Long distance plus special force training

Autotechblondie

It's so hard to plan for a wedding in 10 months plus with my baby going to special force training and top it all off we are living in different states now until I go to college it sucks lol

SamiJoeB

I planned my wedding while my H was in another country in about 5 months.  It's do-able.  Welcome to the board!  Tell us more about yourself, and your FI! also, read up on OPSEC and PERSEC!  Welcome!!

Zimsgirl

I definitely think it's do-able! Stick around and tell us about yourself!

crownsuperstar

Welcome to the board.  We did the entire planning long distance.  Now he did get to come down and was able to get e-mails and look at the vendors websites so that was helpful!

AmandaSC1988

Is there a 'I don't know' option? Once there isn't, I am going to just say "Yes" you should probably wait, because from the little bit of information you gave us. if you gave us a little more information I might have picked a different choice! So please, Tell us about yoursrelf!

I have been planning my wedding with my FI 1000 miles away. It has worked out just fine for us, but all the major decisions we have squeezed into one of his weekend trips home...the other stuff we have skyped and talked over the phone. I don't think guys care either way (at least mine didn't) and it is a nice distraction from him being gone.

calindi

You'll be fine!  My FI lives with me, and he doesn't have a clue about wedding planning and absolutely no desire to be involved.  It depends on how he is - does he WANT to plan it, or would he prefer to have you handle it all?  If he'd prefer you do it, it probably won't make it much different!

kara811

It's totally do-able to plan a wedding without your FI there, if anything, it even makes it easier and more fun. Many guys don't care much about wedding planning anyway except for things like food/alcohol and their attire. Although there are guys who do like to be hands on, I don't know you or your FI well enough to say if he's like that or not. 

I planned our wedding in about the same time frame as you. H was stationed overseas and was on deployment for most of it so I was really on my own. He was able to help me as much as he can though. I used to email him pictures of everything since he wanted to at least have some input. This is something that you should discuss with your FI and ask what he'd like to do. 

kyrgyzstan

I voted that you should wait. But more info would be helpful. How old are the two of you? Is this his first MOS/A-School? Or did he lat move into SF? When will you graduate college?

ggirl2001

I need more info to really vote and give you an accurate answer. However, it is possible to plan a wedding without your FI living near you.  I was living in NY, planning a wedding in Florida, and my FI was in SC. It is totally doable. 

firsttimersluck

I voted that you should wait, but because we don't have much information on your situation. 

Welcome to the board! 

Autotechblondie

Lol sorry I never post lol but I am 18 and he is 21 and he just got back home from deployment and is going to special force training. On this birthday. In jan. I am a senior in high school. I am going to NASCAR institute in July and it's only for 15 months and then I graduate from "college"

Autotechblondie

Thank you all

kara811

Knowing more about your story now, you should really wait. You haven't even graduated HS yet, are you sure you are ready for marriage and the difficulties that come with being married to a SM? Were you already together for his last deployment? Are you actually engaged already? 

ggirl2001

I vote wait. Finish school, let him finish training. Look for jobs, move in together, or live near each other, then get married.

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_long-distance-plus-special-force-training?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a44ac1fc-71a5-4542-b78f-1b7f54b2d7fbPost:0b284967-37bc-446a-be8a-b43917f86c3b">Re: Long distance plus special force training</a>:
[QUOTE]I vote wait. Finish school, let him finish training. Look for jobs, move in together, or live near each other, then get married.
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

Yep, this.  High school is fun, you really need to get yourself situated for whatever career you want - ideally go to college.  After all that, then you guys can get married.

Autotechblondie

Lol I'm graduating in 5 months n I have straight a's. I start my college July 30th I'm already accepted n I finished all my soloriship essays and got that done already. We wouldn't have our wedding until like nov

Autotechblondie

Yes we r already engaged n yes I was and I kno how it is bc my dad is in the military

SamiJoeB

Seriously. I'm 23 and I've been married for a year, and it's really hard.  Harder than I ever could have imagined.  My H and I are not in a good place right now and I know that at 18 I didn't have the skills needed for marriage.. Hell at 23 and 27 (My H's age), we're struggling.  If I could do it all over again, I would have waited.  I would have finished college, and moved in with him first.  As it is, I can't do it again.  I Love my H, and while I'm pretty sure that we can work through our current issues, there are times when I think to myself (and to my BFF, Calindi) what did I get myself into? 

Seriously, what harm can come from waiting? you'll be more mature, more financially responsible, he'll probably be higher ranking, you'll have a better nest egg to play with, you'll probably have a steady job.. All positive things.  I know you'll probably just do whatever you want anyway, but I wish someone had told me to wait.. and that I would have listened..

