fiance joined coast guard...

JillianL009

My fiance and I got engaged about a month or so ago and we both have a little bit more of college to finish, but he does not really know what he wants to do with his life.  He is seriously considering joining the Coast Guard which I am pretty much ok with but Im worried about the wedding planning and when it should/would be.  Also if its really the best thing for him to do career wise.  I dont fully know what its like to not see him at least 4-5 times a week so its really going to be a shocker to not see him at all or talk to him for 8 months and i dont know how ill handle it. If he ends up doing that ill also move to a place where i know no one and i have a hard time making friends in the first place.  Will it be that lonely if/when he goes? I am just nervous about the whole situation.

kyrgyzstan

I'm generally pretty independent by choice, but I found that after I was about 22, I wasn't close to the same people anyway. I've got friends that I adore that I've met since leaving my home town. Give yourself a chance to branch out, I bet you'll be fine. 

The CG is probably the hardest branch to get into, why is he specifically interested in that branch? I know why I'm specifically interested in one branch, but I know other people sometimes get stuck on one without much reason. Is he interested in law enforcement? The CG are pretty bamf, but they are also quite selective from what I hear. 

JillianL009

Yeah he is very interested in Homeland Security... he was going to go to school for criminal justice in the first place but he is not very school oriented.  Like some people just aren't good at the whole school thing and he just isn't.  

kyrgyzstan

What about something like the Border Patrol? Would he be interested in that?

JillianL009

Yeah I think thats kind of what he likes doing hes says he is really interested in that, but he doesnt want to go into the army/navy/marines cause he doesnt want to have to go overseas.

kyrgyzstan

I know Coasties who are in Afghanistan. A girl on Military Nesties had a CG H who went to Kuwait, and he was a CG Reservist.

If he doesn't want to go overseas, he should look into local/state/federal law enforcement. Not the CG.

iluvmytxrgr

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fiance-joined-coast-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:acffd43c-cfa3-4ddb-9a36-d01684275a16Post:3535e83b-3287-4221-956f-2de478c87428">Re: fiance joined coast guard...</a>:
[QUOTE]I know Coasties who are in Afghanistan. A girl on Military Nesties had a CG H who went to Kuwait, and he was a CG Reservist. If he doesn't want to go overseas, he should look into local/state/federal law enforcement. Not the CG.
Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]
This.  Plus, we have Coasties in Puerto Rico, Alaska, Hawaii, Guam, Cuba, American Samoa, the US Virgin Islands and other places around the world.  Like Stan said, we even have Coasties in Afghanistan, Iraq and Kuwait.  If he doesn't like the posibility of deployment or serving overseas, he needs to find a state or local job. 

firsttimersluck

I agree with stan that the CG is pretty much bad-asz
It's HARD to get into, though... even more so that the economy took a dive so now ALL branches get to be more selective sicne so many people want to join up for a job. MAKE SURE he does his research hardcore before any decisions have been made, as that's a serious contract he'll be signing up for... but worth it.
I grew up an Army brat and have travelled all my life... Maybe I'm a little bias but it's sooo great to be forced to branch yourself out to meet new people and places. I strongly believe that being outside your comfort zone makes you a better person. Don't be afraid of having to live in a new place... and the military communities have lots of things you can get active with to meet other people in your situation.
The distance sucks, but it can make a relationship incredibly strong... I hate that my FI has to come and go every few weeks for one thing or another (he got back from Tokyo last week and left again for San Diego for the weekend... lucky man haha) but it makes our passion stay sooo hott and forces us to communicate in different ways... I think the military has been such a great experience for him, for me (as the spouse) and for our relationship as a whole.
Support him, help him with the research, try to talk to people in the service to give you an idea of what to expect, and I wish you luck with whatever comes of it!

shan87

If your FI is looking for help with getting into Federal/Local or State Law Enforcement agencies I may be able to help. I am currently involved, also have a BA in Criminal Justice and Sociology, and have connections to a couple federal agencies.

Fortunately, for your FI, law enforcment agencies look more on working experience and not educational experience. They also love military experience which is why I think your FI is looking at that direction, however I am hesitant to support anyone joining them military as a stepping stone to something else. He should love his country and want to join to fight for it a defend it, not put in time before he can get an XYZ job, especially since its not neccessary.

 PM if interested in my help/suggestions

JillianL009

my fiance does love his country just to clear it up he is very patriotic and would love to serve for the country... he wouldn't take this decision lightly of course.  it could potentially be a life long career, i also know that he might have to travel overseas which i informed him about because my brother is in the coast guard and is going to south american this summer.  thanks for everyones help though it made more knowledgeable about joining.  

