He's home

divinemsbee

FI got home from IFS last night, after 4 months (not all of that IFS obviously) it's so good to see him again. Most of my stuff is here now and we're going to move the major furniture this weekend. Woot!

In worse news, he washed out of IFS and failed his last flight. So did 9 others up there, the course was recently re-jiggered, so that's that. He's likely (knock on wood) to be re-classified becuase of his math degree and his skill set, hopefully we'll know a little more this evening. It sucks to be back in this place of not knowing when/where we'll be moving. I'm looking for a job down here, and with the economy the way it is, it's hard to get a job when you may leave before you get your 3rd paycheck. I had originally applied to places with the understanding that we'd be here at least a year because of flight school, but now I feel really dishonest to say that. I don't want to get hired and then get a reputation with an employer as flaky because I left suddenly. I could probably stay here a little while once he leaves to wherever, but there's no way I can afford rent on this place without his help. I'm just trying to keep his spirits up and get things done here.

 You, anonymous internet strangers (who are awesome) are the only people I've told and I can't freak out in front of him because then he'll freak out and that's just counterproductive. And here's the question: I've decided, and he agrees, that we aren't going to tell my family too much about this situation becuase they don't know much about the military and this news would likely cause some nervousness about my recent move down here. The minute we know anything about what's happening, we'll tell them, but adding more people who have no idea what's going to happen worrying just seems like a bad idea to me. Do you think this is ok, only for a week or so until we have a better idea of what's up? I'm thinking especially of my grandmother, I really don't want her to worry. His family knows what's up, they're just less likely to freak too much, and our families are not in contact except through us.

YoungDuo

I'm sorry to hear that you'll have to be moving again soon. If you think your family will get nervous or freak or anything, I would wait to tell them to you have more definite plans. That way it will sound more stable to them, especially since you said you just to be with him in the first place.  And with the job situation, when you applied, you were being honest about how long you planned to stay there. If it's a military town (which i assume it is) they are probably used to a higher turnover rate and people leaving more abruptly then non military towns. If you get an interview, I would maybe bring it up then, but not until that.

On a happier note..YAY to your FI being home with you at last

calindi

Please don't feel guilty about applying for jobs without divulging that you may be moving.  There are never any guarantees with hiring unless you sign a contract for a specific time period, and only certain professions require this.  It's sad but true - military spouses & significant others face discrimination for the regular relocations that are beyond our control.  There is NO REASON you have to divulge this information.  With small businesses, I probably would be more hesitant to apply because I'd feel bad leaving them in the lurch, but big businesses churn out employees regularly and you shouldn't give them any more consideration than they give you.

Read the book "Play like a Man, Win like a Woman."  Most men don't think about these emotional connections to work - guilt towards leaving, etc.  They view it as a business transaction rather than a personal interaction, and it has definitely improved my confidence in the work place (both interviewing and while hired) by reading that book.  I think it might have some insight for you!