Military Brides

I'm in over my head!!!!!!!

Well I'm going to start out with saying that I just started planning. I'm a Marine and he's a Soldier. I'm just wondering where do I start? Our wedding is a Military Wedding to the core. We don't have much decided besides the fact that our colors are blue, white and black. We also know we want to get married before his September deployment next year and its going to be a very small ceremony. His parents aren't supporting our decision and my mother isn't in support of our decision. Only my father, stepmother and my dad's side of the family are supporting our choice. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!!

  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Date
    budget
    guest list
    venue


    start there
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
  • edited December 2011
    Welcome to the Board & Congrats on your engagement!!!! My H is a Marine! He's far away and I miss him bunches!!

    I would probably start with trying to get my family to support my decision to get married..Why is everyone being so un-supportive? It makes me sad when people don't support such a happy thing!!

    Then focus on all the big stuff like the where and when.  Where will the wedding take place? are you from the same state/hometown? are you currently stationed together? are your families willing to travel? how much? You said before next September, so pick out a date (in my experience picking a date around a holiday is helpful because you'll probably already have a 96, or holiday leave period).

    Then decide on a budget.  I'm guessing that the two of you will be footing the bill due to the lack of parental support. So figure out how much you have in savings & how much from each check you both can save.  Start thinking about a guest list.  A cake and punch reception for 200 or a sit down dinner for 40? Decide the style of your wedding, super formal? or a laid back back yard BBQ type event? Time of day? Think about your wedding party.  What the 2 of you will wear, dress & tux or dress uniforms?  The Knot has a checklist.. I didn't use it, but it could help you figure out where to start!!

    I hope this helps!!
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    The Knot has a great check list of things to plan.  I wouldn't worry about a time line if you are waiting until Sept 2012 to get married.  There really isn't much to a military wedding.  It can be military just by people wearing their uniforms.  You can decide to have an arch if y'all are E-5 or above.  I went to one wedding where the bride and groom didn't want to have to decide between branches for their arch.  They had the MC arch as they were leaving the church and the Army arch as they were entering the reception venue. 
    You can also have your decor represent the military.  Personally, I like to see that understated.  I think it's a bit cheesey when people go over board with it.  I've seen several people go with a 40's era theme.  I loved one wedding where they used miniatures of old recruiting posters from the 40's as place cards and named each table after an old aircraft, tank or vehicle. 
    Stick around here.  We'll try to help you out as much as possible. 
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_im-over-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a7b5da1b-00d1-4257-807d-4234ae44cf1ePost:baa610bd-9e56-4928-9913-082f03920735">Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]The Knot has a great check list of things to plan.  I wouldn't worry about a time line if you are waiting until Sept 2012 to get married.  There really isn't much to a military wedding.  It can be military just by people wearing their uniforms.  You can decide to have an <strong>arch if y'all are E-5 or above</strong>.  I went to one wedding where the bride and groom didn't want to have to decide between branches for their arch.  They had the MC arch as they were leaving the church and the Army arch as they were entering the reception venue.  You can also have your decor represent the military.  Personally, I like to see that understated.  I think it's a bit cheesey when people go over board with it.  I've seen several people go with a 40's era theme.  I loved one wedding where they used miniatures of old recruiting posters from the 40's as place cards and named each table after an old aircraft, tank or vehicle.  Stick around here.  We'll try to help you out as much as possible. 
    Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>you have to be an e-5 to do that?

    </div>
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
  • edited December 2011
    They are being so un-supportive because we are both military. They don't think that it’s going to work because of the stresses of our careers. His mom has hated me from the beginning because she thinks he chose the Army instead of the Airforce because of me.

    As far as the budget, he won’t let me pay for much. He was raised in a traditional manner so he still thinks he has to take care of me. He is willing to spend as much as I want to spend but I feel guilty about spending lots of money because I didn’t earn it. He says I deserve the best but I’m fine with simple. We argued about how much he spent on my engagement ring. It took me a couple months to be okay with him spending enough money to buy a small car on a ring. 
    We aren't stationed together because we're not married yet. Once we settle on a date we are going to both take some leave time for our wedding and honeymoon. We have decided that it going to be a small ceremony but we aren’t sure if we should have a formal dinner (which is traditional like he is) or a barbeque/cook out (which is relaxed and laid back like I am). He is wearing his dress uniform and I’m wearing a gown out because that is his only request. He told me “the rest is up to you, I just want to marry you.”

    I’m not sure if we are having a wedding party besides my Father, who will be walking me down the aisle.

  • edited December 2011
    Hey! My FI and I are both AD AF, so I feel you about the mil-to-mil thing. Major props to you for maintaining a relationship between services. I know it's not easy, from the few couples I've ran across along the way, but certainly doable. It's a shame you don't have your families' support. But, what matters is that you love each other and are committed to a successful marriage.

    Do you have a plan for what you will do when you recieve orders to separate bases? Will one of you get out?

