Military Brides

Vow Renewal or actual Wedding?

My husband and I were both deployed when we were married by double proxy. Yes, folks he was in one place and I an another. We have been together going on 5 years and married for 4. We have 3 children together and we have both been married once before. I'm not too sure what to do. We had planned to do a vow renewal on our 5th wedding anniversarry but we have never said vows to each other. My concern that a proxy marriage, let alone a double proxy marriage is not recognized in some states and I would like to change that. I guess I'm not really too sure on how to go about doing this. My parents would love to see us have a wedding but I really don't know where to go to find out about a situation like ours . . . Any guidance will be appreciated!

Re: Vow Renewal or actual Wedding?

  • That's... interesting. And I think a first on this board! LOL!

    Okay, first things first. Does the state that you and your husband live in honor this type of marriage? If not, then yes, have a wedding. A quick Google search tells me that not all states fully recognize proxy marriages, but will at the very least recognize it as a common law marriage. I am sure that is not what you were looking for, though. 

     I'd probably still avoid the pre wedding parties that are involved, like bachelor/bachelorette, bridal showers, etc. Also, I would avoid registering for gifts. Good luck! 
  • That's tricky.  With kids, my opinion is that there are just too many other things you can do with the money than have a big vow renewal.  I think if I were in your shoes, I'd have a back yard bbq kind of thing and include the vow renewal with it.  I would keep it simple.  
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