Mess Dress Groom, Semiformal Groomsmen

jessicadm10

My groom is in the Air Force and wearing his mess dress for the wedding, and we've decided that his groomsmen (all Air Force) will wear their semi-formal blues. We were hoping that it would set him apart from the rest of the guys as the groom and it would also save some of the men from having to go out and buy mess dress. Has anyone done this or seen pictures where it was done? I like the idea of it, but I wonder how it will actually look with him in a bowtie and his men in regular neckties... is the difference in formality of their uniforms going to clash?

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_mess-dress-groom-semiformal-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:afc7c481-0015-481c-b174-0443ec0ac844Post:63f1641c-0a30-4961-934e-c748f731f684">Mess Dress Groom, Semiformal Groomsmen</a>:
[QUOTE]My groom is in the Air Force and wearing his mess dress for the wedding, and we've decided that his groomsmen (all Air Force) will wear their semi-formal blues. We were hoping that it would set him apart from the rest of the guys as the groom and it would also save some of the men from having to go out and buy mess dress. Has anyone done this or seen pictures where it was done? I like the idea of it, but I wonder how it will actually look with him in a bowtie and his men in regular neckties... <strong>is the difference in formality of their uniforms going to clash?</strong>
Posted by jessicadm10[/QUOTE]

<div>Simply put, yes.  Mess dress would be like black tie affair appropriate.  And someone like Stan or TX who are much better on uniform regs can confirm or deny this, but I'm pretty sure if one is appropriate the other isn't.  So either they should all be in mess dress, or all in service dress.  Most likely, they should be in service dress unless it's a black tie wedding.</div>

kyrgyzstan

I don't know AF regs, but I do know uniformity is key in general. He's the groom, he'll stand out by making out with you, etc. Well, unless you've got an odd relationship and will be smooching the groomsmen as well. I just don't think it's appropriate.

AmandaSC1988

I imagine it would look as strange as the groom wearing a tux and the groomsmen wearing a work suit. 

shan87

"The only uniform regulation that applies in this situation is the 36-2903.  Each Airman should wear the Mess Dress or Service dress according to those standards.  However there is no standard prohibiting mixed uniforms (in this civilian setting). 

As far as the contrast, it will be apparent and your groom will stand out."

Thats from my Hubs (1lt Air Force). .... Basically if each person is wearing the uniform correctly there is no problem with mixing the types outside a Military function.


That being said, my H wore his Mess Dress and so did his AF buddies (2 of which were our Ushers) despite this everyone knew who the groom was. Also note that they can't wear/pin bouts with their uniform.

bmejenn

Are you planning to have the groomsmen act as sabre bearers? This might make a difference. My fiance is wearing his mess dress (AF) in our wedding and he is having six sabre bearers, all in their mess dress uniforms as well.

I, too, was concerned with having them have to buy such an expensive uniform (I am active duty Public Health Service, and I don't have/wouldn't buy that uniform unless I absolutely had to). He told me that a 'good officer' would have that uniform. Clearly, I am not a 'good officer,' by his standards.  

SamiJoeB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_mess-dress-groom-semiformal-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:afc7c481-0015-481c-b174-0443ec0ac844Post:63f1641c-0a30-4961-934e-c748f731f684">Mess Dress Groom, Semiformal Groomsmen</a>:
[QUOTE]My groom is in the Air Force and wearing his mess dress for the wedding, and we've decided that his groomsmen (all Air Force) will wear their semi-formal blues. We were hoping that it would set him apart from the rest of the guys as the groom and it would also save some of the men from having to go out and buy mess dress. Has anyone done this or seen pictures where it was done? I like the idea of it, but I wonder how it will actually look with him in a bowtie and his men in regular neckties... <strong>is the difference in formality of their uniforms going to clash?</strong>
Posted by jessicadm10[/QUOTE]

IMO, yes.  If you took the uniforms out of the equations, your groom will be in a Tux:<img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/sjbaltes/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot.png" alt="" /><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/sjbaltes/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-1.png" alt="" />

<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'fc4de2ba-5bc6-4162-9570-2f68555405eb', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/12/5/fc4de2ba-5bc6-4162-9570-2f68555405eb.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>


And the GM in suits:

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Plus, the point of Uniforms is Uniformity...

calindi

I really don't understand this need to "set the groom apart" with uniforms.  If they're wearing tuxes, they'll all wear tuxes.  Sure, sometimes the bride will have the groom wear a different vest or boutineer or something, but it's all the same tux usually. 