    The ladies on MB are extremely supportive and we are here for you if you need us!!:) Welcome!
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  • edited December 2011

    You have to be an E-4

  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_im-over-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a7b5da1b-00d1-4257-807d-4234ae44cf1ePost:505b75ee-0585-4d46-9a5b-0fb8b8be0575">Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You have to be an E-4
    Posted by FemaleMarineArmyWife[/QUOTE]

    <div>In the Marine Corps, because that's when NCOs begin. Other branches are different, the Army is probably E5, because for the most part (besides the sporadic E4 NCO), that's when NCO begins.</div>
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_im-over-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a7b5da1b-00d1-4257-807d-4234ae44cf1ePost:44c6d8f1-96ab-489a-a28e-a8016d17a0b9">Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!! : you have to be an e-5 to do that?
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

    It may be dif for dif branches It needs to be done by and NCO so whenever they make that E4 or E5 etc. But I don't think you or your FI need to have that rank I think it has to do with who performs the ceremony I could be wrong. But the ranking only applies to those who carry the saber or sword (depending on the branch) not those on the receiving end, so if you have friends or family to make up an arch then you can have one regardless of your personal standing. And it doesn't have to been groomsman. It can be any family or guests not just wedding party taht makes it :)
  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_im-over-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a7b5da1b-00d1-4257-807d-4234ae44cf1ePost:84060f81-f64c-4b39-b7a2-e5616d91ed03">Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!! : It may be dif for dif branches It needs to be done by and NCO so whenever they make that E4 or E5 etc. But I don't think you or your FI need to have that rank I think it has to do with who performs the ceremony I could be wrong. But the ranking only applies to those who carry the saber or sword (depending on the branch) not those on the receiving end, so if you have friends or family to make up an arch then you can have one regardless of your personal standing. And it doesn't have to been groomsman. It can be any family or guests not just wedding party taht makes it :)
    Posted by prettyirishgirl[/QUOTE]
    I'm not worried about it because FI told me no. But I know that we did it at a marine wedding and the groom wasn't an e-5
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_im-over-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a7b5da1b-00d1-4257-807d-4234ae44cf1ePost:12e59e41-795b-4b61-806d-ba9b88603771">Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!! : I'm not worried about it because FI told me no. But I know that we did it at a marine wedding and the groom wasn't an e-5
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

    <div>Well, was he an E4? Because in the Marine Corps, an E4 is an NCO and rates a sword arch, has the ability to carry, and gets a blood stripe.</div><div>
    </div><div>If he was an E1-E3, then he shouldn't have had one. But that doesn't stop lots of people from having them, wearing the white trousers, etc.</div>
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_im-over-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:a7b5da1b-00d1-4257-807d-4234ae44cf1ePost:505b75ee-0585-4d46-9a5b-0fb8b8be0575">Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You have to be an E-4
    Posted by FemaleMarineArmyWife[/QUOTE]
    In the Army, it's E-5 because that is when we become NCOs.  E-4s are either SPCs or CPLs.  A CPL is a junior NCO and still doesn't qualify for the arch. 
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_im-over-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a7b5da1b-00d1-4257-807d-4234ae44cf1ePost:84060f81-f64c-4b39-b7a2-e5616d91ed03">Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!! : It may be dif for dif branches It needs to be done by and NCO so whenever they make that E4 or E5 etc. But I don't think you or your FI need to have that rank I think it has to do with who performs the ceremony I could be wrong. But the ranking only applies to those who carry the saber or sword (depending on the branch) not those on the receiving end, so if you have friends or family to make up an arch then you can have one regardless of your personal standing. And it doesn't have to been groomsman. It can be any family or guests not just wedding party taht makes it :)
    Posted by prettyirishgirl[/QUOTE]

    <div>No, the service member has to be a certain rank to rate it.</div>
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_im-over-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a7b5da1b-00d1-4257-807d-4234ae44cf1ePost:8db4adc4-7140-4a25-9981-0bcbda04b7d3">Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!! : Well, was he an E4? Because in the Marine Corps, an E4 is an NCO and rates a sword arch, has the ability to carry, and gets a blood stripe. If he was an E1-E3, then he shouldn't have had one. But that doesn't stop lots of people from having them, wearing the white trousers, etc.
    Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]
    nope. He was fresh outta bootcamp
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_im-over-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:a7b5da1b-00d1-4257-807d-4234ae44cf1ePost:419d1543-d52e-4e9a-b58f-5f97251c9770">Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!! : nope. He was fresh outta bootcamp
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

    Then he wasn't supposed to have an arch.  The NCOs who did the arch should have known that.  It honestly bugs the crap out of me when people disregard regulations.  They are there for a reason.  If those people are willing to disregard regulations like this, what else are they willing to look past?
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_im-over-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:a7b5da1b-00d1-4257-807d-4234ae44cf1ePost:45c204b9-d478-4810-858e-67694075b9a8">Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm in over my head!!!!!!! : No, the service member has to be a certain rank to rate it.
    Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]

    thanks for the correction and that's why I have my FI and you guys :) I'm all about learning it, but there were/are more important things for me to remember then if rank matters to a saber arch since by the time we get married and think about having one he'd be the rank req anyway.

    Even though I think an alien might have to inhabit his body before he wanted one - never know though. They start caring about the oddest things, like colors, what uniform do I want to where, china patterns it being anywhere in the month of July (b/c the 4th is in that month and it would be cheesy), and flowers - creepy.

    haha sorry kind off topic but i had to express the fact that something is possessing my FI
  • edited December 2011
    you all will be pleased to know that i'm not longer in way over my head.
  • edited December 2011
    Thats good to hear!!
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