Fears?

LetsHikeToday · January 2012

What are you scared of? Any irrational fears? Any rational ones? I'm scared to death of my dad dying. I'm such a daddy's girl. Every time I say goodbye to him, I cry. I miss him today.

LetsHikeToday · January 2012

Oh. I'm also scared of the ocean. I hate not being able to see what I'm swimming in. I'm a fish and love water but will not go in the ocean.

amh04 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:63299d1f-c9b9-4076-8e4d-89dd98d17e55Post:f9069e8d-a73c-46e4-a1d1-f0a73b2fc594">Fears?</a>:
[QUOTE]What are you scared of? Any irrational fears? Any rational ones? I'm scared to death of my dad dying. I'm such a daddy's girl. Every time I say goodbye to him, I cry. I miss him today.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

I'm actually terrified of death/dying. Like - I get anxiety about it and really can't even begin to really think about it at all. I'm also pretty terrified of my parents dying as well. Just because I can't imagine not having them.
And I'm a little afraid that FI is eventually going to get sick of me and decide that he doesn't want to be with me anymore.

Rational fears - I'm afraid of being super overweight. Not that I would ever allow myself too, but it scares me on the health aspect. I don't want to not be able to be active or do things.
I'm also really afraid of just not being good enough. Not being good at being a FI/Wife. I'm afraid I'm not good enough at my job. Just in general, not being enough or being a failure or someone no one wants to be around.

And not to rub feathers, but because of my medical history, I'm actually really afraid that I won't be able to get pregnant. I've had female issues since I was 15 and while no Dr has ever said it wouldn't be possible. I'm still afraid that I won't be able to..

LetsHikeToday · January 2012

I felt like that with my H at the beginning. I needed a lot of reassurance. Maybe it comes with the whole eating disorder thing? Because you said you struggled with that too, right? I don't know when it happened but I don't feel that way anymore.

BinxRose · January 2012

I'm scared of people not liking me and not having friends. I'm scared that my upcoming wedding is ruining my relationships with my friends simply because they feel like we no longer have anything in common, since I'm the first to marry. And it turns out my fears weren't quite so irrational.

I'm also always scared of my FI dying. Sometimes when I think he should be free and he doesn't answer a call or text soon enough, my mind starts wandering

LetsHikeToday · January 2012

Binx- what's going on with your friends?

BinxRose · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:63299d1f-c9b9-4076-8e4d-89dd98d17e55Post:e28c0f45-22d1-4039-ac39-ba93b4f6a30d">Re: Fears?</a>:
[QUOTE]Binx- what's going on with your friends?
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

I'm embarassed of how I found out, because I know what I did was completely wrong. But in doing so, I found out that my "best friend"/MOH and another "friend"/BM were talking trash about me in general, some stuff I'm doing for the wedding, and the fact that I'm getting married at this age. I can't even confront them because of how I found out.

amh04 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:63299d1f-c9b9-4076-8e4d-89dd98d17e55Post:4cc3f9c5-094b-4d9b-b7cf-05f9c8f103f6">Re: Fears?</a>:
[QUOTE]I felt like that with my H at the beginning. I needed a lot of reassurance. Maybe it comes with the whole eating disorder thing? Because you said you struggled with that too, right? I don't know when it happened but I don't feel that way anymore.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I think a lot of the feelings of not being good enough and him realizing that he didn't want me thing stems from the eating disorder and a prior abusive relationship. It's gotten better, but I still have those thoughts. I think that with time it'll get a lot better. FI has been really reassuring, which helps a lot. But.. those thoughts can do a number on you. I think I just really need to work on how to get my mind to not think like that, once I find that key, I think I'll be a lot better.

amh04 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:63299d1f-c9b9-4076-8e4d-89dd98d17e55Post:0fa7ea4d-f268-43cf-9044-af72c55b3997">Re: Fears?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fears? : I'm embarassed of how I found out, because I know what I did was completely wrong. But in doing so, I found out that my "best friend"/MOH and another "friend"/BM were talking trash about me in general, some stuff I'm doing for the wedding, and the fact that I'm getting married at this age. I can't even confront them because of how I found out.
Posted by BinxRose[/QUOTE]

That's really tough Binx. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that. That's definitely a sticky situation. I can't believe that they were bad mouthing you though, especially if they're supposed to be your friends..

LetsHikeToday · January 2012

Binx- that sucks. Was the stuff they said really hurtful? Amh- have you tried counseling? I used to go.

BinxRose · January 2012

Ya it was pretty hurtful. And just the fact that they felt the need to say anything like that at all is hurtful. They are supposed to be my friends, you know? I never knew they felt that way, especially my MOH, because she acts so supportive to my face.

AMH- I feel that way about FI leaving me too. I think my issues stem from my dad cheating on my mom.

I have another sort-of irrational fear that is two parts: I'm afraid I'm not going to be a good mom someday. I'm terrified of post-partum depression. And I'm terrified that if I do get post-partum depression, that it will be the trigger for the onset of schizophrenia, as that is what they think triggered my grandma's.

