We're both military and deploying...

Rachel2015

I need help ladies.  Both my man and I are deploying soon and are planning our wedding that is happening sometime next year to early the following year.  Anyone have suggestions for planning while deployed?  Also, are there any sites that help with both spouses being in? 

firsttimersluck

YES!
TheKnot made planning while H was deployed supe rfun and easy. I would "save" things to "my favorites" and he would hop on whenever he could and add some, and delete the ones of mine he didn't like, we would e-mail back and forth with each other and a specific topic at a time, etc. it made things easy. He LOVED tinkering with the budget calc on here, as well as the "to do" list. I think Guys like lists ) haha
Since you don't have a specific date set yet, start by making a list of venues you find online in your area, send it to him and let him veto a couple to send baack to you, theny ou have a list of venues to contact and get info on. You can either decide to choose them based on those emails (don't forge to fwd them to him so he can see!) or you can wait and check them out when you guys get back
Repeat with cake
repeat with flowers
repeat with caterer..
 etc
Keep in mind that you can't book a caterer until you do have that venue and/or date picked because they need to know if they have it available.
You can do it! Just keep those e-mails going back and forth with your Fi to make sure you're on the same page! And we're here to help too We're good google-ers )
When you deploy bring a bunch of bridal magazines with you, and ahve your family send some in your care packages. That will keep the ideas flowing for you! (your area will also have a specific magazine for vendors.. that's a GREAT one to pick up and start researching with!)

Let us know if there's any way we can help
Congratulations and thank you so much for your (and your fi's) service! 

Rachel2015

It's my job. Thank you for all the great advice!

firsttimersluck

Absolutely. I know you guys won't always be at points where you can both get to a computer and the internet quickly, so rely on your family to check out caterers and venues for you (if that's possible) and snap a bunch of photos for you as well! That can really help you if you want to make decisions without seeing it for yourself.

We planned a LOT of our wedding while H was deployed. Do you know what your theme/colors/feel of the wedding is yet? That will definitely help get the ball rolling for you guys. And like I said, we are all more than happy to help! We know that it can be a pain and a lot of us planned weddings while being long distance from the location and/or from H's.
Keep us updated on your progress!

shan87

I would also add if you have someone close to you that you trust, to use them as your eyes. Granted you and your FI are okay with it, perhaps ask them to do a walk through and report back to you both. That may help with first impressions.

Worse case scerenio if you are feeling mega overwhelmed you could get a Wedding Planner. But I would make sure they are reputable and share your vision or understand it. Unfortunately I have heard a couple stories of Wedding Planners running off with money/deposits etc.

Rachel2015

Thank you for the idea as well, another obstacle is that we don't have close friends out here (where we are stationed), and our families live in other states.  That in it self will be difficult as to a time and place for a wedding.  My sister gets married next Oct and anywhere we have it both families will be coming from about 10 states.  Most do not have the money and some won't travel further than a state away.  I just hope it all works out. 

firsttimersluck

It will work out!! Don't let yourself get overwhelmed! H and I struggled with picking a place to marry as well. If you want all the planning done by the time you get back from deployment, I would consider choosing one of your hometowns where people are to help you.. If you want to hold it in your current station, consider picking a place like a hotel that has a coordinator, caterer, rentals, decor, etc all right there in one package. THose two options would help relieve some stress on you!

iluvmytxrgr

My advice would be to hire a wedding planner.  Be sure to hire someone who has great reviews and comes highly recomended.  Let that person be your eyes and ears.  If your mom or someone else can get there to meet her at least once, that would help.  Have the planner take pics of everything and email them to you. 

