Navy deployments

KendallR10

I have a friend about to start one with her new Boyfriend. 

Can anyone give some insite to what she might be expecting to deal with? 

I've never been through a Navy deployment. So I'm no help to her

AmandaSC1988

Lets see, normally they go on a boat, protect some stuff, and sing "I'm on a boat" the whole time. 

In all seriousness, I think the boyfriend would be the best option for her to talk to. Navy deployments vary greatly in time (3 - 9 months) and "danger" depending on their rate. As long as they are talking face to face  and in confidence he should be able  to answer most of her questions better than any of us can (Unless he has some super secret job and then who really knows that he does).

KendallR10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:4a02326b-7ff3-4e4b-9cde-93f21aa076f0">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]Lets see, normally they go on a boat, protect some stuff, and sing "I'm on a boat" the whole time.  In all seriousness, I think the boyfriend would be the best option for her to talk to. Navy deployments vary greatly in time (3 - 9 months) and "danger" depending on their rate. As long as they are talking face to face  and in confidence he should be able  to answer most of her questions better than any of us can (Unless he has some super secret job and then who really knows that he does).
Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]
He lives in WA and she lives in CA. He's deploying in the near near near future. I'm just wondering if she's gonna go weeks with out talking to him or if she can send him stuff to his ship

AmandaSC1988

He shouldn't be giving date out over the phone/internet, so I hope the dates have not been compromised.

It really depends on what type of ship he is on and his rank..some can get internet all the time, some get one once a week, others only when they pull into port. Pretty sure they are only allowed to call is when they pull into port, but then again that varies a lot on the ship...sometimes they won't even get that. FI hasn't been a long enough cruise to warrent sending a care package so I don't know anything about that.

KendallR10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:ccfd1ac7-cb47-4c12-b809-c953a31186ae">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]He shouldn't be giving date out over the phone/internet, so I hope the dates have not been compromised. It really depends on what type of ship he is on and his rank..some can get internet all the time, some get one once a week, others only when they pull into port. Pretty sure they are only allowed to call is when they pull into port, but then again that varies a lot on the ship...sometimes they won't even get that. FI hasn't been a long enough cruise to warrent sending a care package so I don't know anything about that.
Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]
He told her when they were both here for thanksgiving

LetsHikeToday

Why doesn't she sign up and post here?

KendallR10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:6d191c7d-3b5c-4e14-b5a3-1ca3a9ff43d1">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]Why doesn't she sign up and post here?
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]
 I suggested it and she said "thanks but no thanks. message boards aren't really my thing."

LetsHikeToday

I don't know. I just feel that if she wants to know what to expect, then she would go out and try to learn.

amh04

1- They can call from the ship, they need a ship to shore card. Some of us (we did) opted not to, and FI only called from port because the ship phones suck royally (at least on our ships)
2 - She needs to go to their FRG meetings, meaning he needs to list her as a person to recieve emails from the Ombudsman and from the ships FRG (family readiness group) While I opted to stay far away from FIs ships one, it is good to go at least once.
3 - I'd suggest she make friends with some of the wives/gfs who have SO's on that ship
4 - It really does depend on his rate and where they are deploying to. Some of them are really busy during the day. FI worked 16-18 hour days and was pretty busy most of the time. I got emails at least once a day, unless communication was shut down or FI had no time. I'd recommend having her emails go straight to her phone - also they can email texts to phones and texts to emails on your phone - just send an email as a text to email@navy.mil
5 - I'd just recommend her staying busy, set goals for her self, try new things, and try to stay positive. Don't dwell on the fact he is gone, it doesn't help. There will be bad days and good days.
6 - From ONLY what I personally have experienced, I found it hard to relate to anyone who didn't do a ship deployment (navy has ship and shore and boots on ground mind you) because we didn't get to skype ever, (unless your in port and I wanted FI to go out and have fun in port) and communication wasn't ever all that great. We opted for port phone calls because they were cheaper and I didn't want to spend money to say 'I love you' .... wait 5-10 seconds ' I miss you' wait 5 to 10 seconds... 'how are you' 'hey, baby 'whats it' how' like' out' there' are you' (his sentence and my sentence combined). So I would go 4-8 weeks without a phone call.
7 - Anything I didn't say someone else might... it really does depend on ship/location and his rate.

amh04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:7a93e247-8983-4b91-a061-92dd31246a25">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know. I just feel that if she wants to know what to expect, then she would go out and try to learn.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

this too. i actually hate the 'what do i expect' when he deploys question.. i can understand asking 'how is communication' when he is deployed. but.. it gets annoying - everyone handles deployments differently so to ask that is like asking a blanket question or like asking a black sheep what its like to be a white sheep or something along those lines.

kara811

Do you know what kind of ship he's on? Carrier or one of the smaller ones? If it's a carrier, I think I might know which one since it seems he's station in Everett(saw your post to FTL.) 