As someone familiar with the military, I cringe every time I see wedding pictures with the groomsmen in different uniform.  I'm sure people who aren't familiar with the military won't care that they're in different uniforms, but the service members and their significant others will notice.  The one that's bugging me now is the (Marine) groom in dress white summer pants and the groomsmen in the blood stripe pants.  If it's summer weather, they should all be in the whites.  If it's cold, then they should all be in the blood stripe. 

A uniform is supposed to bring uniformity.  Like others said, people don't usually have a hard time figuring out who the groom is.  He's the one kissing the bride, holding her hand, dancing for the first dance together, sitting at the table next to her.

I equate this with when women flip out when someone shows up at the wedding in some shade of white, ivory, or cream dress.  No one's going to think that person is the bride, so who the heck cares?

jessicadm10

Yeah, I figured that was the answer but was hoping someone could prove otherwise  The idea to do different uniforms was less about setting the groom apart and more about not asking his guys to go out and buy the pricey uniforms (I know at least 3 of the 4 don't own one).  Although he does say the same thing as your fiance, bmejenn, about officers owning mess dress! It's definitely not a black tie wedding; those are practically unheard of in this part of Texas... you'll be lucky if everyone shows up in dress pants instead of jeans! Sounds stereotypical, but really... Regardless of how formal your wedding is. I know he was pretty set on the idea of getting married in his mess dress, so I guess I'll let him decide which direction he wants to go with the uniforms (one or the other, but all wearing the same)... Thanks everyone for the input!

calindi

Jess - perhaps you could ask the groomsmen to wear tuxes?  That will up the formality, and then your groom will be the only one in uniform (technically the mess dress would still be too formal with guests in jeans, but I think most people would look past it, and the tuxes on groomsmen helps!)  It would be a lot cheaper to rent a tux than buy the mess dress, and perhaps you guys could even help them with the cost.

AmandaSC1988

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_mess-dress-groom-semiformal-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:afc7c481-0015-481c-b174-0443ec0ac844Post:55bdcdcc-0eb6-4088-aafa-fac77237e7bb">Re: Mess Dress Groom, Semiformal Groomsmen</a>:
[QUOTE]Jess - perhaps you could ask the groomsmen to wear tuxes?  That will up the formality, and then your groom will be the only one in uniform (technically the mess dress would still be too formal <strong>with guests in jeans,</strong> but I think most people would look past it, and the tuxes on groomsmen helps!)  It would be a lot cheaper to rent a tux than buy the mess dress, and perhaps you guys could even help them with the cost.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

I just shuddedred. I know it happens all the time, but I can't believe people would wear jeans to a wedding....Coming from Oklahoma I see it all the time too...but I always am shocked

Edit- I meant to quote the OP...

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_mess-dress-groom-semiformal-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:afc7c481-0015-481c-b174-0443ec0ac844Post:91478d79-1a79-4d3a-96f3-abd02b468700">Re: Mess Dress Groom, Semiformal Groomsmen</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mess Dress Groom, Semiformal Groomsmen : I just shuddedred. I know it happens all the time, but I can't believe people would wear jeans to a wedding....Coming from Oklahoma I see it all the time too...but I always am shocked Edit- I meant to quote the OP...
Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]

I'll just be happy if all my guests are clothed.  FI's Dad had his fly undone throughout all the pictures for his sister's wedding - you could clearly see his tighty whities in the pictures (thank goodness for Photoshop!).  And FI's Mom wore a floor length skin colored silk sheath dress that made her look naked, and she spent the whole reception plastered and 'droppin it like it's hot'.  I'm fully expecting both of these things to happen again, and I'm just resigning myself that there is so much out of my control that I just can't worry about.

