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Military Brides

Ugh, Can I...?

... just be married and have a job in FL and be living with H already? 

Someone please remind me that I'm going to think all this shiiit was worth it after the wedding. 

It's also super discouraging that I haven't heard anything back from the jobs I've sent my application/resume in for. I know I'm young, but I really have what's considered a good amount of experience in my job, as well as really varied experience. Obviously I'm reliable, I've volunteered at the same place for the last 5 years, and been employed at the same 2 places for the last 4. Applying for jobs in places where you have no connections sucks balls. 

sigh.
wedding1 Anniversary
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Re: Ugh, Can I...?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:b276cbcb-187c-44f7-a549-eb2846e10579">Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]... just be married and have a job in FL and be living with H already?  Someone please remind me that I'm going to think all this shiiit was worth it after the wedding.  It's also super discouraging that I haven't heard anything back from the jobs I've sent my application/resume in for. I know I'm young, but I really have what's considered a good amount of experience in my job, as well as really varied experience. Obviously I'm reliable, I've volunteered at the same place for the last 5 years, and been employed at the same 2 places for the last 4. <strong>Applying for jobs in places where you have no connections sucks balls</strong>.  sigh.
    Posted by firemedicrr[/QUOTE]

    I am gonna be in that same boat soon and I am not looking forward to it!    It sounds like if you can get someone to look at your resume, you'll have a good chance of wow-ing them and getting a position.  And it will TOTALLY be worth it....just hang in there for now.  Sometimes I wish I could fast forward to being settled wtih H, and (hopefully) having a job near his first duty station.  But we just gotta be patient! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
  • Fire, have you been following up on your resumes to see if they've been received or where they are in the review process? I've been told a few times that can make a huge difference in just showing how motivated/serious you are.
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  • Oh girl. I hear you. I think I applied for 20 jobs before I decided to just stay here until H gets back from deployment...only heard back from one.

    But yet, I had people calling about my resume from the career services at my university left and right and I did not apply to ANY jobs... ughh. 

    I think they want to see a local address on the resume, so if you are applying with your out of state address they probably don't want to have to relocate you.  But I seriously wouldn't worry toooo much, you work in the medical field and with the Mayo Hospital and all the biiig hospitals around that area you should be pretty good.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:1ab9622d-23e6-493f-83cb-f0930bf08cb8">Re: Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh girl. I hear you. I think I applied for 20 jobs before I decided to just stay here until H gets back from deployment...only heard back from one. But yet, I had people calling about my resume from the career services at my university left and right and I did not apply to ANY jobs... ughh. <strong> I think they want to see a local address on the resume, so if you are applying with your out of state address they probably don't want to have to relocate you.</strong>  But I seriously wouldn't worry toooo much, you work in the medical field and with the Mayo Hospital and all the biiig hospitals around that area you should be pretty good.
    Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Yeah, I understand... though I have mentioned in every cover letter that I am getting married and will be moving to the area after the wedding.... so.... ya know, highly motivated to live with my then H. Apparently that doesn't matter. lol</div><div>
    </div><div>There are tons of hospitals, but taking a typical hospital job I will likely have to take a pay cut. Go figure the cost of living there is higher, but the average salary for my job is lower. Just sucks with my experience to look at taking that much of a paycut, KWIM? But what do you do?</div>
    wedding1 Anniversary
  • I think your first mistake would have been including your personal life agenda in your resume honestly. Cover letters are to market yourself as in what you can bring to the table on a professional level. At least, that's what I've been taught in every resume or career planning course I have taken.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:e46f9a78-5325-4348-8d10-20efe309f7b5">Re:Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think your first mistake would have been including your personal life agenda in your resume honestly. Cover letters are to market yourself as in what you can bring to the table on a professional level. At least, that's what I've been taught in every resume or career planning course I have taken.
    Posted by Sammy0709[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>True, I added it as a note since my address is on my resume and shows a different state... not really in the body of the cover letter itself, if that makes sense. </div><div>Would it be weird to not have my address? Should I just take it out?</div>
    wedding1 Anniversary
  • To add to my above, I'm working on an MBA in health care management and hope to be a manager some day if I don't get selected for the Marine Corps. If I saw a cover letter on a resume telling me, "I'm getting married and want to live with my H..." it would probably be the first one I toss without looking at it. But that is just my opinion now. Perhaps, when/if I become a manager I'll change my mind.
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  • I think you need the address but I would assume you have a plan to relocate or plan to if required if you're applying there.
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  • They are going to wonder why your address is in a different state and I think mentioning it in the cover letter is appropriate. Personally, I would try and contact a recruiter...it is their job to find you a job. I am on the fence with what to do about the address... it is hard to put your FIs address on the resume, because they expect you to be local and when they call and want you to come in for a interview and you are 4 states away you might lose some creditablity.

