Help. Advice & Opinions Needed.

tyleet87

So I jump on this site every now and again when I am looking for information that I can't find on my own. I was so glad to see that they had a military board! My fiancé just graduated from basic training. He's now at Benning for OCS. Does anyone have experience with this place? Realistically what are the rules like? I hear at week 6 they can have family come visit. Do they get an off post pass? Any good ideas I should consider? Any bad ideas to stay away from?

When someone is recycled does that mean they have to start over and stay longer then 12 weeks? Is there any advice you can share regarding paperwork or anything in general right before or after we get married? Im doing everything on my own right now and we really don't know what to expect so any advice is welcome. Thanks!

calindi

Hi and welcome!  I'm marrying a Marine, so I'm not too much help on most of your questions, but there are plenty of ladies who should be able to help.

There are a few books that might help - check out "Married to the Military" (the bright pink book) which has a lot of Army-specific information.

TeamBaby

Are you down there at Benning with him?  As for "rules," it all depends on his company commander.  Some companies will have every weekend free from Day 1, others won't get one at all.  Like I said, it's at the commander's discretion.  He won't have any off post privileges during the week until towards the end.  The weekdays are a little different.  For the first few weeks he'll have study hall all night- which means he can't leave the company area.  After about a month or so, he'll be able to have an "on-post" pass during the evenings.  At which point he'll be able to go to the PX or anywhere else on post.  He most likely won't be able to leave post on the weekdays until the last couple weeks of the course.  It's been a while since I went through, so I don't remember the exact timelines.

As for being recycled- it depends on what it's for.  If he fails a test (and the retest), he'll be recycled into the class (company) behind him- which is usually about 2 weeks behind.  If he's recycled for disciplinary reasons, he could be sent back to Day 1.  If he overall "fails to adapt," or fails his leadership evals, worst case- he'll be put out of OCS and will be reclassed as an enlisted Soldier with the rank of E4 and an MOS that the Army picks for him.

SamiJoeB

Hello!! Welcome to the Boards!!

I'm not tooo familiar with the Army.  I'm not sure that having all of the locations as well as his company in your post is a good idea.  Like I said though, I'm not 100% sure, so hopefully someone will correct me.  As a military spouse OPSEC/PERSEC are really important (Some posters will have a Military Newlywed FAQ button, you can click that and read up on OPSEC/PERSEC).  If someone is "recycled" yes, they will have to go back (not necessarily the whole 12 weeks, it could be the full 12 weeks.  If someone gets hurt (broken bones, very sick, ect) in like week 5 they would join a company who's in week 5 and finish with them.  As for what to expect?  I mean, the only thing that you really need to do is to be supportive of him.  Write him letters when you can, if he can call just be upbeat and positive.  He'll let you know if/when you can visit, and what his restrictions are for his liberty. 

As for the wedding, you still have a while so that's good.  Check with the county/state you're getting married in for your marriage certificate (it varies by state, some states you can get it up to 6 months in advance, while in some you can apply, but there's a waiting period..) You'll have to everything in order (Marriage Certificate signed & filed, SS card with new last name (if you're changing your name), POA, there may be more I'm forgetting) before you go and enroll in DEERS & Tricare. 

Military wives/SO's can be really gossipy.  Don't put too much stock in what you hear, unless you're hearing it from your FI (or a reliable source), not what 19 y/o Betty Jo who has 3 kids under 3 heard on FB (just an example, I'm not saying anything bad about military wives.. I mean I am one.. ya know).

This board (and the Military Nestie's Board on the Nest) are really helpful and full of really knowledgeable Ladies, who can give you advice on everything from Tricare dental to PCSing overseas with pets.. Just post any questions you have, and I HTH's!!

calindi

Oooooh and since no one mentioned it yet (that I saw anyway), be sure to get military clauses in the contracts with each of your vendor!  This isn't legal advice, but many of the girls have found that it can be quite helpful in case of a deployment or other military commitment issues that interfere with your wedding.  It doesn't come standard with most vendors, though if they refuse to add it, then I'd be hesitant to work with them!

tyleet87

Oh wow. Thanks for all the advice! So upon flying home yesterday from his graduation I got a voicemail from him saying that his DS does not want them to use their phones at all. Majorly upset over that. I thought I was actually going to be able to communicate with him rather than writing letters. I don't know what is going on or going to happen which just ruins any chances of planning anything.  I know at week 6 they can have family visits but I don't know when exactly that will be because I have no idea when they start counting day 1. I think he's at reception (or whatever it's called) still.

And knowing our luck they will take it away or they'll be stuck in the field or he'll have to study for an exam or something. Honestly I feel there is nothing positive coming out of the Army and I'm scared at what else will come at us. Anyway, that's beside the point.

I'm not at Benning (wish I was!) I live in California so I will try to get over there to see him at week 6 as well as graduation. It makes it so hard to plan anything when everything is so uncertain! Even up to the day of family day for basic they gave us different information. Said he would get an off post pass but instead we had to stay on base which was so frustrating!

I do have a book (I think it might be the one you mentioned) so I'll try to finish reading it. Just hard to do when you have a full time job and trying to plan a wedding and have a life.

My FI is so by-the-books I'm not worried about him getting recycled. I'm worried about the other guys there who might want to and have an opportunity to get him in trouble for whatever reason. I just can't do more than the 12 weeks he already has to do.

What is a military clause? Is it in case he gets sent somewhere like the day before our wedding? I don't even want to think that...

TeamBaby

Calm down.    Things will get more predictable once he starts class.  Things are always a little scary when there are so many "unknowns."  Not sure where he is, but if there are Drill Sergeants, he's not at OCS yet.  (There aren't any DSs at OCS).  As for the phone thing, again, all that stuff is up to the discretion of the comamander.  Give it some time.  If I were you, I'd wait on planning that Week 6 trip.  ANYTHING can happen- even at the last minute- and they could not be allowed to go anywhere.  I would really just save your money and plan to go out during graduation week.  But again, once class starts and he gets a feel for how his company is, he can probably give you more info.  Don't freak out about stories of Reception.  All Receptions suck and it's not a very good indicator of how the Army really is.

As for someone "getting him in trouble," that's not possible if he is always doing the right thing.

Here is the link to the official Ft Benning OCS page.  Especially read the OCS SOP (Standard Operating Procedures).  This will give you a ton of information on what he's experiencing and will probably help calm your nerves a bit.   

https://www.benning.army.mil/infantry/199th/OCS/index.htm

I've been through OCS- it's not as scary as you think. 

LetsHikeToday

I know it's new and different for you but just try to hang in there and don't get too frustrated.

Keep it in perspective. My H will be on subs and we won't be able to talk or write letters. We will get e-mails here and there but they will be days late.

Time will go fast.

What are your plans after his graduation?

tyleet87

Sorry for all the rambling. It's been 2 weeks since he got there and I am pretty sure I now have figured everything out. He IS at OCS, and I'm just not familiar with terms or people yet.

Well he is reserves, so when he comes home in November, he will look for a FT job and continue to work with his Army schedule. I know his unit at home were sent away and he missed going with them because he was in training, so I think it'll be a while before they get sent anywhere again.

We're getting married about 6 months after he gets home and I know sometime after that we are going back to MO for his MP school. I'm taking a LOA from work and going with him because I just can't be away from him for that long again...at least, not when I have a choice.

Thanks for all your help everyone!