Army Fiancee... need some wedding planning/advice

DaKelliAB09

OK so my fiancee and I have been together for a little over a year.  The whole relationship has been pretty much long distance due to him being stationed everywhere but close to me and we both agree that it's been good for us because we know we can handle being apart (even though it's not fun) for when he does have to deploy because we know it's going to happen whether we want it to or not! I just love him sooo much!!  But I just moved up to Alaska AND so exciting He just recieved his official orders that he's coming to Alaska in August! I'm way excited.  OK on to the wedding stuff.  We picked a date:  March 17, 2012 now we just have to pick where...  He's from Oregon, I'm from Oklahoma, we're going to be living in Alaska.  We're both not sure where we should have it at.  We've thought about picking a place in between Oregon and Oklahoma and even though Alaska is beautiful it's so far for our family and friends. . Any suggestions?? Any ideas will be GREATLY appreciated! THANKS!

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_army-fiancee-need-wedding-planningadvice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8878e95d-bf5e-4799-bf06-4acd31477c18Post:5d9b4e23-e4d4-49be-820c-9960775004b4">Army Fiancee... need some wedding planning/advice</a>:
[QUOTE]OK so my fiancee and I have been together for a little over a year.  The whole relationship has been pretty much long distance due to him being stationed everywhere but close to me and we both agree that it's been good for us because we know we can handle being apart (even though it's not fun) for when he does have to deploy because we know it's going to happen whether we want it to or not! I just love him sooo much!!  But I just moved up to Alaska AND so exciting He just recieved his official orders that he's coming to Alaska in August! I'm way excited.  OK on to the wedding stuff.  We picked a date:  March 17, 2012 now we just have to pick where...  He's from Oregon, I'm from Oklahoma, we're going to be living in Alaska.  We're both not sure where we should have it at.  We've thought about picking a place in between Oregon and Oklahoma and even though Alaska is beautiful it's so far for our family and friends. . Any suggestions?? Any ideas will be GREATLY appreciated! THANKS! :)
Posted by DaKelliAB09[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I would wait on planning and booking anything until he checks into the command and gets an idea of deployment schedules.  Instead of scrambling to change everything, you're better off just waiting to get a better idea.</div><div>
</div><div>As for where to have it, that's up to you.  You can choose to have a DW that cuts the difference for people, or you can just pick one of the 2 locations.  Some things to consider would be where a majority of your guests are.  If 100 guests would be coming from Oregon and only 30 from Oklahoma, I would probably have it in Oregon.  But if it's pretty much 50/50 then ir's up to you.  Also, I would look into the value for your money for both locations.  If the same style reception would cost $50/head in one state and $100/head in the other, go for the cheaper one. </div><div>
</div><div>Another thing to consider is the help you would have where you are planning.  Planning a DW is hard, but if you have someone you completely trust, like a parent or aunt, you could send them to check out venues for you and give you your opinion.  It's not impossible to plan without checking the places out, but you would be going off of pictures and the opinion of strangers.  </div><div>
</div><div>That's the best advice I have for now, but if you have more specific questions, ask away.  This is a great place for advice and ideas.  I'm a Navy wife, and there are SO's and SM's from all branches here.  Welcome to the board!</div><div>
</div>

SamiJoeB

Beachy always gives stellar advice.

My H was from the WA/OR area, while I'm from the South. We knew that only my immediate family would come even if we had our wedding in NC, whereas H had tons of family in WA, OR, ID who would come no matter what. My family (extended family) is just not that into weddings. We got married in WA, because more of his family could come (we had a really small wedding anyway).

Also, Like Beach said, wait until he checks into his command, because he could get there and then find out he'll actually be deployed for the date you picked. After he finds out a deployment schedule then it's safer to start planning. Keep in mind though, that deployments can always be moved up so I wouldn't reccomend planning within weeks of a deployment. I would suggest trying to pick a date near a holiday, just because it's easier to get leave during those times.

Welcome to the Board!!

calindi

Good advice from the ladies, as usual. I will second having someone I. The area where you are getting married who is legitimately happy to help you plan. My Mom found the most incredible caterer, and has managed to wade through about 20 florists to make a final pick. It would be much more of a gamble without having her there. I do all the legwork research from here, and she then goes and looks at things and meets with people and does tastings and takes pictures. Invaluable!!! We booked our venue sight-unseen. My parents went to visit, but I found it on StyleMePretty and had done pricing research, etc. before I sent them out. You can totally do it anywhere with a little support and a lot of research!

kyrgyzstan

All the ladies are giving great advice, I have a question. How long have you guys actually dated in the same place?

