Newbie Military Bride

je6576a

Hi all!

I’m not really new to the planning process, but I’m definitely new to the community boards! Since I’ll likely be quite active on this board I wanted to take the time to introduce myself and ask a question. I’m an Alaskan woman who met her Puerto Rican man. Fate would have it that we would meet in New York.

FI and I are planning our wedding for just under a year from now. To be quite honest, we’re having a full military wedding at his request. I would have been much happier eloping. Alas, I caved and I’ve begun warming up to the idea of a “real” wedding in New York with nearly 90% of our guests coming from Alaska and Puerto Rico.

We are now having a full blown military wedding. We’re not so much in to the formalities that are typically associated with traditional military weddings. For instance, I’m considering commissioning the creation of a cotton wedding gown and wearing a feather fascinator. Is this too casual? Or, as another example, we’re having all DIY paper decorations. We’re quirky, eccentric, and whimsical. Do those traits have a place in a military wedding? We don’t want to become consumed with having a “white” wedding when that’s not who we are.

Thank you for your thoughts! I appreciate any advice you have to offer.

SarahP787

What do you mean by a "full blown military wedding"? I think it's certainly possible for you to have a whimsical, more relaxed kind of wedding while incorporating the military.

Edit: Also, hi and welcome!

kyrgyzstan

Welcome! My wedding is also relaxed, but it's very military!

je6576a

We're getting married at West Point and having our reception at the O Club. As much as I hate to think that I'm "keeping up with the Joneses", I would like to respect tradition and fuse it with our personalities.

SamiJoeB

Personally I think that if you're having a military wedding, you can add as much or as little military as you'd like. That being said, if you're going for like the arch of sabers and all that jazz, I tend to feel like it should be a really formal wedding. I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong, because I honestly don't know. I guess I would just say as long as it's respectful, it's a go.

Welcome to the Board and What Branch are you &/or your FI in?

je6576a

We are most definitely going for all that jazz. As funny as it is, my FI has looked forward to having a military wedding since he was little. At least one of us has dreamt of a wedding since we were little We are doing the arch of sabers and using his saber to cut our cake and all that jazz. I tend to agree with you, SamiJoeB. It doesn't help that when the O Club sent their brochure it was full of formal weddings.

Hmm...I guess we'll have to go a bit against the grain! We're a bit offbeat. Perhaps we'll have to find a way to join tradition with our eccentricities.

We're Army; FI graduates and commissions soon! We're very excited, as it means we can live together and no longer have to do the long distance thing. While we are excited, we have many concerns about the future. For instance, we're concerned about my career, our extended family, and culture. Does anyone have any advice or recommendations?

kyrgyzstan

What is your career? I know certain careers have trouble relocating (doctors, attorneys, teachers at the moment, etc.), but others don't.

I think you'll find a lot of others you can culturally identify with. 

Not getting to be as close to family is one of the things you just kind of have to deal with. I love my family, but we're not super crazy close, and I would be down to be stationed OCUNUS. There's always Skype, I know a lot of my friends who are close to their families use it often.

Beachy730

I am extremely close with my family, and have a great group of friends that I've been friends with since high school.  It was really difficult for me at first to think about moving clear to the other side of the country as all of them (they are all in NY).  But for me, it hasn't really been that difficult.  We've been out here since September, and I've only gone home once at Christmas since H was deployed.  I Skype with people a lot, and between phone calls, texts, and pix messages, I don't feel that far away at all.  

As for the job situation, ditto Stan about it just depends on the field you go into.  I'm a teacher, and right now I'm not able to teach because no schools were hiring here.  I was able to get a different job for the short time we are here, and hopefully can teach at our next station.  The difficult thing for teachers, doctors, lawyers, etc. is that you need specific licensing in each state, so it can be expensive when you move.  Also, you may need to retake exams for certifications.  If you decide on a career that doesn't need state licensing I assume it would be easier to find work when you move.

akh016

My Fiancé is in the military we had a small civil ceremony and were married last week.  Now we getting ready to send Save the Dates and are coming up short on wording.  People will see my now Husband wearing a wedding ring.  How do we announce this and still have people come to our official ceremony and reception next year?.  Please help we need wording suggestions….  THANK YOU!!!

LetsHikeToday

OP- Hi and welcome to the board.

I don't know much about military weddings, we had no mention of the military in ours; however, I did do my paper products DIY.

They came out REALLY beautiful and everyone thought I had gotten them from a stationary store. Just because you DIY doesn't mean it has to take away from the look of it.

I am a teacher and I probably will not be finding a job when we move to Georgia. I'm going to try to find a job doing something else. H and I had a hard time picking whose job we would keep. Would we stay in VA and have him find a job? Or would we stay in the Navy and me find a job? We decided because of the cost of living here, if he couldn't find a job right away, we'd struggle. So we decided to stay in the Navy and I would be the one job hunting. It's hard. I have built a wonderful reputation at my school and in this community but at the same time, I try to think of it as an adventure.

calindi

Hi and welcome!

I'd say that the wedding should be as formal as the uniform he chooses to wear.  If he's wearing mess dress, then you should be similarly formal.  That doesn't mean you have to wear a big poofy gown or something that doesn't suit your personality and style - it just means a plain cotton sheath might be a bit too casual.  I'm sure you can find something that suits you and is still comparable to the formality of the uniform!  I'm a big fan of lace since it isn't too flashy but it has a certain element of upscale elegance.  I'm not a flashy person, though my Mom keeps trying to push 'bling'.  I think the feather fasinator sounds great, as it will really show your personality!

Check out the Offbeat Wedding board under Themes - they might have some great ideas for you on how to really show your personality and not have a cookie-cutter wedding.  I think you can do literally whatever you want.  Ask him what elements he wants for a military wedding - I presume that he'll wear a uniform, an arch of swords (if he's an NCO or Officer - lower ranking enlisted can't do this), cutting the cake with a sword/saber... is there anything else he envisions?  What do you envision?  I like the DIY paper decorations - can we see an inspiration image?  You should create a planning bio!  Check out Weebly.com (you can see mine in my siggy below, if you want.  A lot of girls have them)