Vow Renewal

iluvsk8ers4e

Hello I am new here so forgive me if I mess anything up- but feel free to correct me. I know you're probably thinking "Oh God another one!" but I am just asking advice on how to not be "that girl" if possible. My Hubby and I did a JOP wedding since he was being assigned to Japan and wanted to be together- this was completely OUR decision and we dont blame the military or anything. Our family and friends know we are married, but we are indeed planning a vow renewal or PPD as I see you all call it lol. I browsed the board before posting and I never knew all of the... etiquette I guess you would call it- behind the vow renewal but I was hoping that you could share some advice on how to make it appropriate. We are doing the ceremony part yes- I know that there is some disagreement on that subject, but it will be an outside affair and I would like to have it blessed. The reception will be nice but no more than I would for a nice party or something like that. It is going to be no more than 50 guests. We are not going on a honeymoon or anything. What all should I keep in mind and avoid? I know that this is a touchy subject- I just dont want to make mistakes and have the people that I love thinking less of me for them- I would rather know what to avoid ahead of time. Thanks!

shan87

I don't have a ton of experience here, but I would make sure that your wording on invites, stds or w/e is clear that its a vow renewal or marriage blessing.
I have attended a couple at home receptions or parties after the JOP, the STD said we ran away or we just couldn't wait to be married so we did it, but want you to join us to celebrate on X Date. These were super casual though so perhaps some of the other ladies have better wording and/or advice.

Welcome to married life! Congrats too!

SamiJoeB

Just make sure that everyone knows that they are attending a VR and not a wedding. Make it very clear in the invites, STD's, whatever. If I were in your situation, I would do everything very low key, I wouldn't wear a big poufy white dress, I'm not saying Don't wear a white dress, I'm saying something white, but simple would be classy IMHO. I wouldn't have my father give me away, I would just do everything smaller. I would have a simple cake, simple dress, simple ceremony. But like I said, thats if I were in your situation. Really, Just make sure everyone knows what they are attending.

iluvsk8ers4e

No worries EVERYONE knows that we are already married, and it will be resaid on the invites. I guess what we are thinking of doing isn't formal, but classy? I hope that describes it right... I know it might not be best to have my father walk me down the aisle- but this is one of my reasons for having this; so that my family can have what they want and missed out on originally (I am pretty much letting them plan the day so it's more about the family then us, which makes us all happy! But I do understand what you are saying about why you would not. While I am excited to have a pretty day and all, this is more about our families... No gifts or anything like that. And I like your idea of simple ceremony- all that I really want is the religious part that we didnt get from the JOP. The reception is all about celebrating and feeding/showing our families a good time! Thanks for the suggestions and please keep them coming. Also feel free to correct me is I am doing things wrong- I would rather know before I make a mistake.. that way I can fix it or decide to just own it lol.

SamiJoeB

I Like you!! haha.. I haven't seen that you've done anything wrong, so don't worry so much.

I think that our board gets a bad rap for being bitter hags about VR/PPD/"Weddings". It's not that we are against them, it's when people lie about them, because it never turns out well. Or when they say "We HAD to JOP because he was being deployed, and otherwise I wouldn't know if anything happened to him", the Military doesn't force you to get married, and it's as simple as updating your Page 2/Emergency contact. The only person that has to be a legal family member is the person designated to recieve remains.

You'll learn that on this board we are all pretty blunt and honest. I'll give you my honest opinion, and I'm not worried if I hurt your feelings, what you choose to do with my opinion is up to you(not YOU personally, but any newbie that posts here).

Welcome to the Board and Congrats, BTW.