Autotechblondie

Thanks don't get me wrong I just really wanted to hear other people's option on it ya kno? I'm going to college that's only 15 months n I will be won't b 20 when im done. I'll be traveling 10 months out of year for races for NASCAR.

ggirl2001

There is still no reason to not wait. Especially if you are going to be traveling so much. I would wait until college is finished and you do one year of traveling to see how things are. Waiting won't hurt a thing, but rushing will. 

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_long-distance-plus-special-force-training?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a44ac1fc-71a5-4542-b78f-1b7f54b2d7fbPost:268f7936-bd48-4660-a9ad-271642b14279">Re: Long distance plus special force training</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks :) don't get me wrong I just really wanted to hear other people's option on it ya kno? I'm going to college that's only 15 months n I will be won't b 20 when im done. I'll be traveling 10 months out of year for races for NASCAR.
Posted by Autotechblondie[/QUOTE]

Why do you travel with NASCAR?  That's kinda cool, even though I've never seen a race.

Autotechblondie

Lol I am ASE certified I work on cars lol i plan on rebuilding engines for one of the NASCAR teams

kara811

What kind of job will you have, will you be working for NASCAR? That would be so cool! 

IMO, ditto GGirl about waiting until after a year into your job. This way you can see how you two will deal with the relationship with him being in the military and you travelling so much for your job. It won't be an easy situation for you both therefore you should test the waters first. 

ETA: Nevermind the question since you posted before me. Is it a sure thing that you will be working for NASCAR after you're done with school? 

Irishcurls

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_long-distance-plus-special-force-training?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a44ac1fc-71a5-4542-b78f-1b7f54b2d7fbPost:91a3327c-1a06-4ebc-8197-418331f5a60e">Re: Long distance plus special force training</a>:
[QUOTE]There is still no reason to not wait. Especially if you are going to be traveling so much. I would wait until college is finished and you do one year of traveling to see how things are. <strong>Waiting won't hurt a thing, but rushing will. </strong>
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]
Gg is very wise, as are all the other ladies on here! I would enjoy your traveling and (very cool sounding!) job! Take awhile to plan it and just enjoy the process. Once you're an old married lady, thats it. Don't rush it!

Autotechblondie

Lol I pushed it back a year n 9 months n yes I'm for sure that's my job and I plan on being part of a pit crew but I would be behind the scenes rebuilding the engines

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_long-distance-plus-special-force-training?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a44ac1fc-71a5-4542-b78f-1b7f54b2d7fbPost:5a9aa341-2a6e-4b29-b44a-b58eec42bc05">Re: Long distance plus special force training</a>:
[QUOTE]Lol I pushed it back a year n 9 months n yes I'm for sure that's my job and I plan on being part of a pit crew but I would be behind the scenes rebuilding the engines :)
Posted by Autotechblondie[/QUOTE]

That's pretty cool.  Will you check out my car and figure out why it went from 29 mpg to 23 mpg?  I refuse to admit that it's my aggressive driving habits I have adopted and stop-and-go traffic that I have to deal with here in Miami! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

Seriously, though, wait.  Nothing will change once you're married - it might even make it harder in the short term.  Just enjoy having a wonderful boyfriend you're crazy about, work on getting that dream job of yours, and once you both get everything settled and can figure out how you can balance both of your demanding jobs, then plan a wedding.  There's no rush!

In the meantime, you're welcome to hang around here and chat with us ladies.  We tend to be good company!

Autotechblondie

Lol I think ur car is yelling for some help never ever heard of that lol n I'm gonna wait

SamiJoeB

I'm glad to hear that! I hope you stick around here!!

iluvmytxrgr

1. It's Special Forces.  There is an s on the end of it. 
2. Trust me when I tell you that your current attitude about this tells me you need to hold off planning a wedding for quite some time.  If you think planning a wedding around training is something to whine about, you have no clue what you are in for.
3. Yes, I am a subject matter expert when it comes to this. 

CAB1217

Hi. Super way late to this post. IMO, and yes, I am going to come off like a total jerk probably... but I think you should wait, simply because of how you've presented yourself on this post. You sound like you have some growing up to do before you get married. I have a hard time thinking anyone can take you seriously by the way you've come off on this post. This has NOTHING to do with your age. There are many ladies here who are not much older than you are, and present themselves with the maturity that I feel you lack. I am not trying to attack you, but I think that if you want people to think you ARE ready for marriage, you should probably think about presenting yourself as a mature young lady, as opposed to a little high school girl.