Vow Renewal Question

casteel12

So, due to some circumstances (not military related) we had to cancel the wedding and have a JOP some time before my husband left to boot camp, there wasn't a lot of time to get a wedding together and other personal things were happening so things got a bit complicated. It wasn't what I pictured as a wedding but he is who I wanted as a husband so I was happy.Just our parents were able to go to the wedding but people knew we were doing it. I felt bad because his grandma (she was in Mexico) wasn't able to see it. We decided to have a simple one next year on what would be our 8th anniversary(dating, not married one)

Some relatives wanted us to lie about being married for the VR. Calling it a "second wedding" I didn't feel right and was stubborn that it wasn't going to happen. I got married, I have a husband why am I going to lie? With that we decided to have one that had special meaning.The JOP was kind of a rush and there was pressure so I want the VR to have special personal touches. My bouquet won't be thrown but given to my great-grandmother who had married my great-grandfather during WWII when he was in the Army. They are still alive and happy. My stepfather will help us with the vows and our fathers will give a prayer, one in English the other Spanish. I know that some things aren't proper to have, like a veil, wedding gifts or the gleaming white gown(which is ok) but what can I do to make the VR nice? I was thinking of showing the wedding tape but would that be tacky?

I would like any tips anyone has. Our thing isn't a grand thing, its mostly family and I want to keep the elegance in its simplicity. I would like any suggestions such as invitations or what better alternatives there are to the white dress. I like ivory but I also like a little bit of green in the gown.

iluvmytxrgr

I think what you have planned sounds nice.  I would keep your dress very simple.  I would look for a simple ivory gown and maybe look for a soft green sash to go with it.  Don't do a kelly green or bright color.  It wouldn't look right with the ivory.  Stick with an olive or mint color.
Most VRs I have been to contain a small ceremony where the couple renew their vows to each other and then it's party time. 

SamiJoeB

Can I just say Thank Goodness. I saw the title of this post and I cringed.

What you have planned souds wonderful!! Ditto iluvmy about the dress thing, although, I don't see anything wrong with a cream, or even a white dress, as long as it's not a huge poufy princess dress. I love how you're including your Great-Grandparents. I Love your plans!! Maybe show your wedding tape at the reception. People will probably still give you gifts, we asked that people donate to Toys for Tots instead of getting us gifts, and I was overwhelmed at the amount of people who did both.. Seriously!! Kudo's to you for doing this VR right!!

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_vow-renewal-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:bc5ab66b-3c81-4a91-afc3-9b148c7e98ebPost:b6ce15d5-169c-40aa-97fc-16cd03faffcf">Vow Renewal Question</a>:
[QUOTE]So, due to some circumstances (not military related) we had to cancel the wedding and have a JOP some time before my husband left to boot camp, there wasn't a lot of time to get a wedding together and other personal things were happening so things got a bit complicated. It wasn't what I pictured as a wedding but he is who I wanted as a husband so I was happy.Just our parents were able to go to the wedding but people knew we were doing it. I felt bad because his grandma (she was in Mexico) wasn't able to see it. We decided to have a simple one next year on what would be our 8th anniversary(dating, not married one) Some relatives wanted us to lie about being married for the VR. Calling it a "second wedding" I didn't feel right and was stubborn that it wasn't going to happen. I got married, I have a husband why am I going to lie? With that we decided to have one that had special meaning.The JOP was kind of a rush and there was pressure so I want the VR to have special personal touches. My bouquet won't be thrown but given to my great-grandmother who had married my great-grandfather during WWII when he was in the Army. They are still alive and happy. My stepfather will help us with the vows and our fathers will give a prayer, one in English the other Spanish. I know that some things aren't proper to have, like a veil, wedding gifts or the gleaming white gown(which is ok) but what can I do to make the VR nice? I was thinking of showing the wedding tape but would that be tacky? I would like any tips anyone has. Our thing isn't a grand thing, its mostly family and I want to keep the elegance in its simplicity. I would like any suggestions such as invitations or what better alternatives there are to the white dress. I like ivory but I also like a little bit of green in the gown.
Posted by casteel12[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>You can definitely wear ivory, or even a green dress if you want.  Being a VR there really aren't many dress rules to follow.  Personally, I think it's ridiculous to wear a big princess wedding gown to a VR, but I know other posters who don't care.  J.Crew and some other companies make some gorgeous, simple white and ivory gowns that I think are perfect for a VR.  </div><div>
</div><div>As for playing the video, I personally hate videos and photo montages at receptions.  The only way I like it is if it's just playing in the background and you can watch if you want.  But I am not at all a fan of the "sit down and watch this 20 minute video of ...."  Do you have pictures of from your JOP?  You could do a small album with those pictures and put it on display somewhere if people really want to see them.</div><div>
</div><div>Other things that I personally don't think belong at VR's: father walking you down the aisle and "giving you away," cake cutting, and wedding parties.  But if you and your H want to share a special dance I have no problem with that.</div>