LOLways

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_were-military-deploying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b6a57c8f-057d-4f67-91cc-0844a3274136Post:e49ee30f-e116-45b4-8baf-f72eebe3318a">Re: We're both military and deploying...</a>:
[QUOTE]My advice would be to hire a wedding planner.  Be sure to hire someone who has great reviews and comes highly recomended.  Let that person be your eyes and ears.  If your mom or someone else can get there to meet her at least once, that would help.  Have the planner take pics of everything and email them to you. 
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree. A REALLY good planner will be pricey but worth it for you. Plus you guys will be making some extra $ in deployment pay/ tax free, so I would justify the expense that way:) One of the sergeants at my last job made insaaaaane money when she and her H deployed at the same time. She said they paid like no income tax that year since the two of them deployed for the amount of time they were, with the tax-free, put them below the poverty line on taxable income or something, LOL. Obviously being apart from each other and their kids was rough, but at least making extra money brightens things up a bit.</div><div>
</div><div>Also, don't forget to talk about things OTHER than wedding stuff while yall are deployed. With all the planning, it might be hard, but don't focus only on that. Maybe come up with something to read every day and discuss together or something. A religious book, a book of poems, a novel if you guys share a favorite author? Or maybe both do crossfit while you're over there so you can talk about that?</div><div>
</div><div>Edit: grammar.</div>

calindi

Hi and welcome! Have you thought about getting married where your parents are so you can enlist their help? It might make it easier for the family that would have to travel. I recommend planning for a holiday well after you both are scheduled to return - maybe Fourth of July? There's still plenty of time to plan for met summer. Or Labor Day weekend, or Thanksgiving (my friends who are both AD Army got married the day after Thanksgiving, and everyone loved it). It gives you both the best chance of being able to make it to your own wedding, plus any military guests you have. Also, definitely add a military clause to all vendor contracts that states something to the effect of, "Should either the bride or groom's military service make it impossible for one or both to attend the wedding as planned, the vendor agrees to transfer the deposit to a mutually agreeable date or refund the balance in full, minus any costs already incurred.". This could potentially save you thousands if plans get screwy, as they often can with the military! Best wishes, and we're happy to help! I'm not deployed, but I am 2000 miles from where I'm getting married and have booked all my vendors without meeting them face-to-face. The advice of knotties on my local board has been invaluable in selecting vendors. That and WeddingWire!

myrauge

Hey I am happy someone else is in the same boat.  He is deploying next year and so am I.  We wanted to have the wedding after he came back so I was thing 2013.  Then I thought of all the issues with deploying unmarried.  Not money at all but if he gets hurt or I do and we can't have any say.  Or put each other on SGLI.  Did you think about doing a JOP just for the deployment time?  He suggested it for us, what do you think of that idea?

calindi

You can definitely take care of those things even if you aren't married. You can be put on each other's life insurance as beneficiaries and can be added as the point of contact for any news. You can also have fill Power of Attorneys (the JAG office should be able to give you forms to fill out in about 1 min tops for full legal and medical power of attorney, or you can opt-in/opt-out of whochever clauses you'd prefer). That's all a married couple gets, anyway!

aor9487

I say either hire a wedding planner that you can really trust to take care of things while you're gone, or do the previously suggested idea of both of you adding favorites and emailing back and forth when you can. 

Don't get too overwhelmed while you're deployed over details about the wedding. I know it's going to be tough to be away from each other, but the great thing about technology is that it helps connect us in ways that weren't available "back in the day".(Skype was a great tool while I was deployed). This board has been a great help to me. These ladies on here are AMAZING and have so many wonderful ideas. You know that if you ever get stuck or overwhelmed by something, you can turn to this place. HTH!

dmiller86

Kind of the same boat...we were planning for next summer, and then I found out I am getting deployed. We compromised by doing a JOP thing, but making it a lil fancy...25 ppl, vintage ivory tea-length dress played up with some leopard print heels, and a sit down dinner at a 5star restaurant with our family and friends afterwards. No DJ, No big dance party, but who cares. It's called being "non-traditional". Plus we are doing it on New Years Day so lots of family will be in town. If you must do it big, I would say wedding planner is a MUST.

Next recommendation: an iPad (as long as your deployed location has some type of wifi like mine thankfully does!)