Deployed fiancé

Ambear0913

My FH is an officer in the army. He just deployed. Between missing him/wishing I could talk to him, not knowing what to do next with the wedding planning, and having things I need to get done to transfer to an online degree program I'm jsut overwhelmed and all my friends have apparently gone MIA because it's summer and we're all college students.

With not being able to talk to him there is nothing I can do. But with the wedding I feel like there's nothing I can do because I live 8 hours from San Antonio, where we're having the wedding, and it's hard for me to travel right at this moment. The wedding date is set for June 9th, 2012. I have decided on colors, flowers, bridesmaids and my MOH, I've decided on ceremony and reception location and my FMIL is taking care of getting the church and reception sight booked. I still need the last part of my FH's guest list before I can do anything that is going to involve needing the number of guests that will or might be there. I can't do much with the flowers because for my bouquets I'm using fresh flowers and until I get a good feel for how many tables I'll need I won't know how many centerpieces or favors to do. All the good dress shops near my town are an hour or more away and I don't have anywhere I can go to get my measurements so I know them or I would shop online. I just don't know what I can do without being in San Antonio or without the full guest list. I've gotten most of the registry done, too! Without having something to do for the wedding....I honestly don't know how I'll keep from going insane while he is gone. A lot of the things that help a lot of people cope like writing stuff out just makes me worse.

Any suggestions on coping with him being gone as well as things I can do with the wedding that I don't need to be down in San Antonio for and don't need a guest list to do would be helpful. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed and don't have anyone who understands what it's like for the person you love to not be there when you have grown so used to them being by your side or a phone call away all the time.

greeneke2

I'm not trying to be mean but you just gave out WAY WAY WAY too much information about your fiance. (i.e. when he deployed, where he is, how long he will be gone) you might want to edit those pieces of info out of your post and read up on OPSEC.

As far as what to do while he is gone:

1.  work out

2.  get a job

3.  make a list of books to read (if you want a military related one, "Confessions of a Military Wife" by Mollie Gross is amazing and will definitely make you laugh)

4.  Write letters to your fiance

5.  Send Care packages

And I feel like there are lots of things you can do for your wedding.  Maybe start to tackle some DIY projects like making a card box, or whatever you feel like making.  The DIY board has lots of amazing ideas!

SamiJoeB

Green said it nicely. I'm not always so nice. Take that stuff out of your post immediately. Take out where he was stationed, where he is, when he left, and even take out how long you think he may be gone... OPSEC/PERSEC are HUGE, and This board takes them really seriously.

http://www.heartsofourtroops.com/opsec_rules2.htm
http://www.militaryspot.com/resources/opsec-and-persec/

There are a ton of things you can do for your wedding. Stop saying "I Can't". You said that like a million times in your post. Like Green said, Check out the DIY board, or like I tell all the ladies that post on here asking for how to cope, Work out, Get a Job, Volunteer, adopt a puppy, teach yourself to play guitar or how to knit, take a class (like scrapbooking, or sewing), Read all the Harry Potter books. The key to surviving separation is distraction. You have to be able to be your own person, and exist independently of your FI, otherwise, you will not be okay. You can't sit around and mope and feel sorry for yourself. You're the not the first girl to go through this, and you won't be the last.  We all know how hard it is, we've all been there, either survived a deployment, or unaccompanied orders(thats what my H has), or are separated from their SO currently. Shan JUST got married last weekend, and her H had to go back to training. Kara's H just left.. We support each other, and cheer each other up. You have to get yourself motivated to do something. Challenge yourself to run a marathon or something..

iluvmytxrgr

1. Please google OPSEC and PERSEC.  You have seriously over shared.  You have put your self in danger.  You have also put your FI and everyone he is with in danger.  Please edit your post. 
2.  Have a bit more confidence in your self.  Saying you can't do something is giving up.  It's saying you are too weak or not good enough to do it. 
3. There are many, many things you can do with out being in SA.  Research vendors.  Get on the SA boards and get recs from the brides there.  You can do this if you decide you can do it.
4. As far as him being gone and you coping.  You just do it.  Find things to keep you busy.  Plan your wedding.  Have a weekly girl's night.  Start a new hobby. 

eandngalloway

Ok, you've probably edited your post, since I definitely can't figure out where he is, so I'm going to focus on your questions.
Dealing with deployment sucks, but I wrote my FI an email every single day.  That helped me a lot, and he wrote back as often as he could.  Be aware that he's going to omit a lot of stuff, so don't ask him if he's encountered anything nasty. 
The week after my FI came home someone asked him if he had to shoot anyone.  Let's just say I was very prepared to shoot that someone! 
He also needs you to not constantly tell him you're worried, and don't share the teeny tiny problems with him.  He still wants to be part of your life, but don't make him worry about you worrying about him, etc.  It makes him feel bad about leaving and it won't help him do his job.
You should also consider sending him pictures, and keeping a journal during the day so you can literally tell him everything you did that day. 
Send him REAL cards also, little greeting cards and I love you cards, for every holiday, anniversary and excuse you can think of. 
Also, as all deployed persons do, they appreciate food in their care packages.
Good luck!