gahhh! :/

holycrapitsalexa

So...my fiance and I are very fortunate that my parents have offered to take care of the entire wedding in regards to finances. We could not be more greatful for this! However, it seems the guest list is getting completly out of hand...

FMIL gave me a list a month ago for their side of the family. There were exactly 42 on her list, including his parents and sister (who is also my MOH). My moms list on the other hand, not so much. She currently has a list of around 150 and it's growing! Fiance and I are not inviting many of our friends - just our closest. With fiance being Army, most of his buddies won't be able to make the trip as it is.

As if my moms list isn't enough, we were at a sports banquet this afternoon for my little brother and she invited someone that lets just say I wouldn't have exactly invited myself! I am definitely sending her an invite now. I think it would be rude not to if she has already been verbally invited.

As if that isn't enough! She continues to complain about how she and my dad are spending so much money on the wedding. Uhhh...hello?! They want to pay for the wedding and I know they wouldn't have it any other way but an easy way to cut down on spending....cut down on the guest list!

I realize that since my parents are throwing in all of the cash for the wedding, the guest list and who they invite is really their business, right? But I feel like it is going to be super awkward when I meet all of these people for the first time at my wedding...."Hi, nice to meet you, Thanks for coming..." Maybe that's just me and I am overanalyzing!

OK. End of vent!

Sammy0709

It may feel weird but like you said, they are paying. I would talk to her about how you feel the awkwardness of meeting new people at your wedding. In the end it will be her decision. In all honesty, if I received an invite for the wedding of a family member of a friend or coworker and I didn't know the person getting married, I probably wouldn't go. I'd just send a card because I'd feel just as awkward being there.

ggirl2001

I get that it would be weird and its annoying, but they are paying. My mom also had a tendency to mention how much they were paying, but when I offered to contribute more and/or suggested that we scale back some things, my parents ignored me haha. Just let them go. If your mom is like mine, she might just like to complain. 

calindi

Have you tried showing her what your ideal guest list would look like?  Might be she thinks you want a big wedding so you get lots of gifts?  I've heard of crazier things.

What about showing her a list of the people you really want there, and say something like, "These are the people who are important to me and FI to be invited.  If you'd like to invite the rest, that's fine as I know you guys are hosting this party so it's your choice, but just know if you want to cut costs, I'd be okay with those other people not being invited."

Worth a shot, yes?

holycrapitsalexa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_gahhh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8471821d-a6cd-497c-a2d0-40778903ebedPost:4f434d17-8918-4491-b820-212f55a6d29c">Re: gahhh! :/</a>:
[QUOTE]Have you tried showing her what your ideal guest list would look like?  Might be she thinks you want a big wedding so you get lots of gifts?  I've heard of crazier things. What about showing her a list of the people you really want there, and say something like, "These are the people who are important to me and FI to be invited.  If you'd like to invite the rest, that's fine as I know you guys are hosting this party so it's your choice, but just know if you want to cut costs, I'd be okay with those other people not being invited." Worth a shot, yes?
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

I actually did this last night..She gave me her massive guest list and I then went off that and wrote up my guest list for her. I am hoping it works or at least she understands where I am coming from now! Thanks for that! :)