DaKelliAB09

Thanks so much for the advice!! It's so awesome having this board and having people to talk to and get advice from!! Anyways we did pick a date but it's not set in stone and we both know that! But he did say that the unit he will be with is about to come back from over seas and the army is doing 2 years here 1 year deployed so he said he shouldn't get deployed anytime soon, but we know things could change but we would like to have a spring/summer wedding and also give our families plenty of planning time too.  But the biggest thing is picking a location! lol We're both not picky and don't care where we have it and our families are the same way!! Guess we're just a really indecisive bunch! lol jk! But he has a small family and they're all pretty much in southern oregon/norther california and my family is spread all over the US even though I grew up in OK.  But I really didn't think too much about having someone to go and look at places for me so I will definitely need to pick a place where I have someone dependable to do some looking for me ... Well thanks again for the advice!! It's very much appreciated!!

DaKelliAB09

We dated in the same place for about 7months

kyrgyzstan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_army-fiancee-need-wedding-planningadvice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8878e95d-bf5e-4799-bf06-4acd31477c18Post:0179ccac-5c79-4e33-8df3-1d3d5a6605ca">Re: Army Fiancee... need some wedding planning/advice</a>:
[QUOTE]We dated in the same place for about 7months
Posted by DaKelliAB09[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ahh, I was confused by...

<div>[QUOTE]OK so my fiancee and I have been together for a little over a year.  The whole relationship has been pretty much long distance due to him being stationed everywhere but close to me
Posted by DaKelliAB09[/QUOTE]</div></div><div>
</div><div>I was just nervous for you, because I tend to think long distance relationship time should be counted like half together relationship time, and I was just going suggest you guys live in the same place for a while. If you're comfortable with that 7 months, then the other ladies have given great advice.</div>

DaKelliAB09

Yeah and he's getting stationed up here in August so we'll be in the same place again!

LuluP82

Yup, what everyone else said.

For us, we had family in the South (me), family in the Northeast (him), friends all over the place, but mostly in the Northeast since we'd lived there previously for 5 years at least, and then extended family who were must-haves all over the world. Originally, we were thinking of my parents' home town where I went to high school, because I thought it would be cheaper and since it's traditional, we figured people would deal with it better. In the end, my parents meant well but it was stressing me out to have them in charge. So we ended up picking the DC area, because it's where we were living at the time (we'd only been there a few months, so it seemed a bit strange at first) and because it has 3 airports (for the folks flying in from all over the world/country), train stations (easy for the northeastern folks), and it was close-ish for both the folks from the South and the Northeast to drive if they so chose.

Granted, I'm not super picky, so I just went to a venue, got the available dates in a certain month my H would have leave and went from there.

firsttimersluck

My FI and I are stationed in washington state, but AAALL of his family is in TN so we originally started planning for down there. We realized that everything is much more expensive down there >_< and then his squadron decided that around our wedding is the perfect time for training (kidding.. totally accidental we know that :P) so if we have it down there, we would have to fly back that NIGHT to make it here for his training on Monday.... That definitely changed our decision. We're now tying the knot here in Washington, which has made planning a lot easier since everything is right in front of us. Family will travel, and I'm happy to have less stress because of it.

That's my personal story has to how we decided, and something to keep in mind is definitely how much help youll have, how much stress itll cause, how early before the wedding you would have to fly somewhere to tie loose ends, what kinda schedule your FI is on, etc. It's a little messy, but you guys will figure it out. Good luck and happy planning!

tr9361a

Hi! Where in Alaska will you be? My fiance is at Wainwright (but in Afghanistan right now).  Welcome!

SamiJoeB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_army-fiancee-need-wedding-planningadvice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8878e95d-bf5e-4799-bf06-4acd31477c18Post:7fcb09d4-a9b6-41b0-a9a8-b7c191920939">Re: Army Fiancee... need some wedding planning/advice</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI and I are stationed in washington state, but AAALL of his family is in TN so we originally started planning for down there. We realized that everything is much more expensive down there />_< and then his squadron decided that around our wedding is the perfect time for training (kidding.. totally accidental we know that :P) so if we have it down there, we would have to fly back that NIGHT to make it here for his training on Monday.... That definitely changed our decision. We're now tying the knot here in Washington, which has made planning a lot easier since everything is right in front of us. Family will travel, and I'm happy to have less stress because of it. That's my personal story has to how we decided, and something to keep in mind is definitely how much help youll have, how much stress itll cause, how early before the wedding you would have to fly somewhere to tie loose ends, what kinda schedule your FI is on, etc. It's a little messy, but you guys will figure it out. :) Good luck and happy planning!
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

Where in WA? I got married in WA!!

SarahP787

Of course, tons of good advice above

My family all live in Ohio, and my Fi's are pretty much all in Virginia. We debated having the wedding in between somewhere, but we decided that didn't make sense if the only reason to have it in between was to be more convienient for the guests - that way *everyone* would have to  travel instead of just half. We ended up going with Ohio, partially because I don't know anyone in Virginia to help me plan and it's too far for me to travel there all the time.

DaKelliAB09

All of the advice is so awesome!! Thanks a bunch!! I think we're going to do what some of you said look at venues in both places and just figure out which one will be cheaper and go from there! We were originally thinking of picking a place in betweet BUT if we did that we wouldn't have anybody to go chech any places out for us! We're really not picky as to where we have it!!

