Have to cancel VR

roravec

So, my H and I got married last December.. just a little JOP ceremony with our parents over lunch. He's in the Army, we moved from NY to Arizona immediately after. We've been planning this big (120ish guest) "wedding-like-vow-renewal" to be held on our one year.
Just found out that we're moving to Germany. Don't get me wrong, that's awesome, I'm so excited..
but now we have to cancel it.. there's very little to no way that we can get back to NY for it. So if, in a few years when we get back, we decide that my heart still longs to wear a beautiful white dress and walk down the aisle, and my family is still pushing me to have one, because they want to see it.. then maybe we will try again later, like on our 5 year or something..
Now, I sent out STD's last Christmas to announce that we were getting married but that they would be invited this coming year. Now I need to send something calling it off.. and I just don't know how to word it.

Help me, please and thank you.

Beachy730

You could just send out postcards or something saying "Due to our upcoming move overseas, the vow renewal we were planning  for X date will not be taking place.  We look forward to hopefully celebrating our marriage with you in the future."

firsttimersluck

awww I'm so sorry That's the military for you. Where are you going in Germany? You will love it... I lived there almost 8 years with the Army, but had to move with our post closed (Wuerzburg) and they moved the 1st id headquarters. I wish you a smooth  PCS and luck with the wording.. I'm sure there are way more people on here that would be better about that than myself. >_<

ESquared423

I am in the same boat as you, kind of. We had an AHR planned for October but I just took a job that will only allow me to take a week off if that, meaning..after travel time is considered..5 days to split between 2 different states. Not. happening.

We literally sent out save-the-dates last week, and now we need to somehow let everyone know, nevermind! I feel bad. But we are going home next month for 2 weeks now and will see everyone and party in a much more low-scale way. It's just so sudden and I'm not sure if a phone call is better than sending out a whole new batch of postcards. What do you ladies think?

I don't want to take away from your question roravec! I just didn't want to start a whole new thread for essentially the same thing. I like dnbeach's advice, a postcard with that info should definitely suffice and everyone will (or should) completely understand.

mob2689

totaly agree with Beach and Square. People will truely understand, and a postcard with what Beach stated would be great. Hopefully in 5 or so years as you stated, you can have what you truley hoped for.
 
Looking back on all if this and reading posts,  I am glad DD chose to do her wedding the way she is in many, many ways.


Enjoy your time in Germany, DD & her then husband will be there as well soon.

Beach you are awsome, just have to put that out there 

roravec

Yeah, DH still thinks we might be able to work it out to be home for a week or two and still do the VR. He's going to try, which is nice.. but I'm not going to get my hopes up.
I just feel so bad about it.. and people ahve already askd about registries, and MOH was tryign to arrange a shower.. and I think mostly I am upset because of all the work I put into it, and now it's like.. nope. Luckily, we had explained everythign to our vendors, that we weren't sure yet where he would be stationed, but that he had been told it would be conUS. so we hadn't put down any deposits.. we just weren't expecting this. at all.
But yes, thanks for the advice - postcard seems a lot better than letter in a 4x6 envelope. And I would probably pull all my hair out if I made all those phone calls. However, I'll wait until DH gets an official NO about coming home.. Juusssttt in case.

Squared- that stinks. How many people was it? If it's not too many, a phone call might be easier, but any more than like 20 households, I would probably send postcards again.
I know people will be understanding, for both of our circumstances, it's just a little disappointing after getting all excited for it.
Thanks again!

SamiJoeB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cancel-vr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b8eed96d-3f5c-4c43-b0c4-3e1645d69bfbPost:40978a6a-0a52-4065-b300-3c1fc7bf6e1f">Re: Have to cancel VR</a>:
[QUOTE]You could just send out postcards or something saying "Due to our upcoming move overseas, the vow renewal we were planning  for X date will not be taking place.  We look forward to hopefully celebrating our marriage with you in the future."
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

^^This. Short, Sweet and to the point.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cancel-vr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b8eed96d-3f5c-4c43-b0c4-3e1645d69bfbPost:346d69b1-ecf3-4ab8-b210-c6e2f460345e">Re: Have to cancel VR</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, DH still thinks we might be able to work it out to be home for a week or two and still do the VR. He's going to try, which is nice.. but I'm not going to get my hopes up. I just feel so bad about it.. <strong>and people ahve already askd about registries, and MOH was tryign to arrange a shower.. </strong>and I think mostly I am upset because of all the work I put into it, and now it's like.. nope. Luckily, we had explained everythign to our vendors, that we weren't sure yet where he would be stationed, but that he had been told it would be conUS. so we hadn't put down any deposits.. we just weren't expecting this. at all. But yes, thanks for the advice - postcard seems a lot better than letter in a 4x6 envelope. And I would probably pull all my hair out if I made all those phone calls. However, I'll wait until DH gets an official NO about coming home.. Juusssttt in case. Squared- that stinks. How many people was it? If it's not too many, a phone call might be easier, but any more than like 20 households, I would probably send postcards again. :/ I know people will be understanding, for both of our circumstances, it's just a little disappointing after getting all excited for it. Thanks again!
Posted by roravec[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well consider yourself lucky on the bolded part, because it would have been horribly tacky to have a bridal shower as an already married woman.  Those are the things you forego by going the route you did.

</div>

ESquared423

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cancel-vr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b8eed96d-3f5c-4c43-b0c4-3e1645d69bfbPost:346d69b1-ecf3-4ab8-b210-c6e2f460345e">Re: Have to cancel VR</a>:
[QUOTE]Squared- that stinks. How many people was it? If it's not too many, a phone call might be easier, but any more than like 20 households, I would probably send postcards again. :/ I know people will be understanding, for both of our circumstances, it's just a little disappointing after getting all excited for it. Thanks again!
Posted by roravec[/QUOTE]

It was for 110 people, I was going to have my husband call his side and me call mine..probably like 30 phone calls when all is said and done. But, since we are going home in a month and have not sent out official invites (just STDs), I think we are just going to go home and when we see everyone..because we will pretty much see everyone who was on the list..we're just going to tell them in person "Hey, this is the only trip we could make it home this year so unfortunately the party in October is no more"..and then we can handle any questions or whatever right there in person. I'm much more excited to go home when we are than in October, the only part that bites is that my Dad had already put the deposit down for the caterer and we will now be paying him back $1250...I know he'll tell me he won't accept it, but there's no way I wouldn't pay him back!

I hope it all works out for you and you and the hubs can make it back for your VR!