How to plan, when family is far away

amh04

Can anyone give/provide me with some advice on how to plan when all my family and friends are at least 700 miles away? We are stationed in FL, and are having the wedding here. But we don't have any family here, and I haven't really made any friends here yet. I feel as if its supposed to be fun, but it still gets a little lonely realizing I won't really have anyone aside from FI to help. My mom can only come down so oftern since she works, and I can't expect my friends to hop on a plane for a weekend. Also, any advice for planning/ making arrangements when you don't know the area much yet. We just moved down here in March, and will be getting married early March of 2012. So I still don't know a whole lot about the area.

kara811

First, welcome to the board and congrats on the engagement!

You need to remember that no one will ever be as excited over the wedding as you. I know that it sucks not having family and friends around, but it could still be very fun. Some people don't even want others butting in their planning. Case in point, my mother was helping me at first, but it got so stressful and we'd fight over things all the time I just stopped asking her for help nor letting her know the details. I really was alone with the planning after that, my BMs/friends all live far away but I still had a lot of fun when it came to planning. At least you have your FI there with you, H was deployed the entire time we were planning and he's also stationed in Japan. 

Just try to get to know the area a bit more. Do a lot of research on venues and vendors, see what sort of reviews they have. I suggest even posting on the local board, you can find it under local wedding boards on the left side of this page. Also, you have us here and you can always tell us how your planning is going. There are tons of posters that give each other support on these forums. Might I suggest to get on your month board too, women there will be among the most supportive. Good luck! 

jamie5482

For me, I'm having the wedding where my family lives in MD while living in KS but it's still lonely planning. My mom is unable to be involved much due to health issues and my friends are all busy too. I'd love to get more input from everyone but I know not everyone is as into everything as I am so I email my closest friends when there's something relevant going on or I need opinions. 

I also am fortunate enough to be able to take some trips home to visit and do some wedding planning at the same time. It's a little different for you since your wedding will be closest in location to you but maybe just keep in touch with everyone via email and skype. Otherwise, I'd just focus on the big picture and remember that your wedding day will be special and fun even if the planning wasn't quite what you imagined. 

firsttimersluck

Welcome!

I had my aunt trying to help in the beginning but now that's gone. We have no family helping us at all. You can do it.. just make sure you do a lot of your research before booking vendors and whatnot. We're also here

I know it seems really overwhelming, but you just take it in pieces and it'll all fall into place.

amh04

Thanks for the advice ladies! I'm definitely happy to have FI home, the Navy has had him deployed the bulk of past two years and he has been a HUGE help so far! Maybe it will turn out to be a blessing in disguise! We shall see. As long as I have my mom for when I go dress shopping I'll be happy. I might just have to plan a trip home.

firsttimersluck

Eh, make a trip home for the dress shopping then. Or have her come out to you. My mom was suppose to go dress shopping with me... on my birthday.. and decided to cancel.. and then I found out she went to a dog show instead.. thaaaannnx mom....

YAY Navy! I'm going to a navy wedding this month down in JAX. We're Navy, up in Washington. Fi got back from deployment in December and leaves again next spring sometime.  boo.

SarahP787

I'm one of those who doesn't want other people bugging me while I plan, so maybe I'm not the best advice-giver on this topic! But as far as I'm concerned, the most helpful thing is just having other people's input on the desisions, and that can be done pretty easily over the phone! I DID go dress shopping with my mom and a bridesmaid - that would be a good one to do at home, maybe. But otherwise you can look at stuff and gather info on your own/ with your Fi, and then just talk about it with the people you want to include.

shan87

I also did it mostly myself. I am a HUGE planner. My family got sick of my wedding and hearing about it a couple months after our engagement. (I admit I was super excited and went a little overboard right away ) Just because you are 700 miles away from your family and friends doesn't mean they would still be involved if distance was an issue. I know that sounds harsh but some people are excited/happy for you but don't want to help with the work. I have great family and friends but they were not really interested with the planning process. For me, it helped. I am proud to say I did it 80% on my own.

Your local board (if it's as helpful as mine) is going to be invaluable. My local board is pretty active and I was able to get feedback on vendors in every part of the planning process. We can help you with the military side of things.

I would encourage you to talk with both sets of parent's about guest list and talk with your FI about budget.

Welcome, GL with Planning and Let us know if we can help!

zimgsgirl26

Welcome...utilize your local board for recommendations and also call your family things like that. I'll be moving 3 hours away from my family next month to go back to school and I'll be calling my mom when I'm not home and things like that

SamiJoeB

Welcome to the Boards!!

I planned my wedding while my family was 3,000 miles away, and my FI was in another country. Anyone can do it! Kara is right though, no one else will be as excited about your wedding as you and hopefully your FI are.. Like the other ladies suggested, your Local and Month boards will be really helpful, and we're always here too!!

Military Clauses. Get them in all of your vendor contracts. They are a must.

calindi

I'm planning my wedding from 2000 miles away with no close family or friends nearby.  My Mom's step-cousin's wife is going with me for fittings... that's the closest family I have within 1000 miles!

