Feeling Alone

Alaynasmyheart

Well, this may not be the place to post but I think you guys will get it a little more than most "normal" people.

I got married 7 months ago to my military man.  We met in the army and we're both still in.  My brother got to attend my wedding via Skype as he was deployed.  My sister whom is also in, got granted leave.

34 days after my wedding my brother was KIA.  Now, there are plans of what to do for our 1 year weekend, since this year the day falls on a monday....and i'm torn.  I want to have a get to gether with our friends and family but at the same time....that's the last time i got to see my brother alive and I'm not sure I woulnd't just be bawling....

I guess, I'm just trying to work out my own feelings and decide if I'll regret not doing something or if we should just stay low key so in the event of a mental break down it won't be publicly...

iluvmytxrgr

I really think you have to go with your gut on this one.  

A guy who I considered a very close friend and a member of my family was KIA 2 years ago. The anniversary of his death is a tough day for me.  I generally don't want to be around a bunch of people, especially people who want to go on and on and get emotional.  If it were me, I wouldn't want to be any where near other people.  I would rather go with my husband and try to relax somewhere.  That doesn't mean I wouldn't be thinking about him, but it would be on my terms and no forced on me.  

You need to figure out how you will handle it better.  Are you better alone or on your own terms or do you think you'll want to be around your family?

ggirl2001

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't think anyone has an answer for you. I'm going to echo Tx and say that you need to follow your gut on what to do. Only you know what will be best for you.

calindi

I'm so sorry for your loss, and thank you for your family's sacrifice.  I cannot begin to understand how hard that must be.

Sit down with your husband and talk about it.  There's really two big events - the anniversary of your wedding, and the devastating anniversary of your brother's death.  Only you can know what you feel and what you can handle, there's no right or wrong here.  Perhaps have a special night or weekend with your husband to be happy for your marriage, and then have a family memorial service for your brother a few weeks later? 

crownsuperstar

I don't really any advise and what the other ladies said and that is to go with your gut feeling. 

I am very sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to know what you and your family is going through. 

PJBHL5

no advice, just prayers for you and your family.

crimewatcher

I'm very sorry you have to go through this. *Hugs*

I also agree with TX, you are the only person that can answer this question. We all grieve differently. If it helps, I can share my story. My Dad passed away a couple months after we got engaged. It wasn't as sudden as your brothers, my Dad had very aggressive Colon Cancer. It was brutal in the sense that we saw it happening, after he passed I was ready to jump back into work and any distraction that would make me temporarily forget. (I hate being sad, and after a couple days I just wanted to stop crying and smile/laugh). I thought about him a lot on my wedding day and when I look back I see he wasn't there. Whereas you will look back and see him there or remember the skype date. Hopefully, that will make it a time to remember all the good memories. For me, the first anniversary of my Dad's death wasn't so bad, the 2nd year I was a mess. In my case, it took me that long for it to really sink in.

I wish I was of more help.