LetsHikeToday · January 2012

Binx- as long as you know what to look after for after pregnancy, you will be fine! You are educated about that and if worse comes to worse, you will know to get help. Sorry about your friends. That sucks. Im kinda in the opposite situation as you. All my college friends got married a few years ago and they kinda left me out because i wasn't married. It sucks either way.

crownsuperstar · January 2012

Binx- I am sorry that you found out stuff they said. That just sucks.

Amh- I some times think that H will wake up and be like what in the world did I do marring this person. I know that he won't I just think HUM I wonder. Know what I mean?

Hike- I love the water, live close to the beach and could live on a boat but I hate walking into the ocean. I ok with jumping off the side of a boat but I am afriad that I am going to step on a crab if I walk into the water.

My fears- I am afraid of clowns, birds and little people. So for me the circus is not a fun place. Oh and if H and I ever have kids there will not be a clown at a birthday party.

LetsHikeToday · January 2012

Crown- we went on a family vacation to Baltimore and DC once. Our hotel in Baltimore was having a little person convention at the same time.

amh04 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:63299d1f-c9b9-4076-8e4d-89dd98d17e55Post:8d2f61db-3f51-4c09-91bf-5d02acafa515">Re: Fears?</a>:
[QUOTE]Binx- that sucks. Was the stuff they said really hurtful? Amh- have you tried counseling? I used to go.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

I haven't - I've thought about it on my bad days though. I'm sure its definitely something I will look further into and try after the wedding. It'd be nice to have some unbiased person give me feedback. I love FI and he's wonderful, but.. sometimes I just don't want to hear 'I love you or its okay'.

crownsuperstar · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:63299d1f-c9b9-4076-8e4d-89dd98d17e55Post:d268cc4a-27ee-4efd-bbbc-694a8fe7d1bf">Re: Fears?</a>:
[QUOTE]Crown- we went on a family vacation to Baltimore and DC once. Our hotel in Baltimore was having a little person convention at the same time.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

That gives me the sweats just thinking about it. I would have had to changes hotels. HAA! This fear is totally not a rational one.

amh04 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:63299d1f-c9b9-4076-8e4d-89dd98d17e55Post:fe8e0895-1b35-46de-b97f-018c31d72b57">Re: Fears?</a>:
[QUOTE]Binx- I am sorry that you found out stuff they said. That just sucks. Amh- I some times think that H will wake up and be like what in the world did I do marring this person. I know that he won't I just think HUM I wonder. Know what I mean? Hike- I love the water, live close to the beach and could live on a boat but I hate walking into the ocean. I ok with jumping off the side of a boat but I am afriad that I am going to step on a crab if I walk into the water. My fears- I am afraid of clowns, birds and little people. So for me the circus is not a fun place. Oh and if H and I ever have kids there will not be a clown at a birthday party.
Posted by crownsuperstar[/QUOTE]

I think this a lot. Like he is going to wake up one morning - and be like where the hell was my brain at for the past 3.5 years. Why on earth would I marry you? I know in reality he wouldn't think that, but sometimes I wonder about it.

crownsuperstar · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:63299d1f-c9b9-4076-8e4d-89dd98d17e55Post:bf55b980-eb7d-44b9-b7de-b1f8d711b4c7">Re: Fears?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fears? : I think this a lot. Like he is going to wake up one morning - and be like where the hell was my brain at for the past 3.5 years. Why on earth would I marry you? I know in reality he wouldn't think that, but sometimes I wonder about it.
Posted by amh04[/QUOTE]

Me too. I know H would not do that to me either it is just one of those things that I wake up thinking...HUM I wonder. I mean he is very much the flip side saying things like how happy he is to have met me, how is appreciates the little things I do for him but I still in the back of my mind think what if? I am glad I am not the only one that thinks like that.

CAB1217 · January 2012

I have a lot of the same fears here... I have an awful fear of death. EVERYONE'S death. It just really really bothers me. I fear divorce, especially since my H has already been married before. I fear that I will disappoint everyone, and for some people, give them the chance to say "I told you so". I truly don't think I could survive a divorce. I also fear that I may not be able to have children, even though medically, there is no reason for it.

Also, super duper irrational fear, I fear mayonnaise. Yes, you heard right. I fear it being on or near me. I'm like those people on the Maury show

crownsuperstar · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:63299d1f-c9b9-4076-8e4d-89dd98d17e55Post:63bd78d8-2536-41ca-8609-e080283ee440">Re: Fears?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a lot of the same fears here... I have an awful fear of death. EVERYONE'S death. It just really really bothers me. I fear divorce, especially since my H has already been married before. I fear that I will disappoint everyone, and for some people, give them the chance to say "I told you so". I truly don't think I could survive a divorce. I also fear that I may not be able to have children, even though medically, there is no reason for it. Also, super duper irrational fear, I fear mayonnaise. Yes, you heard right. I fear it being on or near me. I'm like those people on the Maury show :/
Posted by CAB1217[/QUOTE]

CAB- that made me giggle just a little because I saw one where a lady was scared of like mustard or something like that and she ran screaming from the set. She as in the back saying "Help me Jesus help me!"

calindi · January 2012

I'm afraid of everyone secretly talking behind my back, like Binx had happen. I wasn't the most popular kid in middle school, and for about half a year there were rumors going around about me (that I stuffed my bra, or was a slut - I hadn't even kissed a boy yet!) and I didn't have a clue. I'm not the best at reading social situations sometimes. Correction - I don't read passive aggressive behavior, and I don't always understand how girls work. So I'm usually on edge, afraid that people are secretly making fun of me or laughing at me. I have very few close friends, and I'm incredibly loyal and direct, so I just don't understand when people act in any other way.

