Planning alone

countrygirl34

My fiance is in the Army and stationed in Germany and I live in the states. He will come home for 2 weeks next month before going back to Germany then deploying in August for 12 months. We're getting married when he comes home for his 30 day leave next fall. I don't know how I'm going to do this with him away

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_planning-alone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9fc09279-c8bf-4730-af37-615df330a25bPost:879bfefa-568c-4100-b855-c172d45247af">Planning alone</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance is in the Army and stationed in Germany and I live in the states. He will come home for 2 weeks next month before going back to Germany then deploying in August for 12 months. We're getting married when he comes home for his 30 day leave next fall. I don't know how I'm going to do this with him away :(
Posted by countrygirl34[/QUOTE]

<div>We weren't too far apart while planning the wedding (2 hours) but I did a ton of stuff during the week with my mom or myself since H and I were only together on weekends.  Find out any ideas he has, or anything he really wants to have input on.  My H said he only cared about helping pick the venues, the food/alcohol, and the GM's attire, and everything else was my choice.  While he is here for the 2 weeks I would maybe schedule a couple tours of venues for 1 day, but that's it.  Enjoy the 2 weeks you have together without focusing on or stressing about the wedding.  And I would definitely sit down and try to figure out a guest list as soon as you can, because that's info you'll need for every vendor you contact.  </div><div>
</div><div>While he is gone, I would narrow down your favorites for each idea to 2 or 3 favorites.  Then you can email him pictures or ideas and ask his opinion.  BUt you're not going to want to spend all of your available talking time to talk about wedding planning, so realize that there are a lot of things he doesn't need or want to hear about.  Things like flowers and your DJ he probably doesn't need or want to give input on, so just choose on your own.  </div><div>
</div><div>Wedding planning is only as stressful as you let it be.  Hopefully you have a pparent, sibling, or friend near you that would want to do stuff with you or help you plan, but if not these boards are full of people with lots of advice and opinions to share.  </div><div>
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countrygirl34

Thank you for the advice. Luckily I do have a few people who said they'd help me when I need it. We have talked about going to look at venues while he's home. We're having our engagement party also the week before he leaves then we're leaving that week for a mini vacation for just us.

SamiJoeB

I just drove through Indiana!!!

Ditto what Beach said. Planning is what you make it. I've just started to miss planning. While you are together set aside some time and ask what his wants/needs are for the wedding. Make sure you know what matters to him (my H is was just the food), and keep him as included as he wants to be. Most G's don't really want to be that involved.. It sounds like you have a while to plan so that'll be nice, and as long as you have some help I'm sure you'll do fine!! Enjoy it!!

prodigalgirl

I'm almost finished with wedding planning.  We live on separate coasts and haven't been able to do a lot of planning together.  Actually, we really haven't been able to do any.  All we did was look at wedding rings and decide on a wedding cake style.

I won't say it's without challenge, but it can be done.

And it's hard at times. 

Thankfully, you've got a great support group here!

firsttimersluck

aww I'm sorry that's sucky.
Have you gotten to visit him over there? You definitely should try to get out there it's incredible
I'm sorry you have to plan alone, but thank goodness for skype at least, right? We did a lot of our planning via skype while FI was deployed. (Now he knows TK as well as I do haha) do you live near family (I know you said you have people near that said they would help... just wasn't sure) so you at least have them to help you and make you feel like you're not alone? Take lots of pictures so he can help choose and feel involved

Kimberly8288

My fiance is deploying training and then deploying to Afghan for the next year, but the bulk of our wedding planning was taken care of because he wanted tobe involved, and the remaining planning has to be taken care of in the four months leading up to it when he is home.  So the next year is just looking at details and figuring out what I think I want, but I toally understand how yucky it is to be thinking of these things on your own

SamiJoeB

Kimberly.. YGPM

shan87

At first I worried that our wedding was not going to be about us because H wasn't really involved, I don't mean to be unsympathic or sound like a brat, but I ending up loving doing all/most of the planning alone/myself. Plus in the end it was us because I know him well enough to add aspects of him into it (ie String Quartet for the ceremony music because H played Cello in HS and Airplane luggage tags as favors because he is a Pilot in the USAF.. etc.)
I asked H what he wanted to be involved in and I took care of the rest. It worked better for us because H had never been to a wedding and no idea what to do or where to start. When he did have an opinion I made sure to make it work since it was so infrequent.
My Mom and In Laws were helpful but not at first becase they kept saying it was so far away, they didn't actually start helping until a couple months before.

GL and if you need help we are here

heather0711

Don't worry, it will all work out! FI is in Afghan right now and will be until about 5 weeks-ish before the wedding so I'm doing everything myself. Luckily my mom is a crazy person and is doing a ton of stuff too. So long as you're not literally doing it completely alone, you'll be fine...promise!!

countrygirl34

Thank you all so much for the kind words. I've been super busy with work lately or I wouldn't responded sooner. Right now he's supposed to be coming home in 3 days for 2 weeks but they're talking about taking that away from him so I won't be able to see him before he deploys if they do. Then we don't have a definite date for the wedding because we don't know when he'll be back stateside. I'm soooo close to just going to the courthouse and getting married there and being done with it. Sorry I'm just SUPER stressed right now.

countrygirl34

He'll be home in a few hours!! Now we have to buckle down and get all the things together for the engagement party next weekend!