Thanks again for all of the advice!! And all of the welcomes!!!

DaKelliAB09

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_army-fiancee-need-wedding-planningadvice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8878e95d-bf5e-4799-bf06-4acd31477c18Post:8db04987-3fe0-4cfe-a6bf-190d41e03de3">Re: Army Fiancee... need some wedding planning/advice</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi! Where in Alaska will you be? My fiance is at Wainwright (but in Afghanistan right now).  Welcome!
Posted by tr9361a[/QUOTE]

Hi! He will be at Wainwright also!!

firsttimersluck

Sami- We're getting married in Bellingham.
Stationed out at Whidebey Where did you get married?

firsttimersluck

I love Alaska. I was born on elemdorf airforce base there in achorage, and we stere stationed in anchorage and fairbanks as well. love it

DaKelliAB09

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_army-fiancee-need-wedding-planningadvice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8878e95d-bf5e-4799-bf06-4acd31477c18Post:6c546f78-a9ca-480f-a3aa-492bb4130b3d">Re: Army Fiancee... need some wedding planning/advice</a>:
[QUOTE]I love Alaska. I was born on elemdorf airforce base there in achorage, and we stere stationed in anchorage and fairbanks as well. love it :)
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

 Alaska is amazing! I love it!!! I actually moved up here b/c my brother is in the Air Force and has been stationed up here for 3 years and it had been 2 years since I had seen him so I found a job and moved up here and we had no idea where my fiance was going to be stationed at.  He put in for Alaska and go it ! we're super excited!! He loves Alaska too!! He was up here a few years back!.

SamiJoeB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_army-fiancee-need-wedding-planningadvice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8878e95d-bf5e-4799-bf06-4acd31477c18Post:e68ab0f8-913c-46c1-a5f3-dfd03def758e">Re: Army Fiancee... need some wedding planning/advice</a>:
[QUOTE]Sami- We're getting married in Bellingham. Stationed out at Whidebey :) Where did you get married?
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]


I was stationed up at Whidbey!! I got married in Union though, at Alderbrook (<a href="http://www.alderbrookresort.com/" target="_blank" title="Alderbrook">http://www.alderbrookresort.com/</a>), it's closer to Bremerton.

becca87678

I have the same sort of situation, OP. My FI is from NJ, I'm from Ontario, Canada. FI is currently stationed in California with the Navy. We love California and decided that our wedding will be there for three reasons.
1) It's where we live and what we love.
2) It's basically equally out of the way for everyone so no family gets upset that the other is being favored. 
3) We want a small and intimate wedding. So it works out nicely because not too many extended realtives would consider travelling all the way out there for the wedding.

We're doing a "reception" type celebration (not a VR) in both NJ and Canada for friends/family though so no one feels terribly excluded. A deployment might throw a wrench into the two celebrations so they might come later. What we're doing is another alternative to having one huge wedding in a place "between" that no one really has any attachement to. Good luck!

firsttimersluck

Becca- My Fi's family has decided they want to throw US a "reception" this Christmas for the same reason.. haha.. we were a little confused at first but.. whatever if they want to throw us a party, we won't complain!

Sami- What squadron was he with when you guys were up here?!? That's awesome. I loveX100 that venue!
We wanted something close and affordable which is how we found our bellingham venue (I go to school at western so am up in the area all the time, and it's at the Ferry Terminal there= it's state owned, which makes it reasonably priced. ) 

DaKelli- YES I loved it when I lived there. We won't ever get the chance to be stationed up there, but we are considering taking an Alaskan Cruise out of Seattle this summer. I want to see glaciers! 

DaKelliAB09

Becca - Yeah I think one thing my fiance and I have been doing is trying to please everyone else and not really ourselves and after reading the comments on here  and yours it's made us realize that we just need to pick a place that we love and not stress over everyone else and we've realized that the most important people in our lives will come to our wedding no matter where it's at! )) ...
I actually feel really relieved!

DaKelliAB09

  [/QUOTE]DaKelli- YES I loved it when I lived there. We won't ever get the chance to be stationed up there, but we are considering taking an Alaskan Cruise out of Seattle this summer. I want to see glaciers! 
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

Awww that would be really cool!! Years ago My mom talked about doing that cruise and now both of her kids are up here! lol Well my fiance and I will be stationed up here for 3 years I think. We're way excited!! The weather right now is amazing!!! I definitely don't miss Oklahoma's 100 plus degree weather!!

SamiJoeB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_army-fiancee-need-wedding-planningadvice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8878e95d-bf5e-4799-bf06-4acd31477c18Post:56a3715d-1c17-4f04-b265-e3bef4e6b42b">Re: Army Fiancee... need some wedding planning/advice</a>:
[QUOTE]Sami- What squadron was he with when you guys were up here?!? That's awesome. I loveX100 that venue! We wanted something close and affordable which is how we found our bellingham venue (I go to school at western so am up in the area all the time, and it's at the Ferry Terminal there= it's state owned, which makes it reasonably priced[/QUOTE]

I was with 129.