CAB1217 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:63299d1f-c9b9-4076-8e4d-89dd98d17e55Post:c374c19f-b675-473b-8756-92d1653efd8c">Re: Fears?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fears? : CAB- that made me giggle just a little because I saw one where a lady was scared of like mustard or something like that and she ran screaming from the set. She as in the back saying "Help me Jesus help me!"
Posted by crownsuperstar[/QUOTE]

That's what I was thinking about when I wrote that! HA HA HA HA HA!!!! I mean I won't SCREAM running, I will flinch and whine though if it's near me! :) Maybe in my head, I'm asking the baby Jesus to save me.

shan87 · January 2012

I fear that H will wake up one day and want to sleep with other women since we were each others first, and his only. He is a really content guy but I wonder when he hits his mid-life crisis if he wished he explored more.

The thought of public speaking use to make me pass out, but I've grown out of that - thankfully.

Hot Air Ballons scare the crap out of me. I will never ever take a ride in one. Mostly because I'm scared of heights when I'm not concealed (ie. standing close/over a ledge of a cliff-- more recently realized ferriswheels still get me [also doesn't help when your husband is shaking the fricken cabin/chair])

Spiders and creepy crawling bugs give me the creeps.... after I let out a dramatic scream I can usually compose myself enough to find a shoe.

CozyHeart13 · January 2012

I'm terrified of heights - I won't even climb high enough to change a light bulb - but I love flying and have been on a hot air balloon ride. As long I didn't try to look directly down below the basket, it was great! It's actually very peaceful and can have a conversation with someone in another balloon without having to raise your voice. WAY COOL!

And I won't swim in anything but a pool. Not the ocean, not a lake, not a river... I don't like swimming with fish poo, algea or even the fish. ICK!

Most of my crazy fears are about my kiddo - everything you can possibly think of that has to do with parenting fears, that's me. Am I going to ruin her life with every little decision I make at this point? Does she hate green beans because of something I did? Will she hate me when she gets older? Will she succeed in school? ETC! They started when I got pregnant and have only gotten more and more irrational.

Also, being divorced, there's the fear of always being alone. I'm scared that I'm just not loveable, or will never find anyone who wants to love me the way I love them. Silly, I know. I think all my fears are irrational...

Zimsgirl26 · January 2012

Some of my fears:

I'm also scared that no one likes me. I feel like I don't have many friends and I wish I could be that girl that everyone likes, always looks nice, etc. but I know that's not me. I feel like some friends I have now are changing and we don't have as much in common.

I'm scared that I'm a disappointment to my parents. I'm very different from my siblings. All my siblings are big into sports and were all conference athletes. I was always the artsy child. I did really well in theater and speech. I went to state every year in speech for group and individual. I even went to all state senior year for individual speech. I felt like my parents didn't always make as big an effort to go to my events as they did to my siblings. They would always be some of the first parents there and my dad would record all of their games then rewatch it at home and take their stats. I feel like I'm not as smart as my siblings. My older sister was a straight A HS student, valedictorian, full ride to college, and just got accepted to Duke's PT program. I just feel like I don't always fit in

SamiJoeB · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:63299d1f-c9b9-4076-8e4d-89dd98d17e55Post:62995708-2bab-47e9-b162-e37943bae17d">Re: Fears?</a>:
[QUOTE]Some of my fears: I'm also scared that no one likes me. I feel like I don't have many friends and I wish I could be that girl that everyone likes, always looks nice, etc. but I know that's not me. I feel like some friends I have now are changing and we don't have as much in common. I'm scared that I'm a disappointment to my parents. I'm very different from my siblings. All my siblings are big into sports and were all conference athletes. I was always the artsy child. I did really well in theater and speech. I went to state every year in speech for group and individual. I even went to all state senior year for individual speech. I felt like my parents didn't always make as big an effort to go to my events as they did to my siblings. They would always be some of the first parents there and my dad would record all of their games then rewatch it at home and take their stats. I feel like I'm not as smart as my siblings. My older sister was a straight A HS student, valedictorian, full ride to college, and just got accepted to Duke's PT program. I just feel like I don't always fit in
Posted by Zimsgirl26[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry you feel that way Zim.. I know you got off to a pretty crappy start here, but you should know that I for one have been really impressed with how you've turned things around. I like you just fine!!<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />