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I have NO idea what I'm doing...

Hi there, this is my first post and actually my first time on this "Knot" website.  I'm looking for a bit of advice as I have NO CLUE where to begin with my situation.  So here goes:

My boy and I are both stationed in Germany, both active duty Air Force.  We met in 2011, dated for a while, decided to move in together last fall, and a month after we moved into our place BOOM they shipped my butt to the desert.  Well, we've been throwing around the "M" word for a little while now (since before I left), and when I get home I know he's gonna be waiting with a ring.

So now comes the hard part.  We live in Germany, his family is from Idaho, my family is from New York.  I don't even know where to begin picking a wedding loaction, we're thinking the states so it would be easier for our families to attend.  But then beyond that, how does one go about planning a wedding on a different continent?  We're not exactly raking in the money, so our budget is pretty small.  Also, I feel like a jerk for wanting to get married in the states because most of my close friends are in Germany.

Also, add in the fact that I've never even thought about planning a wedding and don't have a clue where to begin.  The task is daunting at best.

Has anyone dealt with this or something kinda like this?  Tell me your stories!  I need ideas and advice!

Re: I have NO idea what I'm doing...

  • I have never dealt with planning from another country but maybe I can help you out with your feelings on your location. I would say think about who it is most important for you to have at your wedding. If it is your family then accommodate them, have your wedding in the US, and don't feel bad about it. Unfortunately that's all you can do with that situation. As far as planning, do you visit your parents or his parents at all that you could at least do your research and have some venues in mind that you could set up dates then once wedding time gets closer. That's really my only idea there. Maybe someone else will have a better one.
  • I'm planning a wedding from 2000 miles away, but not continents away. My suggestion would be to have a destination wedding. You can find some nice places in a budget. Talk to your soon-to-be-fiance and ask him if there are any vacation spots he has particularly liked, like a beach location or something. I have found out the hard way, if you favor one side of the family over another it will only lead to conflict. If both families have to travel, then they are in the same boat. The bottom line is, do what YOU GUYS want to do and it shouldn't matter what family thinks. I'm in the AF too and my fiance is not it. It took me a while to tell families to back off, but it's working out. OR better yet, you could have it in Germany with only close family and friends. Talk to a chaplain on base and see if you can hold your ceremony at the on-base church and reception at your enlisted club. It would really cut back on costs! I hope everything works out.

  • Hi @Aaralyn, in your case it could be a bit tough to make plans on where to spend your Wedding day, but its all gonna work out good, as long as your fiance gets along with your plans, consider first your family espaciall your parents, they need to be there on your wedding day. For me I'd say pick a place that is somewhere near in between near Germany and U.S. Beach Wedding is pretty romantic. Best of wishes to your wedding ! Smile
  • If you decide to have a wedding in the states and you still feel like you are leaving you friends out, you can always have a second reception when you get back to Germany With all your Friends. 
  • Thanks everyone for your advice!  It looks like we're leaning toward NY and helping fly his family out there since we figured out my side is waaaaaay bigger than his.  I'm so close to my family I couldn't think of doing a destination wedding when I know a lot of them couldn't attend.  And I love the idea of a second reception when I get back to Germany!
  • Why not have one wedding - Just you, the grooms, and your parents. Then you plan two receptions. One at each location. They can be months or weeks later. That way everyone can share in your joy.
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