Military Brides

Do i have a reason to worry?

 im a soon to be Navy wife, me and my fiance have been together for almost seven years now and plan to tie the knot in june, but he lives in bremerton and i live in gresham....we're abnout 200 miles apart or more. recently ive been reading posts on his facebook from a female friend about meeting up[ at her hotel room, should i be freaking out?

Re: Do i have a reason to worry?

  • edited December 2011
    Maybe I'm a little biased, but I always hold to the thought that no matter how cliche, honesty really is the best policy.  If something worries/concerns/bothers you, you need to bring it up to your FI/SO immediately.  Not necessarily in a judgmental, accusational way, but a, "Hey, what's up with this?  Little confused" can go a long way to straighten out potential misunderstandings.

    To me, communication in a relationship is priority number one.  Half the time the dudes don't even know that what they're doing is upsetting their girls; they're kind of oblivious like that.  It even works in reverse, too.  Gotta trust that he loves you enough and you love him enough that if you bring up that something's making you uncomfortable in a gentle, nonconfrontational way, he's going to listen.

    TL;DR version: Don't worry about anything being sketch until you ask him what's up.  And do it in such a way that doesn't sound like you're pointing fingers, just that you're being curious.
  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't say you should be freaking out, but personally I would be asking him about it.  I would assume you don't have anything to worry about, because if something sketchy was going on, I doubt he would leave the posts up for you to see (unless he was trying to get caught).  

    I would just call him and talk to him about it.  LDR"s are tough, and it's important that you are completely honest and have full trust.  Without being confrontational, just ask what's the deal with this girl posting about a hotel room.  It could be some inside joke you aren't aware of, or completely innocent.  But until you ask him, it's all speculation.  

    If it ends up purely innocent, I personally would still be having a talk with him about the appropriateness of the situation in general.  But everyone is differnet, and every relationship is different.  Clearly you aren't comfortable with it though either, or you wouldn't be asking about it.  
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  • edited December 2011

    I second what Beach said.. If you didn't already think you should be worried, you wouldn't ask us.

    You need to ask your FI. Even if he doesn't mean anything by it, She might. I had that happen with my H. This girl started leaving posts on his FB basically talking dirty to him.. ON HIS FB with everyone to see. He took it off, but we pretty much saw it at the same time. I fortunately knew the girl from when H and I were stationed together and knew what a skank she was (she used to get guys numbers and then send them naked pictures of herself.. can we say desperate?). I still said something to him about it, and was assured that he did not provoke her or anything, so I felt alot better. I of course being the Mean Girl that I am sent her a really snotty message before H and I both decided to delete our FB's all together (that was just the final straw in a line of FB incidents). I understand the benefits of FB but for H and I the cons outweigh the pros. I have been FB free for almost a year!!

    Sorry to lay my whole story out there for you.. Bottom line, it's probably nothing, but better safe than sorry!! Plus, I'm like 45 mins from Bremerton, so just say the word I'll get herWink

  • edited December 2011
    Bring it up. My husband and I were having the same issues. He had a FB account before we got married and it literally had every single female he ever hooked up with on it. When he changed his status to married, all these bitches came crawling out of the woodwork trying to interfere. So I solved that problem quickly! I told him I didn't appreciate it, and he decided to close out that account and made a new one that has only family, other Marines, and friends from high school. There's a few female friends on there, but they are legit friends (as in the females actually speak to me with respect and not try to screw my husband). It's solved ALOT of problems.
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am soon to be an Army wife and we have been together for a while as well... I was reading on his facebook one day and saw how one a his friends had invited him to Austin for a weekend tio stay at a hotel with just her and him. She went on to say how she got free nights at this palce through her work and how she would really like him to be there with her. Now this girl I meet and did not really like because while i was there she was so flirty with Greg that i didnt like her. So when I read this I did question him. Because he is in Texas and I am in Fl. I have no idea what all he does and didnt wantt him to try and hide this one. There was also one other time this happened and If I was you I would question him. He shouldnt have to hide anything especially if your getting married. So just ask him who (whatever her name is) is and see what he says. Take it from there and see what happens
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