eloping

samanthamarie0331

my fiance and i are both ad af.. hes stationed in florida and im in nebraska. we're getting married june 14 2012. we havent announced it yet because we wanted to wait until we go home in june to see both our families (hes from new york and im from vermont, we're taking 3 weeks of leave and this is when our engagement will become "official")
we have a little bit of a situation. his twin sister got engaged a couple months before us and chose to have her wedding in july 2012. obviously because her engagement was announced before ours we dont want to upstage her big day at all but we also dont want to change our date. she will be having a huge wedding paid for by my fiances parents. we came to the conclusion that we should elope and then on our 1 year anniversary have a wedding celebration.
we have no idea where to go from that decision though..
how do we go about eloping? should just our family know or should we announce it to everyone and how? should we get married say in florida and then a couple days later go on our honeymoon? can we get married on our honeymoon? what paperwork do we fill out for the military? + plenty more questions from the both of us.. as you can see we really have no idea what we should do. any comments/opinions/suggestions/ideas are greatly appreciated

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_eloping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8457aa25-4030-4b6d-a3b6-b08eb14710bdPost:082a3f7e-c67e-4a8c-b4a3-2041279051e3">eloping</a>:
[QUOTE]my fiance and i are both ad af.. hes stationed in florida and im in nebraska. we're getting married june 14 2012. we havent announced it yet because we wanted to wait until we go home in june to see both our families (hes from new york and im from vermont, we're taking 3 weeks of leave and this is when our engagement will become "official") we have a little bit of a situation. his twin sister got engaged a couple months before us and chose to have her wedding in july 2012. obviously because her engagement was announced before ours we dont want to upstage her big day at all but we also dont want to change our date. she will be having a huge wedding paid for by my fiances parents. we came to the conclusion that we should elope and then on our 1 year anniversary have a wedding celebration. we have no idea where to go from that decision though.. how do we go about eloping? should just our family know or should we announce it to everyone and how? should we get married say in florida and then a couple days later go on our honeymoon? can we get married on our honeymoon? what paperwork do we fill out for the military? + plenty more questions from the both of us.. as you can see we really have no idea what we should do. any comments/opinions/suggestions/ideas are greatly appreciated
Posted by samanthamarie0331[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Are you eloping and doing the party a year later because that's what is financially best for you, or because you are afraid of upsetting your FSIL? 

</div>

iluvmytxrgr

I don't really understand why you are eloping.  If you are afraid to upstage your FSIL, why not push your wedding back to September or later?  Before you make any plans, why not ask her how she feels about it instead of assuming she'll be a biotch about it?  She may be very happy for the two of you.  Is there a reason you chose June?  Explain it to her. 
If you do elope, don't hide it from anyone.  You would be lying to them and I don't understand why anyone would want to lie to their friends and family about a marriage. 

kyrgyzstan

I just found out my brother and his long term girlfriend are expecting. He was super worried that I would be angry about them upstaging my wedding. So silly. I'm so happy for them, and I'm throwing them a shower the morning before the wedding!

Talk to her.

megmac24

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_eloping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8457aa25-4030-4b6d-a3b6-b08eb14710bdPost:290e8b28-ef01-4f23-98f8-68bb3d71e630">Re: eloping</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't really understand why you are eloping.  If you are afraid to upstage your FSIL, why not push your wedding back to September or later?  Before you make any plans, why not ask her how she feels about it instead of assuming she'll be a biotch about it?  She may be very happy for the two of you.  Is there a reason you chose June?  Explain it to her.  If you do elope, don't hide it from anyone.  You would be lying to them and I don't understand why anyone would want to lie to their friends and family about a marriage. 
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]

<div>This! Definitely talk to her. </div>

ksn56

I too don’t understand the eloping but I also don’t get not sharing the engagement ... I couldn't keep it in J  I’d say first share your engagement with family!  Pull your FSIL aside (with your fiance) explain you had the date picked out and ask here thoughts on June. 

We JOPd after leave pulled on wedding.  We told close family & friends.  Than sent wedding announcements to all family and friends so everyone knew.  Having a vow renewal for your 1 year is fine if that is what you want - but it is not considered a wedding celebration since you’ve been married a year.  

Married on honeymoon: our friends married on a cruise to the Bahamas - left out of Cape Canaveral (by Patrick AFB).  Just check with the cruise line for all the requirements and cost. 

Paperwork for military: You need to both check with your chain of commands.  Just so you know, which I’m sure you do, once you marry you'll than go back to your base and need to negotiate Co-location, which is normally pretty hard to get! 

Good luck on everything

SamiJoeB

Ditto what everyone said about just talking to her. I'm sure she'll be okay about it.

To me is sounds like you don't know what you want. Do you want a big wedding with all your and your FI's families? If so, then do that. I've found with the military that getting married close to a holiday gives you a better chance at getting leave (H and I got married while both on AD, our date was 1 week before Christmas, during both of our Holiday leave periods, Shan who just got married, did so over the Memorial Day weekend). If you want to get married, just you and your FI on a cruise ship, then do that. My advice would be to talk with your FI and see what you both want, and go from there.

Some commands will require a special request chit to get married, basically they want to make sure you aren't marrying an illegal alien or anything like that.

HTH

MarryingmyKnight

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_eloping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:8457aa25-4030-4b6d-a3b6-b08eb14710bdPost:997d8fc6-520a-4a15-8edf-e44adf5eb3ae">Re: eloping</a>:
[QUOTE]I too don’t understand the eloping but I also don’t get not sharing the engagement ... I couldn't keep it in J   I’d say first share your engagement with family!   Pull your FSIL aside (with your fiance) explain you had the date picked out and ask here thoughts on June.  We JOPd after leave pulled on wedding.   We told close family & friends.  Than sent wedding announcements to all family and friends so everyone knew.   Having a vow renewal for your 1 year is fine if that is what you want - but it is not considered a wedding celebration since you’ve been married a year.   Married on honeymoon: our friends married on a cruise to the Bahamas - left out of Cape Canaveral (by Patrick AFB).   Just check with the cruise line for all the requirements and cost.  Paperwork for military: You need to both check with your chain of commands.   <strong>Just so you know, which I’m sure you do, once you marry you'll than go back to your base and need to negotiate Co-location, which is normally pretty hard to get! </strong>  Good luck on everything :)
Posted by ksn56[/QUOTE]

It's not hard to get stationed together. You just have to fill out the paperwork and send it in.  My friend got a mil to mil assignment and was with her hubby within 6 months.

MarryingmyKnight

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_eloping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:8457aa25-4030-4b6d-a3b6-b08eb14710bdPost:74bfb96d-1694-4f12-a605-061922734b7c">Re: eloping</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto what everyone said about just talking to her. I'm sure she'll be okay about it. To me is sounds like you don't know what you want. Do you want a big wedding with all your and your FI's families? If so, then do that. I've found with the military that getting married close to a holiday gives you a better chance at getting leave (H and I got married while both on AD, our date was 1 week before Christmas, during both of our Holiday leave periods, Shan who just got married, did so over the Memorial Day weekend). If you want to get married, just you and your FI on a cruise ship, then do that. My advice would be to talk with your FI and see what you both want, and go from there.<strong> Some commands will require a special request chit to get married, basically they want to make sure you aren't marrying an illegal alien or anything like that.</strong> HTH
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

Not the Air Force.