Open Letters

LetsHikeToday

Dear driver of a minivan, hummer, expedition, and/or any other huge vehicle,

Learn how to park and pack out of parking spots. If you choose to drive something that huge, learn how to pack out of a parking space without doing a 25 point turn.

Thanks,
Small SUV driver


Dear lazy dog owners,

Clean up after your dog. Especially, ESPECIALLY when you are right next to the dog trash bins in our neighborhood. The amount of dog shiit in the grass, even around the trash cans, makes me sick. You shouldn't be allowed to have a dog if you don't pick up after them.

Love.

An owner who picks up after her two 75 lb. dogs

divinemsbee

Totally agree with your number two, Hike, it's ridiculous.

Dear, dear, FMIL,
Please stop using terms like "have a nice life," "go in peace," "you have all the power now," and "take care of my kid." It's passive-aggressive bullshit. My wanting to try to have a polite and considerate relationship does not mean superficial or phoney, and certainly doesn't mean that I find the idea of a relationship with you "horrible and disgusting." Also, tacking on the fact that you feel that FI has "anger issues" to the end of that statement is just icing on the cake.
Thanks,
Your FDIL who is. just. done.

My adorable Archie,
You haven't done this in weeks, why must you chew up the heels of Mumma's favorite shoes that are 6 years old and they don't sell anymore. Was that necessary?
Love,
Your exasperated but adoring Mumma.

Dear FI,
I know you wanted me to go out with you and your boys to eat a taco as big as your head, but we've been out doing something every night this week, and I just want to stay in and watch some SYTTD.
Love you so much,
Your homebody fiancee

kara811

Dear Retail/Clothing Stores, 

Can you make sure your employees ALWAYS remove those sensor things? I hate having to go back to the mall when I'm already home just to get it off! Also, when you have about 10 people working at the store, there shouldn't be just 1-2 people working as cashiers! It's the holiday season and long lines are extremely annoying especially when it can be dealt with! 

Sincerely, 

Former Sales Associate and  a Loyal Customer! 

melbelle24

Ggirl- same thing happened to me! Once I got into it (last year), I couldn't stop watching! Divine- your FMIL sounds like a real peach. I'm sorry. Dear FI, Just because I said I don't care if you go to a strip club for your "going away party" does NOT mean I want to continually talk about it until you leave. So kindly shut your mouth before I lose my temper. Love, Your ever-so-patient fiancee

melbelle24

andplusalso... Dear TK, Get your shiiit together already! It is effing ridiculous at this point. Sincerely, A trying to be loyal member

SamiJoeB

Dear H,
I am not a "terrible wife" because I didn't wish you a happy dating anniversary.  We're married, not dating.  Also, Don't get pissy with me, because I'm pissy with you because you cut our skype date short to go chat with your boyfriend.  He PCS'd and got married.. We're all married adults now. Let's act like it.  I'm your WIFE, he's just your bro.  I win.
Love,
Your Sainted Wife.

SamiJoeB

Oh! and DMB- Want to start an Anti-MIL club? Yours sounds so much like mine, it's kind of scary!!

ggirl2001

Dear Walmart,

Thanks for the email telling me that my order was shipped. You should let Best Buy know that you follow through on orders. 

Love,

a Wife who can get her husband his Christmas gift. 

LetsHikeToday

Dear Ike and Geno, It's 9:45. You should be sleeping on the couch, not having a WWE match in our living room. Love, mom

ggirl2001

Dear annoying girl on facebook,

Please stop posting hourly about how much you love your boyfriend.  We get it. All of facebook gets it. You love him so much you need to post it every hour. That's great. Except you're in your 30s, and you have cheated on him. Are you trying to force something that isn't there? 

Love,

A girl who doesn't need to talk about the love of her husband all over facebook.

Dear Best buy,

Way to ruin Christmas!

No sincerely to you!

an unhappy customer

Dear Walmart,

Hopefully you come through where Best Buy did not. 

From,

a possibly thankful customer

Dear Grey's anatomy season 1 and 2, 

You have sucked me in this week and I can't stop watching you. I also keep crying. I"m not sure how I feel about this.

Love,

Confused girl. 

Zimsgirl

Dear econ professor,

I know you are painfully slow but please post my final grade so I can stop freaking out and wondering if I passed or not. If I'm close, please bump me up so I don't have to take econ a third time.

Sincerely, 

A very annoyed student

Dear planned parenthood,

GET YOUR SH!T TOGETHER! I'm tired of having to go in multiple times because you either get my diagnosis wrong or don't give me enough antibiotics. I'm also tired of you losing my insurance information and asking me every time I'm in if I brought my new insurance card. It's the same one that I brought after Jan. 1, 2011 that you forgot to put in because you lost it til this October! Seriously, it's not that hard to keep some paperwork together!

Sincerely,

A very annoyed patient that loses money due to co-pays every time you mess up

Danidawn20

Dear Fi-

 You promised me you would clean... I have yet to ee it. I am grateful youa re here, I am but you need to help me out then. Please.

 Love,

Your overworked Fiance

Dear FSIL

 I'm here. I'm marrying yout brother. Mushrooms and other food I'm allergic too won't change that.  I know, you have issues with me. You don't like the fact that I'm catholic or something. But I'm here. Fi loves me. So please let him. I'm not leaving him or going to hurt him. 

 Your FSIL

CAB1217

Dear MB lovies, I'm getting married tomorrow!!!! And I could not have survived all the crazy without you guys! I love you all and can't wait to come back and AW the crap outta the wedding! I'm so excited!!!!! Seriously, I wish a lot of you could be here. You're all do supportive and amazing towards me! Dear Sami, Happy anniversary (since I will be in Mexico that day)! You are so strong, and so great, I wish you only the best for your marriage! Dear Shay, I hope tomorrow is as amazing as you want it to be. I am so excited for you!!! Good night everyone!!!