl, I sent you a private message!