Jeans (fully zipped) would be an improvement <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

jessicadm10

Calindi - Tuxes aren't a bad idea, it's definitely a more affordable option if the groomsmen don't want to buy the mess dress. I would prefer mess dress, but I can be flexible if the men decide otherwise!

Irishcurls

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_mess-dress-groom-semiformal-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:afc7c481-0015-481c-b174-0443ec0ac844Post:2174b958-b06d-47d5-a4c1-430151916627">Re: Mess Dress Groom, Semiformal Groomsmen</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mess Dress Groom, Semiformal Groomsmen : I'll just be happy if all my guests are clothed.  <strong>FI's Dad had his fly undone throughout all the pictures for his sister's wedding - you could clearly see his tighty whities</strong> in the pictures (thank goodness for Photoshop!).  And FI's Mom wore a floor length skin colored silk sheath dress that made her look naked, and she spent the whole reception plastered and 'droppin it like it's hot'.  I'm fully expecting both of these things to happen again, and I'm just resigning myself that there is so much out of my control that I just can't worry about. Jeans (fully zipped) would be an improvement
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
Make it stop. Haha this cracked me up!!

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_mess-dress-groom-semiformal-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:afc7c481-0015-481c-b174-0443ec0ac844Post:e5dac836-969a-40d5-8877-0db24ba56cd6">Re: Mess Dress Groom, Semiformal Groomsmen</a>:
[QUOTE]Calindi - Tuxes aren't a bad idea, it's definitely a more affordable option if the groomsmen don't want to buy the mess dress. I would prefer mess dress, but I can be flexible if the men decide otherwise!
Posted by jessicadm10[/QUOTE]

<div>If your FI doesn't want to budge on wearing his mess dress, I would definitely go with the men in tuxes.  Or they could have the option to wear their mess dress or a tux.  That way if someone already owns their mess dress uniform they don't have to pay anything, but if someone doesn't own it they can choose to spend $100 or whatever it is to rent, compared to over $500 to buy the mess dress.  </div><div>
</div><div>Some might want to buy the mess dress uniform anyways.  One of my good friends is in the Army and told me he had been waiting for a reason to buy his mess dress uniform, and he used attending my wedding as that excuse.  So you really just never know, but I definitely wouldn't ask the GM to go buy that uniform if htey don't have it.  You wouldn't ask a BM to pay over $500 for a BM dress!  </div>

prettyirishgirl

I agree with beach.

My Fi and I had this talk on our drive south. He wants to wear mess dress and his groomsmen dont all have it (his brother foremost, but all of his potential military guys are career (they are all Army btw - so this makes a difference in our point). His father told his brother to suck it up and buy the darn uniform which was comical since i said he should wear his blues. He proceeded to tell me he was wearing his greens and I'd like it then Fi asked him to be his best man so he was like ahh (accessory word) man now I gotta go get the new blues. Everyone thought the entire situation was pretty funny (apparently FBIL and FSIL have been having this get the new uniform and be done with it convo for a while - so she was like hahah i win).

 dad mentioned that it is possible to get used mess dress for a very low price even on ebay and such so that might also be an option that will negate some cost if your eally want that uniform. The Army is also a little different all our potentials that would be Army not civilian have blue or will have to buy them anyway and their class A bottoms are the same as the ones for the mess, so they only need the jacket and cummerbund which negates the prince a little and makes it a little more worth it for them, but being a different branch and possibly not being go for 20s tuxes or giving them a choice between mess and tux might be the way to go. Ten that way if they are looking for a reason they have it, but if its to much they aren't forced.

desertmomnm

My husband wore his mess dress AF uniform.  He looked so hot!  We didn't have any other military attendants so the groomsmen wore tuxes that matched in formality to his (i.e. bowties instead of windsor ties like I wanted).  It looked great.