CAB

Danidawn20

Hi CAB

To answer your question from last night, I"m not adopted. The church I go to at school (well, started going to while in college)does this thing called adopt a student. Regular parishioners and just other people that live in the city can "adopt" college students. They take care of us while we are at school, providing us with home cooked meal, a place to do your laundry for free, and anything else that a Mom or dad, might do for  a kid. My "adopted Mom" just had surgery, So, I've been helping her out as much as I can.

 

ETA: edited for clarity

CAB1217

Oh I see. The reason I asked is because I work in the foster/adoption field, so anytime I learn of someone's experience with adoption, I am so interested in knowing their stories. Sorry if I was too forward by asking! After all, I was KUI But, I think that is awesome that your church has that program! And you're awesome for helping her out. I got the warm fuzzies reading this post!

SamiJoeB

Umm.. I'm sorry, but.. You're not in any way "Kind of" adopted.  You have a family that does things for you through a fellowship/outreach program which is great! Don't get me wrong, but to say you're "Adopted" kind of quite frankly rubs me the wrong way.   My sister is adopted and I've had to deal with people, even my H when we first met, saying that she's not my "real" sister. Like Hell she's not.  She's been my sister for 23 years, just like she's been my parent's daughter for almost 40 years.  My parents didn't think they could have kids, her parents didn't want her when they found out that she had some health problems.  Yep. You read that right, straight up didn't want her.  Her mom had her at the hospital, and left her there.  Sorry for the rant, but straight up, you need to not misrepresent yourself.

Also, I'm curious.. is your FI in the Reserves or something?  I've never EVER heard of anyone being granted 6 months of leave period, let alone for a FI, not a wife or a parent or anything.. Neither has H.. And I know you mentioned what your sickness was but I forgot what was it again?

CAB1217

Aww, Sami. I'm really sorry this upset you. I totally get where you are coming from with this, though. It's not easy having to explain these things to others. My dad is adopted, and struggles with it to this very day. It hurts me to see his hurt, so what you're saying makes a lot of sense to me. You're a great sister for being so protective of her! Damn right, she's your real sister. She's probably more of a sister to you than a lot of other "blood" sisters.

Danidawn20

Sammi- I'm really sorry that this upset you, that's just my church calls it. I did not in anyway mean to upset you. 

And Yes, right now my Fi is in the reseves.

And for my sickness, It is  Nuerofibermatosis-(NF) it can vary in range and what people have. I have the Tumor blindnes part, where to sum it up canercous and non canerour tumors attack my brian, spinal chord, and imune system. I also have the part where my heart and nlungs don't work.There is a small hole in my heart right now, as well as a few tumors on my optic nerve. I've been battlings the tumors since I could remember, and know at one point there was tal about giving me a lung transplant, but I was really young than and don't remember much else.

Again, I did not mean to uset you or offend you in anyway today.  And as CAB said, your sister is probably more of a sister to you than some"blood" sisters, and it is great that you are protective of her.  

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:93a00c65-689e-427a-8510-a1e33385365d">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh I see. The reason I asked is because I work in the foster/adoption field, so anytime I learn of someone's experience with adoption, I am so interested in knowing their stories. Sorry if I was too forward by asking! After all, I was KUI ;) But, I think that is awesome that your church has that program! And you're awesome for helping her out. I got the warm fuzzies reading this post!
Posted by CAB1217[/QUOTE]
 I'm happy you got warm fuzzies. I wih ther i more that I can do for her, because she helpped me pay for school last year,when things got bad with Fin. Aid. She told me all she want is a nice home cooked meal, but I feel that there should be more. I know hwne I get a real job,I will pay back. 