My parents live somewhat close to my venue, a little over an hour away.  But I don't want to make them do tons of leg work for me, so I'm basically planning alone, far away from family and friends.  And ya know what - it's just fine!  It's a party!  It's not a hardship or even that much of a challenge.  You come up with a to-do list, and just check things off.  If it's a major stress, then it's possible you're not planning the wedding you really want.  If you don't want to plan, then hire a planner to take care of the details.

mob2689

DD & I were in close contact thorugh internet and phone, she also had someone from her church help her through alot. But, she also missed the mark big time when it came to set up take down and last minute preperations.
 
This woman led us to beleive she had it all covered, but ALL the OOT guests worked thier butts off from the moment they arrived until the day they left and there was no time to relax or rest because of all the details she planned and kept to herself on a day to day basis.
 
DD only had 20 min to get ready and she still demanded to talk to her 5 min before walking up the aisle. I can't remember if I cussed in church. I honestly think she was trying to make a name for herself and all her people in town and it all backfired. There were other ladies that had expereince in weddings at the church but DD not knowing many people took this ladies word. Yes it looked like it cost Thousands of dollars more than what it actually cost but the price we all payed wasn't worth one dime.

I would HIGHLY recomend a reputable wedding planner if you can afford one. Also talk about plans of your left over food and where it is to go or be donated to in advance. This lady had her "freind the cook" take all the food and I was given every excuse on why the wounded worriors wouldn't take it and never got a clear and honest answer on where it was all going. She was also going to take all the linens flowers decorations all of it when I put my food down she got angry real quick and just left. The bride and groom where on thier honeymoon the day after the wedding and we had no one to rely on but this woman and she knew that.

From the outside it was beautiful but from  the inside it was a nightmare. The worst was this "cook" cooked pots and pans on the V.F.W.'s grill during the reception and now the kids are left to pay for the repair.

It may cost more but in the end it's worth it to have a professional help when you are alone. Even if you have to cut the guest list to pay for the services.

Sign up for places like Michaels on the web e-mails to get coupons, and ALWAYS ask for military discounts. Even Lowes gave military discounts.

If you are renting items set delivery up that day for your wedding date We ended up renting a u-haul because they wanted to see about a cheaper price,by the time they decided the rental place was booked for deliveries, and it cost much more renting the u-haul not including the manual work of loading and unloading, and trying to find a place to park the 17 foot truck for 4 days. The venue was 1 hour and 15 min away from the "bigger" city. So we couldn't just unload take it back and then bring it back again on Sunday since the rental company was closed on Sunday. The heat and humidity alone were unbearable but we also had to work in it as well.

After what we went through I can tell anyone what NOT to do but  not what TO do.

Hope this helps.

LetsHikeToday

Hey there!

Congratulations on your engagement! Yay for the Navy! H and I just got married and he is in the Navy too.

I planned by wedding 4 hours away from my parents. There were parts that were easier because I didn't have to talk and talk and talk about it with my parents. However, there were parts that were hard too.

If I could give you one piece of advice for you, it would be to e-mail your parents pictures of the ideas you have in your head. I remember trying to explain stuff to my mom over the phone and she couldn't envision it. It was much easier when I sent pictures over e-mail and we could look at the together and talk about them.

I only went home about 4 times during the planning process. I got as much done with my mom during that time as possible. We filled our days up with vendors and shopping and we got everything accomplished on those visits. That might work for you!

Good luck and keep us updated on your wedding planning!

calindi

Also, use your local Knot board.  I have only met with one vendor face-to-face before booking and I'm still 100% confident that they're all excellent because they came so highly recommended by other brides in the area.  I never would have found my DJ without their recommendations, or my photographers!   WeddingWire is also a good resource, but they tend to only post the positive reviews so check out your local board, too!  Since you're getting married where you are, you might even be able to have some get togethers with other brides in the area and make planning a bit more fun!

amh04

Thanks ladies! I really appreciate all the input. Things are stressed with his family so hopefully it will all turn out well. I am thinking about hiring a wedding planner, since it is looking like a HUGE possibility that we are getting married in November rather than March.
I'm super thankful to be able to have FI's help and input, he's been so understanding so far. We've barely been engaged a week mind you before we were told basicially that if we want his family there we need to be married in November. So it went from being excited, to upset/hurt, to OMG I have a thousand things to do very very fast.
I'll definitely check out the local boards, and I definitely plan on checking out our base services to see what/if we can do things on base.

kruoff89

We're getting married on base, and it has helped SO MUCH. The club on base has an all inclusive package, so that really cut out a lot of planning on my part, becuase they already had pre-selected vendors for us to choose from! So I'd definitely look into what deals you can find on base

Something else that has really helped me throughout the process is our wedding website. This has helped keep everyone in the family involved. Instead of answering the same question a million times I just say - it's on the website I used weddingwire.com for our website - VERY user friendly.