    This is what I would do... put your FIs address on the internet application so the computer doesn't boot your resume to the bottom of the stack. Then put  two addresses on the resume (current and permanent/future) And then explain in your coverletter that you will be relocating to JAX at *this* date.  Don't get too personal... marriage, wedding... etc. leave those personal details for the interview 
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  • edited April 2012
    yeah, that makes sense. I guess I haven't added it in -every- one since really the first ones I sent out I didn't say anything, and figured that perhaps that was why I hadn't heard back from anyone. 

    And in Re: to your other question, I have tried to follow up but have gotten nowhere with that as of now.

    ETA: Thanks for the input, Amanda. I have put that I am relocating upon finding employment. My wording surrounding that has varied slightly based on the job I was applying for (some of them I didn't mention the getting married part, only that I was planning to move there). 

    It's so frustrating... 
    wedding1 Anniversary
  • I just wanted to add something else about the two addresses on the resume... I don't know how far out of school you are... but the more I think about it, if you are several years out of college it might look a little strange. I did it on mine because I just graduated so it wouldn't seem that strange that you would be moving upon graduation.

    SOOOO....I think you could forego putting an address on the resume because people don't realllllly look at it...and you wouldn't really be lying.




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  • And.. if all else fails... we can be jobless together! Haha ...
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  • Sticking my nose in, based on my experience as a recruiter...

    The average recruiter gives a resume less than 10 seconds before we decide if we'll read more or toss it.  We get thousands per week.  A cover letter is only usually read if the resume passes muster.  If I saw a resume with an address of a different state, I'd toss it.  Often, only the title, job, education (if applicable), time in previous positions, and first word of each bullet point is read.  Sometimes the entire first bullet.  That's it.  If that doesn't grab their attention, it's gone.  They're not going to hunt through a cover letter to find a reason to overlook something in the resume - if the resume doesn't sell you, they won't bother.  It's not fair, but it's how it works. 

    To maximize the attention-getting potential of a resume, use as the first word of each bullet a really powerful action word in past tense, like "Managed" or "Created" or "Calculated" or whatever it is you did.  So "Managed six people in the maintenance of ...." would be good.  Don't write paragraphs, keep it super brief.

    If a resume got past the initial read and I got as far as the cover letter, if I saw any mention of an upcoming wedding, I'd probably toss it.  Personal life really shouldn't go in a cover letter because then the employer assumes your personal life with interfere with your job.  It shouldn't be mentioned during the interview process either unless directly brought up, and then in the briefest response possible - like, "Why are you looking in this area, as you graduated from college recently several states away?" and then you say, "I relocated due to my significant other's job."

    Honestly, I'd leave the word "fiance" out of any job application and interview process - employers often assume that brides will be focused on their wedding more than their job, or get pregnant right afterward and leave.  Sexist?  Yep.  But it happens.  Same goes for anything referencing the military.  Often it will hurt you more than help you, though there are obviously exceptions - a military-affiliated organization, for example, or a bridal magazine might care if you're engaged to a guy in the military.

    Sending an application is typically a bottomless pit.  I put a job posting and got over 10,000 responses.  No joke.  Unless you follow up, it's likely you won't hear back from even 5% of the jobs you apply for, even if you're perfectly qualified.  If you don't know who to follow up with, always try the HR department.  Be super friendly and persistent.  Just ask to see if they received it, and if there's any additional information you can send them to help them make a decision.  Being helpful is good.  Ask what the next step is, and when they think you'll hear or when would be good to follow up.

    Also, tailor your resume to each and every job, and the cover letter also.  The resume is most important - often the person reading your resume isn't your future boss, it's an HR department who have been assigned to find someone who fits X and Y qualifications, usually defined by the job description.  You want to match terms used in the job description word for word or else Susie HR Director might not realize that X is a synonym for a word in your resume and think you aren't qualified.

    And I'm really looking forward to Tuesday, my last day everrrrrr in the recruitment world, when I can stop reading other people's resumes until my eyes twitch...

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    Anniversary

  • Cal - agree with everything you posted. One of the projects I am on at work is the implementation of a new applicant / onboarding system.  Many of the systems we looked at had the option of having a "first pass" of the digital resumes.... the computer system would scan through the application after they submitted it...meaning the HR person wouldn't even look at it unless it was flagged. 