SamiJoeB

My FIL did 30 years in the CG. He spent most of his time on the West Coast because he was a heavy weather surfman. He bounced from Northern California, Oregon, and the Washington coast. The CG is a really close knit family. I believe it's the smallest branch of the military. Your FI needs to think long and hard because it's a serious commitment. I'm with Shan, I don't often support people who join the military as a stepping stone to something else..

JillianL009

im not really understanding why people are considering the Coast Guard a stepping stone... he wants to do something in Homeland Security which the  Coast Guard is a big part of.  my fiance would be going to college for criminal justice if he does not join... its not a stepping stone to do something else it is doing exactly what he wants to do.

firsttimersluck

Don't take offense to anything we have to say.. you just have a lot of different people with different backgrounds, reflecting on personal experiences and experiences of others; which is what you were looking for by posting on here, no?  I'm glad you have someone (your brother) to help as a guide through the military process.. I can't imagine having to do all the research alone without any outside help/suggestions/experience to use as a starting point for information.

Keep in mind we get a lot of people that are joining because "the economy is bad" and whatnot.. and as all dedicated and proud military spouses, ths is offensive. Nothing against you at all, as you have not giving me this impression, this board just doesn't take joining lightly, and with good reason. (again, not that you ARE, we just want to make sure. You said you're nervous about it all, we told you the tough stuff, because that's what makes you nervous.)

JillianL009

yeah i know, i totally understand why people are saying things they are saying well for the most part.  I am just trying to learn what I can because i truly am nervous about this whole thing, but i dont want to stop him from doing what makes him happy or what he wants to do.  we have been doing a lot of research to make the best choice but he is saying that the Coast Guard is something that he would really love to do.

SamiJoeB

We say using that as a stepping stone because alot of people have come on the board saying "He wants to join the military so that he can get a better job after the military". I am prior service myself, and I didn't join saying "I'll serve my time and get out." or "I'll use the Navy as a way to get my Nursing Degree" I went in intending to be a lifer, my plans have since changed because my H wants to stay in the Corps until they kick him out, and we felt it would be too hard on us, as well as our future babies to juggle 2 careers and a family (I know alot of people who do it, but it just wasn't for us). Thats what we mean when we say "using it Military as a stepping stone" basically we just mean, we dont agree with people using the Military to get benefits, money, training or whatever and not give their 110%..

ellie_spoutz

Yeah my FI's been in the CG for 13 yrs and he had to go to Cuba for 8 months(which started as 6 and kept getting extended as he was there) and 2 of his best buds have gone overseas for long periods of time and another one is stationed in Puerto Rico. For the most part he's home and maybe every 6 weeks he'll be gone for a week, but he, just like other military branches can be told tomorrow he's gotta go. Before that trip, most of the time he left was for trainings and such, but those can be 3 months also.

firsttimersluck

sami- I totally agree with you.. I try not to judge those that want to use it as a stepping stone because... I get it... But I definitely have to bite my tongue to those people that are doing it bc they got fired from target for being late all the time and can't find another job right now. I know way too many people like that.

I will say that my FI originally considered the navy his "stepping stone" and I think he is slowly changing his mind on that one. I'm happy about it... My dad has been in the Army for 30 years, so the military is all I know. He has a great job with the Navy, and I think the longer he is in the more he falls in love with it.. We still have 4 years left on his contract, but I think it's no longer his "stepping stone" and his actual career.  yay for not being one of "those" guys.. haha

mehgank

OP - both my H and I are in the USCG (me for 9 years, him for 6 years). I do mostly administrative work, and he does Federal Law Enforcement.

If your FI is seriously considering joining the USCG, he should start talking with a recruiter NOW. Even though their quotas for this fiscal year are most likely full, the recruiters will be getting a whole new allowance come October 1st. Have him start studying for his ASVAB test as well. You can find study materials at most public libraries or even on Amazon.com.

Like pp's said, most Federal Law Enforcement (your "alphabet soup" like FBI, CIA, ATF, CBP) careers look at prior job experience over education. They want a guy who knows what it's like to be fired upon or have to deal with high-intensity situations.

The rate he should look into is Maritime Enforcement Specialist (ME). Link: http://www.gocoastguard.com/find-your-career/enlisted-opportunities/enlisted-ratings-descriptions/maritime-enforcement-specialist-(me)

Definitely click around on www.gocoastguard.com to get a feel for what you're getting yourself into. There's whole sections on what to expect while he's at Basic Training and "A" School (other branches call it Tech School).

FWIW: I moved from Kodiak, AK to Miami, FL a year and a half ago to be with my H. I didn't know a soul when I moved here, but there are two wives at his unit (they're called Ombudsmen) who really welcomed me and helped me get to know the other ladies who are married to guys at his unit. That helped put me at ease about moving cross-country (while he was deployed!) to a new place all by myself.

If you need any more info, feel free to PM me.