iluvmytxrgr

I don't mind the cake cutting.  Heck, my grandparents just cut the cake together at their 60th wedding anniversary party. I agree with skipping the walk down the aisle and giving away.  I also don't agree with doing a first dance.  It's not your first dance unless you haven't dance together at all since you were married.  I think it's ok to dance to your song, if you have one.  Just don't call it a first dance.  I would even invite everyone else to join you on the dance floor. 

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_vow-renewal-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:bc5ab66b-3c81-4a91-afc3-9b148c7e98ebPost:b7b8ebb0-329f-4e4d-ada4-d00d82573930">Re: Vow Renewal Question</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't mind the cake cutting.  Heck, my grandparents just cut the cake together at their 60th wedding anniversary party. I agree with skipping the walk down the aisle and giving away.  I also don't agree with doing a first dance.  It's not your first dance unless you haven't dance together at all since you were married.  I think it's ok to dance to your song, if you have one.  Just don't call it a first dance.  I would even invite everyone else to join you on the dance floor. 
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]

<div>I will admit that of all of those things I listed, cake cutting would bother me the least. </div>

firsttimersluck

cake cutting doesn't bother me... it happens a lot of events. I just went to my cousins 30th anniv and the cake was AWESOME (done by Mike's Amazing Cakes, for those Seattle people) so we watched the cutting.
I think as far as the vows go, do them, make them personal, because vows can be given to someone at any time, not just at an actual wedding. I don't see the big deal in walking down an aisle, but I have never been to a VR so I don't really know how they are done. If you're going to have a bouquet, maybe give it to the longest-standing relationship/marriage people instead of throwing it (I don't like that tradition much anyway so I'm a little biased :P ) and skip the garter bc we aaaaalll know he's been there already. hahaha... I think a VR can be pretty damn similar to a wedding, and no one will think it's weird as long as you aren't lying about it. (also, an idea for the officient= have a friend stand up with you guys if you're doing the "ceremony" aspect. Let him say a few words about how he loves you both and has seen you go through everything and how much you deserve this celebration with family. I think it would really sweet, without fooling people :P )

casteel12

Hi, OP here. Thank you for the suggestions. I admit I was a litlte nervous posting here but at least there would be honesty. I was thinking an ivory gown that kind of has this 1910 (think Titanic or A Moment in Time) influence, soft but still slighty clingy so the ivory and olive green sash with perhaps some fantastic hair pin would be lovely. Thats the hard part. That kind of dress is a little hard to find in the whole shuffle of flouncy and mermaid dresses. We will probably do the cake cutting and my stepdad is doing the wedding. I want the VR to be soft and romantic with this old world elegance that isn't tacky so its kind of hard but this website helps a lot. Thanks everyone!

firsttimersluck

I love it. sounds beautiful! Look online and you'll probably have a lot more luck. theny ou can at least find pictures to take into stores. I have heard a lot of people with success on etsy for gowns as well. Happy planning!

shan87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_vow-renewal-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:bc5ab66b-3c81-4a91-afc3-9b148c7e98ebPost:8fa7166e-048a-424a-b6f4-a9315b8d1e1d">Re: Vow Renewal Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vow Renewal Question : I will admit that of all of those things I listed, cake cutting would bother me the least. 
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

Thread Hijack for a second...

True Story I hated the look of our cake so much I was forced to do the cake cutting and it was painful and I may print the pictures just to burn them hahaha

k done.. :)

shan87

OP - Congrats on your wedding! All the VR or AHR receptions I have been to, don't fit your feel so I'm not even going to waste your time,  but wanted to say Welcome and Congrats!

casteel12

Well, Shan any suggestions would be great. I am between doing a modern VR or a old fashioned one. We still have some time and I am just doing some research, especially on how to mix that vintage look without making it look too overdone so..traditional yet chic.