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  • That's some great info Cal. Thank you! Definitely keeping all that in mind when I launch my job search!
  • Thanks for the info, Cal. I will re-read my resume tomorrow with all this in mind. Would you advise removing my address from my resume? Would you contact someone with no address? How does that go once you contact someone regarding an interview if you find out they live out of state?
    wedding1 Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:3d0f76ae-696a-467f-ae96-943bc6abfef9">Re: Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the info, Cal. I will re-read my resume tomorrow with all this in mind. Would you advise removing my address from my resume? Would you contact someone with no address? How does that go once you contact someone regarding an interview if you find out they live out of state?
    Posted by firemedicrr[/QUOTE]
    Since I'm job hunting OOT as well, I just have my current address on the header of my resume. I've had one or two people contact me like "Hey you know this position is in MA right?" And I just reply, "Yes, I'm relocating there." If/when we move and I still don't have a job, I'll just change the header to reflect the current address. Because you're out of state, this way they know to start with a phone interview, they might have to fly you up, timeframes change. I think it's beneficial to have the legit address on there so they know what they're dealing with, for better or worse. Good luck! And blow some job dust my way!
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  • I think Irish's is a special circumstance since she's in a highly technical field and they'd be willing to fly someone in with the right expertise for an interview or even wait patiently while they relocate, but I'd recommend honestly for most people making up an address locally if you don't already have a friend or family member's you can use.  No one is going to mail stuff there.  I wouldn't leave the address section blank.  You can explain easy enough when they first call that you're in the process of moving there.   At that point, they're already interested enough to call you to try to set up an interview, so they're probably more willing to be flexible.

    When you have hundreds if not thousands of resumes to sort through, you use any excuse to cull some out.  I had thousands of people apply for my last job posting, and it was a very local, non-technical, lower level position and I saw resumes from as far away as California (for a Georgia posting) and India.  I don't know if those people were relocating - I didn't even read their resume.  I honestly didn't have time.

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    Anniversary

  • Cal, are you saying to just make up some random local address to put on your resume if you don't have one?  I'm not sure how comfortable I'd feel about that, but maybe I'm misunderstanding.  Another idea I was toying around with is to include something in my objective sentence on my resume about how I am specifically looking for a job in XXX area.  I've never seen an objective like that, but I realize they might not even read my coverletter if they see an out-of-state address on my resume.  We have no family where we're headed and we won't have an address until H takes his permissive TDY after training.

    Irish, I'm wondering what field you're in?  I'm just curious, so if you don't feel comfortable plastering that on TK I understand. 

    Fire, sorry for the threadjack haha...I feel like we're dealing with some of the same issues.
  • Hey guys, check out the laws of your state. I know in some states that if you are relocating due to military or for your spouse's job (which has better benefits/pay) you can possibly qualify for unemployment. My best friend moved from NYS to Ohio because of her husband's job and she was able to get unemployment. I also know that certain states have military clauses about it. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:5741ac83-e2a2-4787-b3b0-7e5554d14211">Re: Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Cal, are you saying to just make up some random local address to put on your resume if you don't have one?  I'm not sure how comfortable I'd feel about that, but maybe I'm misunderstanding.  Another idea I was toying around with is to include something in my objective sentence on my resume about how I am specifically looking for a job in XXX area.  I've never seen an objective like that, but I realize they might not even read my coverletter if they see an out-of-state address on my resume.  We have no family where we're headed and we won't have an address until H takes his permissive TDY after training. Irish, I'm wondering what field you're in?  I'm just curious, so if you don't feel comfortable plastering that on TK I understand.  Fire, sorry for the threadjack haha...I feel like we're dealing with some of the same issues.
    Posted by lrh17[/QUOTE]<div>I am currently in cancer research, which has become sort of a niche of next-generation DNA sequencing, but I'm looking in biotech/R&D in general where we're moving. 

    </div>
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  • Fire, aren't you in EMS? They were hiring paramedics and EMT's like it was going out of style on base. Maybe you could check USA jobs if you haven't already? Maybe I'm imagining that you're in EMS too. Idk.
    [IMG]http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l630/SammyN0709/your-ecards.jpg[/IMG]
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:50158e8a-9460-48db-8958-f6b3cfa6279a">Re: Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey guys, check out the laws of your state. I know in some states that if you are relocating due to military or for your spouse's job (which has better benefits/pay) you can possibly qualify for unemployment. My best friend moved from NYS to Ohio because of her husband's job and she was able to get unemployment. I also know that certain states have military clauses about it. 
    Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]
    Aha! Knew I had this somewhere, look up by the state you currenty reside in (that's with whom you file).  <a href="http://www.ncsl.org/issues-research/labor/unemploy-comp-for-military-spouses-statutes.aspx#.T4UGg5X9tyw.facebook" rel="nofollow">http://www.ncsl.org/issues-research/labor/unemploy-comp-for-military-spouses-statutes.aspx#.T4UGg5X9tyw.facebook</a>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:7eb07f88-bf08-47af-a70b-29a3e81f5e73">Re: Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, Can I...? : Aha! Knew I had this somewhere, look up by the state you currenty reside in (that's with whom you file).  <a href="http://www.ncsl.org/issues-research/labor/unemploy-comp-for-military-spouses-statutes.aspx#.T4UGg5X9tyw.facebook" rel="nofollow">http://www.ncsl.org/issues-research/labor/unemploy-comp-for-military-spouses-statutes.aspx#.T4UGg5X9tyw.facebook</a>
    Posted by Irishcurls[/QUOTE]

