Marine soon-to-be- wife

bamagirl6993

so im not exactly sure how you handle having a fiance' who just left for Marine Corp Basic. my fiance' left today to go to Parris Island and hes gonna be gone for 13 weeks. i just need a support group to help me out. if anyone is in my position please comment or if you just wanna give advice please do so.

kyrgyzstan

You're not only a soon to be wife, he's a soon to be Marine (right now he's a recruit, not a Marine).

Congrats on your engagement! When are you planning on getting married? My major advice is to NOT get married while he's on post boot leave. Give yourselves both some time to acclimate to this crazy new life, let him get through MOS school, let him get to the fleet Marine Corps, I'd really advise waiting through a deployment if possible. Did he contract with a specific MOS (job)?

As far as the separation, 13 weeks will fly by. Find stuff to do for distraction, work out, read, devote time to a hobby, take summer school if you've not yet graduated, etc.

marinesgirl+2009

I'm also a fiance of a Marine. He and I have made it past the boot camp part. And not gonna lie, it will not be easy. But it's definitely worth it. That first hug and kiss after the seperation is incredible. Keep yourself busy, thats the best advice anyone can give you. I'm here if you need anything.(: Another good thing is to create a blog and connect with other military girls for support. Tumblr is a really good blog site and it has SOO many military lovers.

megmac24

100% agree with Stan. Let him hit the fleet before you even consider a wedding. If you can wait until after his first deployment, do it! FI and I have been through so much together and it's really helped our relationship and it's helped me learn what to expect once we're married. I am SO thankful we waited to get married until after a deployment. It's not easy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

As for the next 13 weeks, KEEP BUSY! Start reading new books, join a gym, hang out with friends, watch lots of movies, and write him letters. He'll appreciate it. Once you get to see him graduate as a Marine it will all be worth it in the end. My FI's graduation was one of the most amazing days. 

SarahP787

As PP's said, definitely a good idea to wait and not to add the crazy of a wedding on top of the crazy of you both getting situated with the Marines!

It's super important to develop your own life that is separate from your fiance. As everyone said, keep busy! But not just doing random stuff, make it something you like! Develop friendships and support, learn new stuff, and do our own thing. Not to say that he shouldn't be an important part of your life - but he can't be the only thing, or you'll go insane whenever he's gone.

firsttimersluck

Youll find a lot of people with fiance's in boot, headed to boot, deployed, etc here. It's a tough, but worthwhile relationship to have. Be proud of your soon-to-be marine, as they are an INCREDIBLE group of men and women.
It's easy to want to have your own pity party, and don't be afraid to do so, but understand that he will be going through a lot and needs your support through it all.
You can certainly find support here for yourself, as you support him.

firsttimersluck

I dated a marine for a while. bootcamp definitely made him a bit of a stiff for a while, but that's to be expected, he loosened up and became "himself" again after gettting reacclimated to the civilian world after such an intense submersion. They really are the best of the best, though.. something to be proud of him for all the way through.

jamie5482

Congratulations on your engagement! I agree with the suggestions to wait to get married (if you can) until after you experience a deployment. My FI and I were dating for a little over 6 months when he deployed and it really helped us to realize we had something special and made our relationship that much stronger. 

Best advice: keep busy! Always remember that you have your own life to lead too so don't give up your goals. It helps going through separations when you have your own things going on (job, school, hobbies, friends, family, etc). 

SamiJoeB

Marine Wife here, I've always agreed with the statement "A deployment can make or break a relationship". It's so true. My H is considered forward deployed (ie stationed overseas). He left on Valentine's Day 2010, and I've only seen him twice since then (one of those times was for our wedding!). The MC lifestyle is a big adjustment. It's crazy. You get little to no say in where you go, when he deploys, as a dependent, I don't even get to pick my own doctor!

Write him a letter every day, letters got me through boot (and my boot camp was only 9 weeks). But you have to learn to be okay on your own, because if he's a lifer, or if he just does 4 years, You'll be alone alot... Start reading a new book series (I'm still hardcore pushing Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series, I am totally addicted to them!!), take up a new hobby, take a class like scrapbooking or cooking, meet new friends and have a girls night once a week, cook your way through a cookbook. There are a million things to keep yourself occupied while he's gone. It'll fly by.

ggirl2001

Ditto everyone else. Honestly, boot camp isn't that bad if you stay busy and continue to have a life basically. I looked forward to the letters from him and planning my trip down there for graduation. That was also the time I increased my hours at work so I was working a ton too.

Definitely wait to plan a wedding until after boot camp and deployment. When my FI got out of bootcamp he was then sent to two different schools and then to where we are now. He got here in March and was deployed by next January. We had enough time to plan a wedding but we had other things to take care of first and wanted to save up money. I will have been engaged for about a year and 5 months by the time we get married. We will have been long distance for over 2 years now. It is totally doable without rushing to get married.

Ditto Sami and the Janet Evanovich books. THey are flipping hysterical.

future=mrs=feher

Remember a couple things and you will be fine. Things in the military are always subject to the needs of the many... meaning be flexible as much as possilbe and don't take needing to change some details or dates. Getting dates more than a month out means that it is REALLY subject to change. 

Have a couple different gal pals. Have the friends who are good for shopping or movies or parties. Have the friends who are good for girl's nights in. painting toes, making popcorn, looking at wedding dresses. I know our significant other is usually our best friend and we tell them everything so it is hard to be without them (currently going through txt withdrawals myself). It might help to keep a journal (you might want to stay away from blogging- opt for pen and paper) and I wrote mine a page everyday when he went though boot a few years ago. Take some pics of you that he can show the other guys. Mine cherished a pic I sent him of me in a white sundress that i wore on one of our last dates before they shipped him out. 

Most imporantly like the others have said keep busy! If you don't have a hobby think of something you find cool. Take some dance classes? I read some trashy romance novels. Learn some new recipies if you like to cook? We are both in the SCA and I made a large elizabethan court gown with underpinnings when he left. Then I bought sead pearls and silver thread and applied those to the bodice of the dress. Then I went back and made improvements to the gown because I discovered that I could have done much better: reattaching the skirt to the bodice with different pleating styles. Reapplying the cord trim on the skirt by hand. Changing out the buttons on the front. The list goes on. 

Don't cloister yourself!