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She's done it again (FMIL, that is)

Sooo, you guys know about my batshitcrazy FMIL, suffice to say that she's doing it again. It really has become theater of the absurd.

My mom had been trying to keep up an e-mail correspondence with FMIL about the wedding. Through this, it has become pretty clear that FMIL wants nothing to do with it and takes every request for her input or ideas as a request for money (it is not, we have not asked for, nor do we need, nor would we accept his family's money). My mother apparently sent an e-mail a few days ago asking if there were any friends of FMIL's that she would like to invite (FMIL refuses to do an invitation list, so we're just kind of shooting blind when it comes to her family and friends on the list) and if there was anything that we should do at the rehearsal dinner for their family.

Big mistake. So, yesterday FI gets a call from FMIL while he's in class, and a message that he needs to call his father. He also gets a Facebook message from his mother stating that she guesses she will cash out her retirement and buy his share of their house from him (it's weird, the house is in his parents' names and also in his and his brothers, so it's split 4 ways) so that "you can have your party." She also apparently told his father that we were demanding a $2000 rehearsal dinner. I have no idea where she got this figure, as that would be roughly a third of our entire budget. She also stated that she guessed they'd have to sell the house but to "please don't let your brother and dad be homeless--I'l be fine." 

Insanity. I have no idea where she's getting these ideas. She's also laboring under the delusion that she's somehow going to owe my family money after the wedding. I've seen the e-mails my mother wrote her, she doesn't mention money. FI and I are paying for most of the wedding ourselves and my parents and grandmother are kicking in on some things. No one is expecting money from them. I know that they live just above the  poverty line. FI makes more in a month than is in their retirement account. We have never wanted or asked for her or their money. FI already feels guilty that he's in a better financial state at almost 25 than his parents are at their age, it feels like she's just taking cheap shots now. 

At this point, FI is pretty much done with her and her crazy and doesn't want her at the wedding. My mother is still refusing to believe that FMIL is, in fact, nuts, and still wants to meet up with her when we're in MS. I think my mom thinks that I'm exaggerating or being dramatic. I just think continuing to talk to FMIL just gives her more fuel for her paranoid fire. 

/vent over
 Feel free to offer any advice/ass-kickings/etc. 


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Re: She's done it again (FMIL, that is)

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    1.  Your mom needs to stop sending her emails.  If she still feels the need, she needs to CC your FI or your FIL so they can see what is being said. 
    2.  If she's going to be crazy about stuff, I'd stop asking her opinion.  Just tell your mom that your FI has asked that she just be left out of everything until the day of.  If she doesn't like something, tough shyt.  She had her chance to give an opinion and acted an asss. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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    Holy cow, that lady is full of crazy. Have you told her that no one wants her money? BEG your mom to stop contacting her! LOL! Sorry you're getting a peach of a MIL :/

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    edited April 2012
    Sweet Baby Jesus!  I don't think I have ever heard of such craziness.  I would totally have my mom stop contacting her for sure. Yikes.  Y'all aren't going to live close to her are you? 

    Edit: advise for the wedding day...slip her a drink with something in it Wink I know illegal but at least you won't have to deal. 
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    Thanks guys. Yes, I've told my mom repeatedly to stop trying with her because it will lead nowhere good. FI has told FMIL on several occasions that we are taking care of it and just want her input, not her money. My mom is actually more worried that FI is mad at her, which he isn't really, he just hates that FMIL is always going to react with this level of crazy. My mom isn't going to write her anymore e-mails, but seems to think if they get together in person it will go better. I am trying my damnedest to dissuade her from it. Also, I think my mom's going to feel pretty hurt when she gets to MS and FMIL goes MIA when my mom's trying to see her. Because that's what will happen. FMIL has never managed to meet up with me at any point when I've been there without FI. 

    I know a lot of it is that FMIL didn't have a big wedding (they went to the courthouse), so she sees this as unnecessary. We're not having anything gigantic, but I have a large family and FI has lots of friends, so we do want them with us. I think she's kind of looking down her nose at the whole thing. 

    And, no, we will not be living anywhere near them, although she does live in my hometown right now. 
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    Yeah try your hardest to get your mom to rethink meeting up with her.  I mean it sounds like your mom is trying to make this a wonderful time and include everyone.  I would hate to see her get her feelings hurt of FMIL was a total b!tch to her over lunch or something.  Know what I mean?
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    My mom emailed or even met with my mil a total of zero times when it came to wedding planning. There is no need for them to meet or your mom to even email her. If your mom has questions, have your FI ask his mother. If she doesn't want to respond, well then, oh well.
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