    Ha, I was just looking at this after gg's post, and I looked up the state we're moving too...and it said no eligibility.  So then I went back to look up the state I live in...and also no elgibility.  Dang.  And your research sounds pretty neat!
  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:be0462f7-6f5e-4a5c-84f5-0b1dd2ec772d">Re: Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, Can I...? : Ha, I was just looking at this after gg's post, and I looked up the state we're moving too...and it said no eligibility.  So then I went back to look up the state I live in...and also no elgibility.  Dang.  And your research sounds pretty neat!
    Posted by lrh17[/QUOTE]<div>Honestly, I would probably still apply. I checked it for Ohio and it says there is no statute for it, but that doesn't mean they won't do it. So if it happened that you moved without a job, you wouldn't be any worse off if you were told no. </div><div>
    </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:ac0fea39-ac14-46f4-a26a-42a21c543c2b">Re: Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, Can I...? : Honestly, I would probably still apply. I checked it for Ohio and it says there is no statute for it, but that doesn't mean they won't do it. So if it happened that you moved without a job, you wouldn't be any worse off if you were told no. 
    Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

    Good point.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:5741ac83-e2a2-4787-b3b0-7e5554d14211">Re: Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Cal, are you saying to just make up some random local address to put on your resume if you don't have one?  I'm not sure how comfortable I'd feel about that, but maybe I'm misunderstanding.  Another idea I was toying around with is to include something in my objective sentence on my resume about how I am specifically looking for a job in XXX area.  I've never seen an objective like that, but I realize they might not even read my coverletter if they see an out-of-state address on my resume.  We have no family where we're headed and we won't have an address until H takes his permissive TDY after training. Irish, I'm wondering what field you're in?  I'm just curious, so if you don't feel comfortable plastering that on TK I understand.  Fire, sorry for the threadjack haha...I feel like we're dealing with some of the same issues.
    Posted by lrh17[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I'd probably make up an address.  But you could just skip a street address and put the city & state?  People will probably assume it's for privacy reasons, and you could explain that it's because you don't have an address yet because you're in the process of relocating.  No lying that way.  The objective is an interesting way to put it in there, but I still would put a local address.

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    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:ac930fcd-6993-4ba5-91bb-319b1fda5cb2">Re: Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh, Can I...? : Yeah, I'd probably make up an address.  But you could just skip a street address and put the city & state?  People will probably assume it's for privacy reasons, and you could explain that it's because you don't have an address yet because you're in the process of relocating.  No lying that way.  The objective is an interesting way to put it in there, but I still would put a local address.
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    Actually, that's another way I was thinking of handling it.  We at least know what city we'll be living in...just no physical home yet!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ugh-can-i?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56c43f1f-8139-4cfb-8ce6-015959ad8306Post:d121e002-30a1-441c-94fe-1b67505c2427">Re:Ugh, Can I...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Fire, aren't you in EMS? They were hiring paramedics and EMT's like it was going out of style on base. Maybe you could check USA jobs if you haven't already? Maybe I'm imagining that you're in EMS too. Idk.
    Posted by Sammy0709[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>You're not imagining it, Sammy. I've been on usajobs like they're going out of style, lol. The closest opening I've seen is northern GA. </div><div>
    </div><div>Thanks for the info on unemployment too, GG. I was under the impression that that only applied if you were PCSing, not getting married and having to relocate. I will have to look into it further.</div><div>
    </div><div>And I agree- Irish's research does sound really fascinating :)</div><div>
    </div><div>The most recent suggestion about City/State sounds like a decent idea. </div><div>
    </div><div>Irh- no apologies necessary :) This is helpful info... I'm really enjoying hearing everyone's input. Lots of experience and knowledge on this board!</div>
    wedding1 Anniversary
  • Fire, to give you some hope. I got my job with my Buffalo address on there and it was before I moved. Not everyone will ignore you ;).  I know I was lucky, but it does happen. Just keep applying and putting the info out there. Someone will bite. 

    And for the unemployment thing I know it depends on the state. My friend who got it had nothing to do with the military, her husban is an air traffic controller and she was able to get it from NYS. It can't hurt to try if you need to. 

    Another option that you can do, that I considered, was getting a job doing whatever when I first got down here and continue to apply for my "real" job when I was here. It would've been a paycut obviously, but it would be something while I continued to look for a job and had an in state address on my resume. 
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