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:e9e9f2bc-3996-4d1e-bfad-362d0fbfa061">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]Sammi- I'm really sorry that this upset you, that's just my church calls it. I did not in anyway mean to upset you.  And Yes, right now my Fi is in the reseves. And for my sickness, It is  Nuerofibermatosis-(NF) it can vary in range and what people have. I have the Tumor blindnes part, where to sum it up canercous and non canerour tumors attack my brian, spinal chord, and imune system. I also have the part where my heart and nlungs don't work.There is a small hole in my heart right now, as well as a few tumors on my optic nerve. I've been battlings the tumors since I could remember, and know at one point there was tal about giving me a lung transplant, but I was really young than and don't remember much else. Again, I did not mean to uset you or offend you in anyway today.  And as CAB said, your sister is probably more of a sister to you than some"blood" sisters, and it is great that you are protective of her.  
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]

Wow, that's really sucky.  When were you diagnosed?  I seem to remember a similar illness was discussed on Grey's Anatomy recently - did you know that?  Is it the same one?  I don't know much about it, other than it's also a tumor growing disease.  So sad, I hope you have awesome doctors!

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:56b2e1f4-f50c-4ab6-86b2-e3c87babb5b1">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CAB : Wow, that's really sucky.  When were you diagnosed?  I seem to remember a similar illness was discussed on Grey's Anatomy recently - did you know that?  Is it the same one?  I don't know much about it, other than it's also a tumor growing disease.  So sad, I hope you have awesome doctors!
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
 <div>
</div><div> I was diagnosed at birth. My mom told me the doctors took one look at me, and asked her if there was a fmily hitpry of NF. She said yes, they drew some blood, did a test and told her I have it. </div><div>I don't know about the disease on Grey's was it this season or an earlier one?i know the mentioned tumors on the optic nerve in Grey's, but  for my tumor, surgery would be worse than keeping them.  </div>

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:7175b575-cb7a-48f9-9f32-3630944e24bb">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CAB :    I was diagnosed at birth. My mom told me the doctors took one look at me, and asked her if there was a fmily hitpry of NF. She said yes, they drew some blood, did a test and told her I have it.  I don't know about the disease on Grey's was it this season or an earlier one?i know the mentioned tumors on the optic nerve in Grey's, but  for my tumor, surgery would be worse than keeping them.  
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]

Wow, so I guess it was just a part of life?  How would they know just by looking at you as a baby? That's really sucky.

Grey's was this season and I think a little of last season.  Teddy (Cristina Yang's husband's best friend, if you used to watch) married a man with a similar disease so he could have health insurance, and then they fell in love, and it's been an on-going plot that actually has been a focal point the past few weeks.  Since you have a similar disease, it's probably best you don't watch.  I have a friend who used to be obsessed with Grey's until she was diagnosed with brain angiomas, and it was the season with Derek and Meredith doing the brain surgery trial, and she just couldn't watch after that.

Irishcurls

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:e9e9f2bc-3996-4d1e-bfad-362d0fbfa061">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE] And Yes, right now my Fi is in the reseves. 
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]
Sorry, I'm confused. I thought he had been AD Army and then given the extended leave due to your illness? Or am I thinking of another knottie on here? 

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:d026aee1-cd61-4531-88ed-b1c5497d6546">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CAB : Wow, so I guess it was just a part of life?  How would they know just by looking at you as a baby? That's really sucky. Grey's was this season and I think a little of last season.  Teddy (Cristina Yang's husband's best friend, if you used to watch) married a man with a similar disease so he could have health insurance, and then they fell in love, and it's been an on-going plot that actually has been a focal point the past few weeks.  Since you have a similar disease, it's probably best you don't watch.  I have a friend who used to be obsessed with Grey's until she was diagnosed with brain angiomas, and it was the season with Derek and Meredith doing the brain surgery trial, and she just couldn't watch after that.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I do watch Grey's, Mine is different than what Henry had.</div>

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:83c92ca1-c732-41fd-9d51-b1c6765a65b6">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CAB : I do watch Grey's, Mine is different than what Henry had.
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]

Oh, okay.  Glad to hear it!  How'd they know you had it by looking at you as a baby?  Is this something external?

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:cc558c61-e2f3-417a-a3bb-bf0edf3cd54d">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CAB : Sorry, I'm confused. I thought he had been AD Army and then given the extended leave due to your illness? Or am I thinking of another knottie on here? 
Posted by Irishcurls[/QUOTE]
 No you are thinking of me. Fi wa granted a leave for my illnness. The other day he came home and said he went from AD to reserves. I just didn't tihnk it wa important to say, hey he's no longer on leave,now he's reserves. Sorry for the confusion.

