Spice up your love life?

calindi

Anyone have any suggestions on getting out of a rut?  Or building sex into a busy schedule so it doesn't feel like it's forced or high-pressure 'now or never'?

With FI in his last semester of law school, and being new puppy parents (who sleeps in our bed), our sex life has taken a serious hit.  I'd love to bring some spark back to it without making it feel like I'm adding pressure to his already stressful schedule.

Any fun ideas or suggestions?

CAB1217

I just had this conversation with H 2 days ago. We're getting way too routine about it, and I am starting to get bored, sadly. Not with him, but with our routine.

His solution was (wait for it....)


Shower sex.

That's all I've got. My shower obsessed husband wanting to spice it up by having shower sex. Sigh... ha ha ha!


I am honestly thinking about taking H to a sex shop and exploring. It's hard when we live with his momma, though. We can't just do it whenever we want. When we move out, I am going to turn into a mega freak.

calindi

Haha, I hear you, Cab!  That's my biggest fear - moving in with my parents this summer will put a serious damper on things, and we're already in a rut.

Taking him to a sex store is a good idea... maybe watching some porn together or something...

divinemsbee

I'll admit sex shops and porn are fun, but if you're already in a position where sometimes it feels like sex is just adding one more thing to a busy schedule, things like that can make it more difficult because then it feels like you're just adding pressure. I've been on both sides of that. 

Also, is there any way that a few nights a week your pup could sleep in her box but in your room. I know it feels a little weird to have animals watch you (cats are weirder than dogs for some reason) but that way you don't have to worry about kicking puppy off. Archie never slept in our bed until FI went TDY, and he'll probably transition back into his box when FI gets back. 

I almost find that pre-meditation of it having to be super awesome makes it worse because it ramps up expectation. Again, that's just in my experience. I think that in it's own weird being-sexy-grown-ups way that literally saying "we're having sex 4 times this week" and making that happen works. Even if it starts out kind of slow and perfunctory, you get into it, and you both know that you're going to do it another couple of days, so there's not all this pressure that it has to shoot the moon because you don't know when you'll do it again. Which generally leads to better sex. I think that they whole trying to find new kinks and positions thing is great for a relationship, but stuff like that generally goes better when you're already on solid ground, sexually, and you're adding; trying to get there from a rut is like trying to make a my Buick go from 0-60 in 1.5 seconds, it's not going to happen and it hurts the car. 

This is all in my experience, so take from it what you will. And I hope everything works out And shower sex is my very least favorite, almost anything else is cool, but shower sex is for special occasions. 

CAB1217

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_spice-up-your-love-life?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:9f5ac3c5-6ad3-4611-8b37-91afb4cd9e9cPost:49419de6-2317-4643-99d9-3c453a5364a1">Re: Spice up your love life?</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha, I hear you, Cab!  That's my biggest fear - moving in with my parents this summer will put a serious damper on things, and we're already in a rut. Taking him to a sex store is a good idea... maybe <strong>watching some porn</strong> together or something...
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

This! Or, inpromptu role play? Not too long ago, I was wearing H's scrubs to bed, and I started joking around about being Dr. CAB, and out of nowhere, we were in rollplay. That was hotter than real roleplay, actually. It was a weekend where MIL was out of town, so that helped, too.

Does puppy have a puppy bed? When I had a pup, she started sleeping with me, and then I had to wean her off of sleeping in my bed. So, I would let her fall asleep, and then bring her down to her bed. She started getting used to it after a little while, and started sleeping the whole night in her own bed. Ohhhh, I miss my little Candy :(

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_spice-up-your-love-life?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9f5ac3c5-6ad3-4611-8b37-91afb4cd9e9cPost:18cb27d7-6591-4ffb-8b1b-a0a742a31c80">Re: Spice up your love life?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Spice up your love life? : This! Or, inpromptu role play? Not too long ago, I was wearing H's scrubs to bed, and I started joking around about being Dr. CAB, and out of nowhere, we were in rollplay. That was hotter than real roleplay, actually. It was a weekend where MIL was out of town, so that helped, too. Does puppy have a puppy bed? When I had a pup, she started sleeping with me, and then I had to wean her off of sleeping in my bed. So, I would let her fall asleep, and then bring her down to her bed. She started getting used to it after a little while, and started sleeping the whole night in her own bed. Ohhhh, I miss my little Candy :(
Posted by CAB1217[/QUOTE]

Gradually getting the puppy on the floor makes a lot of sense.  We'll work on that!

Zeldakins

I was going to suggest what CAB already did lol

Except that I have a jacuzzi in the master bedroom...(literally in the room) so it makes things easier when we want to get all romantic/sexual.

Impromptu role play is a good way to spice things up and it helps to get you out of your comfort zone too.