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Work-situation suggestions

I know you ladies are probably sick to death of hearing about my awful boss, but I'd love some perspective.

How do I tell the partners how awful my boss is being without sounding like I'm trying to be a tattletale or step over him professionally?  He's being totally anti-Semitic today and it's driving me nuts.

He was all annoyed that our company's Israeli partner hadn't responded to emails, and I said, "That's probably because it's Yom Kippur." 

And he said, "How do you know that?"

So I responded simply, "I have friends that are Jewish."

And he said, "From (your college)?"

And I said, "No, from my whole life."

And he said, "Oh, are there lots of Jews at (your college)?"

I said rather curtly, "(My college) is very diverse, so there's a lot of everything."

Mind you, this is following a conversation about two weeks ago when he said his daughters wouldn't look at urban schools because they don't have campuses, and I said that it depends on the school - I hated NYU for that reason, but loved my college (which was also urban).  And he said, "Isn't NYU full of Jews?  I wouldn't want my kids to go there."  And I said, "NYU has 20% international students and kids from around the country.  It's not "full" of anything." 

He also told me today that he met with the girl they're trying to hire as an extra person in the office, and he "warned her" about her interview with our Israeli partner next week because "she might not be used to dealing with Jews".  Now, the Israeli partner (referred to as D) is a bit more reserved and harder to read than some of the other partners, but he's a really nice guy - but seriously, why would you ever feel the need to 'warn' a potential employee about an interview with a senior partner?!   And the anti-Semitism is just ridiculous.  He was explaining to me what he said to the girl, that D is "very critical and negative", and "you know how those people are like."  Like it was a friendly way to justify it - like he's saying, "Oh, he's just Jewish!" for being critical and negative.  WHAT?! If I were that girl, I'd run for the hills!

And when talking about a project that would potentially come in from an Israeli contact, he said that he hoped it wouldn't come in because "you know what it's like to work with those people."  EXCUSE ME?!

I'm infuriated, but I'm not even Jewish so I'm afraid the partners will be like, "So?"  Though I know the Israeli partner would be incredibly hurt and upset to hear this, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news.  We also have a partner in Italy and in the UK, who I am also close with.  I just don't know how or to whom I should report this.

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Re: Work-situation suggestions

  • edited December 2011
    Is there anyone directly above him? It's sounds as if he has a discrimatory issue for whatever reason. It's wrong and needs to be addressed. I would simple just report it to whomever is directly above him, that way it isn't made to seem like you are jumping the gun and going for the top guy. If the Israeli guy is directly above him then I would go to the person above him simply since it involves the Israeli guy and you don't want to hurt his feelings obviously. I'm so sorry your having to deal with all of this, it's horrible and you shouldn't have to. :(
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    All four international partners are directly above him, and they have all asked me to reach out to them directly.  I'm just not comfortable in this situation, but I'm also not comfortable 'ratting him out' to his boss, you know?  It's not like we have an HR department - it's my boss, and then the senior partners (CEO, President, and partners, including the Israeli).

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  • LuluP82LuluP82 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hmmm. And no HR or anyone else? I'd definitely say something to one of the partners then. I wouldn't make a huge deal, just say it makes you uncomfortable. I had someone above my boss say something that made me very uncomfortable once (and bordered on sexual harrassment) so I mentioned it casually to my boss-- like not in a "I'm makiing a formal complaint" way, but in a "so and so said this to me and it made me really uncomfortable" way. (IN fact, that's just what I said word for word). It didn't get blown out of porportion, but I'm sure something was said to him as he's never once made another inappropriate comment to me, though he continually says stupid stuff to other people.
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Thanks, Lulu.  I might phrase it just like that.  The partners are all in town when I get back from vacation, so I'll probably wait and say something face-to-face.  It seems less aggressive than sending an email notifying them of what he's doing.

    He's just a walking HR nightmare.  He's made sexist comments, telling me which actresses he thinks have nice bodies and that Crossfit makes women look like men and it's unattractive (gee, thanks, dude... I don't want your fat old hamburger-and-pizza-eating butt to be attracted to me anyway!).

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  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I've not had much formal office experience, but, yeah, tell someone. That's patently offensive and ridiculous. I can't imagine how he's gotten to a position of any power with his complete lack of discretion. And if that's what he says in public, I can't imagine what he's like in his off hours (not that his off hours are the office's business, but he sounds like a horrible person).
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  • nannewmurnannewmur member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is not a "ratting out" situation but a situation where it is a matter of time before descimenatory charges are filed!!  I am quite sure you are not the only one who has noticed this!!

    You need to go to the partners and state your concerns for the sake of the company.  Say you are concerned regarding remarks made that could be deemed as racist by someone.  Then let them ask the questions.   He is an A** and it is 2011 and no one should tolerate this type of ignorance he has displayed!!
  • edited December 2011
    I'm with the group I'd go in casual about it. The other possibility is that if he confided in you about the girls interview you can use that as your main point saying how it could endanger future working relations and hiring new employees. Then you can back it up if you need to with more personal experiences. I'm sure the partners would rather hear it from you then hear it when they loose a job or piss off a client when the hear your boss say something he couldn't hold his tongue about.

    You coudl bringit up casually or not thats your comfort call - I'd bring it up as a concern, but not file a formal complaint about it. I also totally agree that you shoudl jsut hold out until they are in town. It will go over much better face to face then in an email if youw ant it to sound less tattle tale. That way they will see it if you are reluctant to share it and it will be obvious I'm sure from your tone and the way you are acting when you tell them that it is out of concernt and beterment for them and your peers, not just trying to be dificult.
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