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:c6ddd4c0-8369-467f-96b6-aad7f45b4115">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CAB : Oh, okay.  Glad to hear it!  How'd they know you had it by looking at you as a baby?  Is this something external?
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
 Yes. Size can be a determiner (I'm under 5 feet) and then there is if the person has ten or more Cafe au lait spots on their skin  or if there is a really big cafe au lait spot on thier skin. (basically birthmarks, bu instead of being a regualr birthmark, they are spots where tumors grow easily)  I have 30 the last time I checked. You have to check your self every month becuase if you have more or less,than it means something is not right.  I also have one on my back. It it about the size of a baseball and right over my spine.  I wanted to get it removed before the wedding, but then I'll have a nasty scar,so I'm keeping it right now. The good thing ismy wedding dress hides it. <div>
</div><div>Other external factors that I don't have include blindness, deafness, club feet, bone deformations, and missing limbs.  I'm pretty lucky with what I have, I've met other people with my disease and they cannot walk. This might sound shelfish, but I Love to dance, so I'll take the tuors and heart problems over not bieng able to dance and walk. </div>

Irishcurls

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:5f663c36-7f60-4afa-a9f7-8492f661b74f">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CAB :  No you are thinking of me. Fi wa granted a leave for my illnness. The other day he came home and said he went from AD to reserves. I just didn't tihnk it wa important to say, hey he's no longer on leave,now he's reserves. Sorry for the confusion.
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]
How did he get out of his contract?? Didn't he just get back in? Now I'm more confused. 

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:5f663c36-7f60-4afa-a9f7-8492f661b74f">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CAB :  No you are thinking of me. Fi wa granted a leave for my illnness. The other day he came home and said he went from AD to reserves. I just didn't tihnk it wa important to say, hey he's no longer on leave,now he's reserves. Sorry for the confusion.
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You can't go from AD to reserves unless your contract is up I thought? I'm pretty sure he would have to fulfill his time, then enlist in the reserves right? 

</div>

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:0a535a70-dcc6-4856-a58c-fb98fcae6b30">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CAB : You can't go from AD to reserves unless your contract is up I thought? I'm pretty sure he would have to fulfill his time, then enlist in the reserves right? 
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]
 That is what I thought/ still believe. and He did just resign his contract back in May, so I really have no idea how he did it. I'm just trusting him with what he says. It really confues me to though. 

SamiJoeB

Umm.. really?

ETA:  You do know that we can see everything you've ever posted on here right?

Irishcurls

Wait wait wait. Something is not making any sense. You posted here earlier about how he left last June and wouldn't be back until close to your wedding. Then you posted that he got the leave to stay with you. So was that it, or he never left in June and ended his contract in May? 

Danidawn20

He did leave in June. It was May of 2010 he did the resign. 

Sammi- yes, I know you can see everything. 

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:52c0d7e3-473b-40e6-8eed-eef0ba01774b">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]He did leave in June. It was May of 2010 he did the resign.  Sammi- yes, I know you can see everything. 
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]<div>Resigned from what and how? You can't resign from your contract. That's the whole point. The government pretty much owns you. Unless you get med separated, etc. you can't just quit.</div><div>
</div><div>And where did he go in June? If he resigned in 2010, he would have had to gone through bootcamp and such again? </div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

Danidawn20

You know Girls, I think Fi and I need to have a talk about his job, whether he is AD or reserves.   I looked though my old posts, and  I post what he tells me about his job, while keeping things private and not releaseing too much information, and you girls are right, things are not matching up and not only am I confusing you wonderful ladies, but I am confusing my self. 

kara811

Well technically you can quit, if you get yourself in huge trouble and get yourself.kicked out.. unless that happened, I don't know how he just resigned. If he was kicked, he wont be let back in anyway, soo yeah...

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:fc53074a-053e-4b03-9bfb-071291c92bf2">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]Well technically you can quit, if you get yourself in huge trouble and get yourself.kicked out.. unless that happened, I don't know how he just resigned. If he was kicked, he wont be let back in anyway, soo yeah...
Posted by kara811[/QUOTE]
 I know he changed branches, and did do boot camp again. 