Navy deployments typically last 6-9 months, the shorter ones that last a few weeks are usually just work ups. Sometimes it really depends on his rate on how much access he has to a computer, the higher you are, the better odds at it especially if you are working in an office. Although, there are libraries on board which has computers he can go on, he'll just have to find time to go and get on one in order to email her. Typically, there are long lines which could last up to an hour of waiting, which is why a lot of people don't get emails every day, the sailors don't want to waste their time waiting in line. As far as phone calls, he can call her from the ship, but it gets expensive. A phone card costs $25 for about a 45 minute phone call, which is why some sailors don't always call home. The reception is also almost always crappy, there's a tendency to always get cut off. They usually make a few port calls during underway, and the sailors get some time off(not all the time though), at this time he can try to Skype her. 

IMO, how a communication goes during deployment really depends on the effort of both ends. Even when my H was still a newb, he still emails 1-2 times a day no matter how long he has to wait in line. We also made a deal of him calling me once a week, which is a lot more than what others get. He doesn't mind waiting in line at the phone booth either. I've seen other relationships crumble because of the lack of effort and communication. There will be times that the internet for the whole ship is down though, so there will be days or up to a week that she won't get anything at all. She should be making a huge effort too by sending him emails everyday, mailing him care packages, writing actual letters. It doesn't seem like she's really making an effort in learning about the Navy, since she won't even get on here herself. 

LetsHikeToday

Honestly, Navy deployments are all different. H is gone 60-90 days.

SamiJoeB

Kendall- You've never been through any deployment right?  No offense, but why would she even ask you for advice on dealing with a deployment, if you've never been through one? 

firsttimersluck

*threadjack*

I'm guessing this 'friend' is deploying on the same boat as Beach's hubby... 

I turned on the tv this morning and the local news was talking about the up and coming deployment and had a shot of the boat.. It totally bummed me out for her  

*end threadjack*

amh04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:daf76707-d98f-4181-a2a1-ee8f54ca21af">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]*threadjack* I'm guessing this 'friend' is deploying on the same boat as Beach's hubby...  I turned on the tv this morning and the local news was talking about the up and coming deployment and had a shot of the boat..<strong> It totally bummed me out for her :/</strong>  *end threadjack*
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

I agree, I hate hearing that friends hubbys/FI's are deploying :( Deployments are sucky. While a lot of good can come out of them, there still really sucky. good vibes and thoughts for beachy.

KendallR10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:fd165ef5-011d-4d91-abd9-b45168a491c8">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]Kendall- You've never been through any deployment right?  No offense, but why would she even ask you for advice on dealing with a deployment, if you've never been through one? 
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]
I've been through a depoyment with two different boyfriends. One was a Marine and one was in the Army. I have not been through one with H

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:396e4546-2af8-4e31-afc3-9e378549281f">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Navy deployments : I've been through a depoyment with two different boyfriends. One was a Marine and one was in the Army. I have not been through one with H
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

Really?  You're 19, right?  And you've been with your H for a year now (a year and a month, since I know you pick up the most RIDICULOUS details to correct, rather than addressing the point).  So you were 18 when you guys started dating.  Deployments in the Army are typically over a year, and Marines are a little less than a year.  So did you date two guys in the two years leading up to meeting your H?  Who were both military, and you dated them exclusively for the time they were deployed?  Or did you somehow start dating them before they deployed, which means it would be more than 2 years total... so you'd be 14 or 15?  And they would have to be at least 18 to deploy so....  yeah, this just sounds like a mess to me.

Zimsgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:36282e9f-3c13-45ba-a922-71b69d944e86">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Navy deployments : Really?  You're 19, right?  And you've been with your H for a year now (a year and a month, since I know you pick up the most RIDICULOUS details to correct, rather than addressing the point).  So you were 18 when you guys started dating.  Deployments in the Army are typically over a year, and Marines are a little less than a year.  So did you date two guys in the two years leading up to meeting your H?  Who were both military, and you dated them exclusively for the time they were deployed?  Or did you somehow start dating them before they deployed, which means it would be more than 2 years total... so you'd be 14 or 15?  And they would have to be at least 18 to deploy so....  <strong>yeah, this just sounds like a mess to me.</strong>
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
LOL I agree

AmandaSC1988

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:36282e9f-3c13-45ba-a922-71b69d944e86">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Navy deployments : Really?  You're 19, right?  And you've been with your H for a year now (a year and a month, since I know you pick up the most RIDICULOUS details to correct, rather than addressing the point).  So you were 18 when you guys started dating.  Deployments in the Army are typically over a year, and Marines are a little less than a year.  So did you date two guys in the two years leading up to meeting your H?  Who were both military, and you dated them exclusively for the time they were deployed?  <strong>Or did you somehow start dating them before they deployed, which means it would be more than 2 years total... so you'd be 14 or 15?  And they would have to be at least 18 to deploy so....  yeah, this just sounds like a mess to me.</strong>
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I was thinking the same thing. My bet is she changes her story and they WERE her boyfriends, they broke up before they even joined the military and they are still on deployment...probably the same person that cried because they can't roll their sleeves anymore. What ever happened to that picture...eh?</div><div>

</div>

ggirl2001

My brain hurts.

calindi

Oh, no, Amanda, that was the "friend" who she had never met but became pen-pals with and then she called him her best friend, and her then-FI didn't have any problem with her sending him care packages and talking to him, and she was going to have him on her side of the wedding party, but then decided to have him on her then-FI's side of the wedding party and remove a groomsman or something.

Yeah, ggirl, pass the Advil, please!

ggirl2001

I just look at my wedding picture ( sig pic) and I just want to be exactly at the moment again. That wine was delicious.

crownsuperstar

Girls I have Goody Headache Powders.  They are nasty but works wonders.  Thank goodness today is Wine Wed!!!

Zimsgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:262b289f-1699-413d-a37a-68a231d42a8a">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, no, Amanda, that was the "friend" who she had never met but became pen-pals with and then she called him her best friend, and her then-FI didn't have any problem with her sending him care packages and talking to him, and she was going to have him on her side of the wedding party, but then decided to have him on her then-FI's side of the wedding party and remove a groomsman or something. Yeah, ggirl, pass the Advil, please!
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
Wow I'm impressed you remembered all of that and kept it straight haha. :P

firemedicrr

If it is true that you went through deployments with 2 previous mil bf's (which sounds really unlikely for all the reasons that Cal stated) and now you're married to another mil servicemember and you're only 19, somebody sounds an awful lot like a tag-chaser to me. just saying.

and Cal- I love you. I'm still wondering about those pics too. 

I'll take some advil too. 

ggirl2001

Fire-I just snorted/laughed reading your post. I heart you!

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:a8b02702-ca5a-4a4a-a4ef-3ae1c325deb6">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Navy deployments : Wow I'm impressed you remembered all of that and kept it straight haha. :P
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

My brain is full of useless data.  I remember the most random, pointless things and can't seem to grasp important things, like remembering people's names.  I'm horrible at that. 

kyrgyzstan

YEAH! Where's that picture?! As for deployments, I don't think they suck, I think this separation has been fantastic thus far. I miss him a ton, of course, but I've really been focusing on the positives, of which there are many.

Zimsgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:4c6e26e1-d941-4096-9dca-cf9556653800">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Navy deployments : My brain is full of useless data.  I remember the most random, pointless things and can't seem to grasp important things, like remembering people's names.  I'm horrible at that. 
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
Same here!

Zimsgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:478ca4ce-ccda-46de-90e6-b45219c6b26a">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]If it is true that you went through deployments with 2 previous mil bf's (which sounds really unlikely for all the reasons that Cal stated) and now you're married to another mil servicemember and you're only 19, <strong>somebody sounds an awful lot like a tag-chaser to me</strong>. just saying. and Cal- I love you. I'm still wondering about those pics too.  I'll take some advil too. 
Posted by firemedicrr[/QUOTE]
I just busted up laughing haha!

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-deployments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b4f06ede-800b-4902-b4be-6da6461b16afPost:d0374b96-7ec1-4423-badc-a7100c3f7327">Re: Navy deployments</a>:
[QUOTE]YEAH! Where's that picture?! As for deployments, I don't think they suck, I think this separation has been fantastic thus far. I miss him a ton, of course, but I've really been focusing on the positives, of which there are many.
Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]

Stan I think you're starting to rub off on me. I see people b!tching all over Facebook and I'm just like "eh". When he leave again, I'll adapt and continue my routine.