finding a JOP/officiant

rangergirl18

hi ladies.  this is my first post as im not really into the whole wedding thing to begin with...  however, i do need a bit of advice and i think you could help. 

as a couple we would prefer to have the whole catholic wedding (although i am not a fan of the idea of a big wedding in anyway).  because of a potentially looming pcs, we think we will have to scrap that idea and have a small civil ceremony (more my preference anyway).  we tried talking to a chaplain and they were completely unhelpful about the whole thing.

my question is for those of you who went the civil ceremony route, how did you go about finding an officiant?  i wouldnt mind going to the cour thouse if we have to but i would like something small maybe just our parents/siblings someplace like a park etc.  ive tried googling and such and i just seem to be finding these huge pink flowery over the top "ministers" and such.

do you have any advice on good ways to find someone who would be willing to officiate a small wedding in a park or similar setting?  as background info, i live several states away and the wedding would likely not be near a military base of any kind. 

firsttimersluck

Parks are a great place to get married because they are so cheap for rentals!
You can easily find a caterer or restaurant to cater for just a small group, and most rental facilities at parts include tables and chairs so it wouldn't be much to rent a few linens and whatnot.

If you are having zero luck finding an officiant, you could always have someone you're close with just.. do the online thing to become ordained for just that one DAY.. that's a possibility..?

calindi

If it's important to you both to have a religious ceremony eventually, then talk to your Priest to figure out how you can do it so you can get a covalidation in the future (I think that's what it's called?  When they bless your marriage by the Church).  You'll probably still have to go through pre-marital counseling with the Church at some point, and they might ask that you still refrain from pre-marital sex since you won't be married in the eyes of the Church.  That's between you both and your Priest.

To plan a civil ceremony, go to the local board for wherever you plan to get married.  You can find it on the left side toolbar under "Local Wedding Boards".  They'll give you great ideas on who to call for a good JOP to conduct your ceremony.  Just look into the local marriage laws, you may have to show up several days in advance of the wedding to file for the marriage license.  Your local board will be a good resource for that!

Good luck and congrats!

LetsHikeToday

Hi there!

I used a JOP for my ceremony. She was a family friend but I know you can call the court house of your county and they can give you information of justices that will marry people.

I know it is TOTALLY not the same as a catholic ceremony; however, our JOP did have some aspects of religion in it. You can work with the JOP to tweak things too!

Hope I helped!

shan87

We have had a couple JOP weddings in our family. Everytime they went online to the County Courthouse and was able to find a list of judges that are approved to do weddings.

kara811

Like Calindi suggested, post on your local board to ask for recs about officiants. They should know plenty of them there. Here's the link for the Cincinnati board: 

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-cincinnati

We had kind of the same dilemma as you when it came to our ceremony. We thought about having a Catholic ceremony, but we just couldn't do it since H isn't even baptized and he's stationed in Japan. With that said, we found a reverend for an officiant and he did a mix of civil and religious for our ceremony. We had an outdoor wedding, it turned out beautifully, many people cried even! There are many officiants out there that cater to whatever you want in your ceremony! Good Luck! 

divinemsbee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_finding-jopofficiant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:cc849ed5-afe4-49f9-b0a9-df16c0f91602Post:48d99b98-70cb-4d0a-8cfe-935080da691e">Re: finding a JOP/officiant</a>:
[QUOTE]If it's important to you both to have a religious ceremony eventually, then <strong>talk to your Priest to figure out how you can do it so you can get a covalidation in the future (I think that's what it's called?  When they bless your marriage by the Church).  You'll probably still have to go through pre-marital counseling with the Church at some point, and they might ask that you still refrain from pre-marital sex since you won't be married in the eyes of the Church.</strong>  That's between you both and your Priest. To plan a civil ceremony, go to the local board for wherever you plan to get married.  You can find it on the left side toolbar under "Local Wedding Boards".  They'll give you great ideas on who to call for a good JOP to conduct your ceremony.  Just look into the local marriage laws, you may have to show up several days in advance of the wedding to file for the marriage license.  Your local board will be a good resource for that! Good luck and congrats!
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

It's a convalidation. They're not too difficult to get these days, but you probably will have to go through some sort of Pre-Cana counseling through the Church. You also have to show that you entered into your non-Church wedding wihtout "malice or deception." Convocations generally involve a priest, the couple, and two baptised Catholic witnesses in a church (incidentally, this is all you really need to have perform the Sacrament of Marriage, so it can be quite tiny). Can you tell I did a bit of homework on this? <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

divinemsbee

Also, if you're going to go the ordain-a-friend route, make sure it's someone really really responsible and that all of the paperwork gets taken care of. There was a post on another board (trying to find it) where a couple ended up having to go back to a courthouse and JOP after their actual wedding because their friend who was "ordained" turned out to have not completed all his tasks. Talk about a total headache.

rangergirl18

thank you for all the replies!  its been very helpful - especially the convalidation info   i appreciate it!