Irishcurls

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:b80b07c5-37b8-4d10-aeb7-8e88825bb76d">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]You know Girls, I think Fi and I need to have a talk about his job, whether he is AD or reserves.   I looked though my old posts, and  I post what he tells me about his job, while keeping things private and not releaseing too much information, and you girls are right, things are not matching up and not only am I confusing you wonderful ladies, but I am confusing my self. 
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]
Absolutely do. You'll want to make sure you know what your fiance does for a living before marrying him. It'll impact you're life too! 

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:b80b07c5-37b8-4d10-aeb7-8e88825bb76d">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]You know Girls, I think Fi and I need to have a talk about his job, whether he is AD or reserves.   I looked though my old posts, and  I post what he tells me about his job, while keeping things private and not releaseing too much information, and you girls are right, things are not matching up and not only am I confusing you wonderful ladies, but I am confusing my self. 
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]<div>Ok, so I totally looked through your old posts because I was intrigued to see how your FI can get 6 months "leave", for a signifcant other, not family. That doesn't make sense to me, at all. You also can't go from AD to reserves, just on a whim. It's a process. </div><div>
</div><div>I have never heard of someone getting 6 months leave, ever. You also mentioned his brain injury, etc, t hen he went back in, and then he was home from leave for a few days (in August of this year). Was he in boot camp then or his duty station? Where does he tell you his duty station is? How often does he just "disappear" and tell you its for the military? </div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:b80b07c5-37b8-4d10-aeb7-8e88825bb76d">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]You know Girls, I think Fi and I need to have a talk about his job, whether he is AD or reserves.   I looked though my old posts, and  I post what he tells me about his job, while keeping things private and not releaseing too much information, and you girls are right, things are not matching up and not only am I confusing you wonderful ladies, but I am confusing my self. 
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]

Good luck to you!  I must say, it's all a bit confusing, with him leaving for good until the wedding, then home, then leaving until the wedding, and I've never ever heard of someone getting 6 months leave.  Ever.  Even with a sick spouse, and unfortunately girlfriends and fiancees mean nothing to the military, so that's even more strange.

Get him to document everything for you, because it doesn't seem to add up.

P.S.  I'm glad you can walk and dance, too! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

SamiJoeB

Then you do realize that a lot of what you post.. doesn't make sense right? I mean aside from the glaring spelling and grammatical errors (there is a spell check function),  perhaps your Fi is leading a double life or something.. or you're a big time AW... 

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:231e5d7c-b720-4e90-a9ec-60858fa7fec5">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CAB :  I know he changed branches, and did do boot camp again. 
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]
Ok, did he go from NG to Army? Where was bootcamp? How long was it? 

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:a2b333f4-3d7d-439e-98c1-e944d5d5eab2">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CAB : Ok, so I totally looked through your old posts because I was intrigued to see how your FI can get 6 months "leave", for a signifcant other, not family. That doesn't make sense to me, at all. You also can't go from AD to reserves, just on a whim. It's a process.  I have never heard of someone getting 6 months leave, ever. You also mentioned his brain injury, etc, t hen he went back in, and then he was home from leave for a few days (in August of this year). Was he in boot camp then or his duty station? Where does he tell you his duty station is? How often does he just "disappear" and tell you its for the military? 
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

<div>He tells me, he can't tell me where his station is until we are married, and he disappers  kinda alot for themilitary, and half the time, he tells mehe can't say where he goes. </div><div>
</div><div>I knw that would raise red flags for most people, but my dad(step-dad really but I think of himas my dad) has a high up govement job and I grew up with him leaving and not being able to tell us. So, I'm used I have to the saying " I have leave for my job, but can't tell you anything."</div>

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c40da02b-26d6-48db-8778-f8d4a6ddd42fPost:d9306b91-6cfb-474b-9cfe-98cc95d12041">Re: CAB</a>:
[QUOTE]Then you do realize that a lot of what you post.. doesn't make sense right? I mean aside from the glaring spelling and grammatical errors (there is a spell check function),  perhaps your Fi is leading a double life or something.. or you're a big time AW... 
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]
 Sammi I'm not an AW,really. You ladies,have just pointed something out to me. You are right, it doesn't make sense. I really want to know why.