Did you write/are you writing your own vows?

Lambbop

Did you write/are you writing your own vows?

We decided to write ours and I keep getting stuck!

I want to use the traditional vows for a basis, but I'm also trying to add vows that are going to be more applicable to our life together. I'm including that I will try not to suck so bad at doing laundry and I will sometimes make him oatmeal raisin cookies even though I don't like them.

I'm debating about adding anything military related--For example, maybe something along the lines of taking care of our home/future children stateside if/when he deploys again, or trying to have patience with the slow speed/constant changes of the military.

Any suggestions? (For reference--my FI is pro including the military in the vows since it will be a huge part of our life together.)

kara811

We didn't. We did it the old fashioned way. H probably wouldn't have married me if he had to write his vows. Haha. He didn't want to do them so I was okay with that, didn't really matter to me.

kara811

Although for our anniversary my promise was "to keep riding this boat with you as long as you're beside me" in.reference to him being in the Navy. He loved it.

CAB1217

NO WAY. I was so against that. IDK, H and I are just not the "express our love with words" kinds of people. Our vows would have been: "I love you, do you love me?" "Yeah, I love ya, are we done here?"


I swear, we are madly in love. LOL!

Anyway, our pastor had some lovely (AND FREAKIN LONG) vows for us. They were perfect.

kyrgyzstan

We did. H's were short and sweet, mine were crazy long.

AmandaSC1988

No.. Personally, I wouldn't want to write my own vows, saying the same vows that my parents and grandparents said really meant the world to me. Plus you kinda can't do thati n the Catholic church.


But to each their own.

Zimsgirl

We can't write ours. We're getting married in the Catholic church as well. We didn't want to either. We like the traditional vows

crownsuperstar

No we did not write our vows.  I get easily distracted and we got married outside so I would most likely forgetten what to say.  In fact, I did forget at one point what I was supposed to repeat.  I said "wait...what?" It had to be repeated twice.  HAA Again did I mention that I get distracted?  So for us (well me) writing our vows would have been a train wreck.

Lambbop

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_did-you-writeare-you-writing-your-own-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:db6d03ae-c91f-44d0-a9e1-806b51400b01Post:a4f8d1ae-8f18-475a-b4e2-613a0d9ab267">Re: Did you write/are you writing your own vows?</a>:
[QUOTE]We did. H's were short and sweet, mine were crazy long.
Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]

This is my fear! That FI'll just be like: "Yep. I like you, let's be wed!" and I'll be reading off a short story.

lrh17

We did not write our own.  I think the traditinal vows are beautiful, and I don't think I could have written anything better.  Neither H nor I have ever been the type of person who expresses feelings through something written so it just wasn't for us.  Plus I was already terrified being up there in front of all those people and I'd rather just repeat words!  But do whatever you two feel comfortable with...it could be very sweet!

And Kara...omg that is so cheesy and adorable!

FutureMrsSS

I am! My FI is actually the one who brought it up and wanted to, and I wasn't opposed to it so I've been working on it slowly. He's more of the "cute" person in the relationship always saying cute things haha so we'll see how it goes!

I've basically just looked at the traditional vows and added more personalized things to it. For example the stay faithful area I have "I promise to remain faithful and honest no matter how many miles are between us." It kind of ties in with the military and being seperated. 

Check out the vows message board. Reading other peoples vows has helped me. Also, something else I read somewhere said to aim more for ideas, then specific situations. So maybe something like "I vow to always take care of/support you (sorry totally blanking on what the right word is here) whether it is taking care of things at home while you are deployed to making your favorite oatmeal cookies when you return, no matter how much I don't like them" or something. 

turnupyourlove

Wow lots of people went traditional! I eased into the subject of maybe writing our own vows early on and he was really against it but after a bit he decided he'd give it a shot and neither of us have completed what we're going to say but we were just discussing it and he said he can't believe he didn't want to at first. He's a singer/songwriter so I was surprised that he was so against it early on! But I've started thinking of some cute stuff and he said he has too.

If you need inspiration there are lots of places to look! Honestly I'd say first and foremost try to think back on important parts in your relationship. If you ever fought and then got over it in a special way you could say something like you promise to remember that if any fight seems unending you'll... go on a picnic or bake him a cake or whatever you did to get over it that time. I feel like those sort of real life, "we've been through this" memories are what make it YOU! I also just finished reading the real story behind "The Vow" (movie) and I think every couple should read it! What a great demonstration of how painful, frustrating, and impossible marriage and life can seem, but they are so encouraging to their readers and really push the fact that it's worth it to keep going. Anyway their vows were beautiful and heartfelt and I read them to my fiance for some inspiration and he was really glad I did. Check those out too!

Off topic - AmandaSC1988 - Is that your wedding in your signature? BEAUTIFUL!