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Military Brides

Can't seem to get away from the military. =\

Well, I'm Jeni, I'm new here, and just recently my fiance has decided to join the Army. I'm proud of him for wanting to take care of me and his future family (the kids we decide to have at least 5 years from now) but I'm scared because he is not my first relationship that was or is going into the Military. My ex was in the Navy and my father was in the Marines, then is now in the Army, my relationships with them have gone to sh*t. I'm just scared that me and my fiance are going to end up in either breaking up or a divorce because of this.....

Any advice?
"And I'm doing just fine, I'm always landin on my feet, in the nick of time and by the skin of my teeth, I ain't gonna stress cause the worst ain't happen yet, Somethin's watchin over me like Sweet Serendipity." Wedding Countdown Ticker Visit Military.weddings.comVisit Orange.weddings.comVisit Green.weddings.comVisit Vintage.weddings.comVisit Italian.weddings.com

Re: Can't seem to get away from the military. =\

  • edited December 2011
    First off, congrats on your engagement! As far as military life goes, it's not easy and it's not for everybody. The best advice I can give you is know what you're getting into and know what you want. Obviously you will be seperated while he is in basic training. But after that, do you plan on moving to base with him? And since he is in the Army, there is a good chance he'll be deployed (for a year, I think). So are you ok with long distance? Are you ok with moving around once you two are married? Know what his job is and do some research on it. This will give you a better idea of some of the things you will have to deal with. There is also some really good literature out there on Military Life and I'm sure there is some Army specific literature as well.

    As far as your past relationship, think about the dynamic of the relationship. Was it him joining the military (or military related problems: distance, moving, your career conflicting, etc.) that put an end to things or were there other issues? Now think about the dynamic of your relationship with your fiance.

    Just because a past relationship with a man in the military didn't work out, doesn't mean your current relationship is destined to fail. But it does give you something to think about. Best of luck to you!
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  • edited December 2011

    I kind of had similar situation.  My ex was in the Army, and our relationship went bad I blamed the Army.  Then I started dating my Dh, who decided that he wanted to join the Marines.  I was afraid that the military would ruin our relationship.  But then I spent a whole day thinking about it.  I realized it wasn't the Army's fault that that my ex and I broke up but it was my ex's actions and how he treated me.  I was young (18-19) when we broke up.  I realized that my Dh and I had a better and stronger relationship than my ex and I ever had.  So I became unafraid of what the military would do to our relationship.  Because it's not the military that makes the relationships bad it's the people.

    You sound like you need to think about this, maybe do some soul searchin.  Look at your past relationship and this relationship.  If you are seeing the same things, then get out now.  But if you see good things in this relationship that weren't there in the other one, you will see it wasn't the military's fault, but the people.

  • edited December 2011
    Thank you both, I have spent a great deal looking at the pro's and con's of the military life style. I have looked at the differences of this relationship and the last, and have come to realize, that just like you said, xjulie2188x, it wasn't the military, it's the people. Id o realize that with my fiance going into the Army he will change, our whole relationship will change, but everyone changes. And if this doesn't work out, then I'm almost 100% sure that my fiance and I will end up like my ex and I (my ex and I are best friends because we have came to the understanding that a dating relationship isn't for us but a friendship is)

    Thank you both and I will keep everyone updated. 
    "And I'm doing just fine, I'm always landin on my feet, in the nick of time and by the skin of my teeth, I ain't gonna stress cause the worst ain't happen yet, Somethin's watchin over me like Sweet Serendipity." Wedding Countdown Ticker Visit Military.weddings.comVisit Orange.weddings.comVisit Green.weddings.comVisit Vintage.weddings.comVisit Italian.weddings.com
  • edited December 2011
    It takes a strong woman to be with someone whos in the mitary and trust me i have never dated anyone that wasnt military... like you i grew up around the military all my life and its all i know. but i can easily say that the Army didnt end those relationships..we had far worse issues. with me i think the number one reason most miltary couples dont make is trust. if you cat trust in each other and the love you have for each other then your setting yourself up to fail. You just have to keep a postive look and remeber each and everyday why you said yes to him and why you love him dont let the past take over your future!
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