NWR: Too Harsh?

mob2689

So as I stated in a previous post, I think I will end up having  DD pitbull dog that I don;t want. It;s not like I haven't tried to help them get answers for this pet before they PSC over seas, but they became deaf to everyone's advise.

So tonight Dd asks if it would be ok if I keep this dog while they go and when the time comes I would ship the dog to them.  Umm, heck no!! my mind is screaming! They will be here Monday(yes, this Monday)

I am not allowed pets here, but we did have a dog for 6 years(hid it from the landlord since he is absent for the most part)  we had to put her down 3 months ago and DD knew about this dog. She was a golden Retriever/black lab mix. Tara is the pitbull.

They plan on taking 2 dogs(the pit, the dotson, and the cat) I have told them about the 2 pet minimum as well.


So this is what I want to send them, sound ok? any changes or other alternatives you suggest?:

DD,

I am saying this NOT to get you upset. BUT I am standing my ground.
 
I will not house Tara here and risk everything! The roof over my head, the demeanor of the ppl upstairs with Tara here(she will sense that!), nor babies. I don't care how gentle she is. These breeds have been known to turn in a heart beat! and I will not risk children, nor my roof. The neighbors you KNOW will go biserk over Tara and will let the landlord know as well because they have small children. Cotee was a different bread.

For the past 6 weeks I have been trying to give you all the tools you guys needed to get this figured out, and you are now at the last minute with no answers.

These are the options before coming here.

1)After J leaves for training and gets to the PCS station, You and the pets are more than welcome to stay here while J  finds a place at the new base over seas for all of you. You know the dogs and we don't and if anything was to happen you could take care of it and handle it. With that being said, while anyone is here besides us, Tara is to be in her kennel. You take her outside she is to be on a leash at all times. There are always people walking thier dogs in this neighborhood. What the dog chains are attached to here won't hold her if she ever was to get sketchy. If you leave to go anywhere she goes with you or in the kennel.

2.) You stay there at his Aunts house(if she allows) after visiting us while J is finding a place and getting the pet situation settled. ( I can drive you and the dogs/cat back to that state)

3.) you all come here, and when it's time for you to leave, you take all pets at that time.

Let me know which one you guys choose so I know in advance.

I want to make this very clear, and will send this to J as well.

Love
Mom

Sammy0709

I would expect my mother to say the same thing. I dont think it's harsh at all. ETA: Her apt does not allow pets either. Our dog is huge so I probably wouldn't ask anyway but if I did she would likely say f*ck no. It took me a while to add my edit cause I've been drinking since a girl I don't like is here and I have to be nice. This is the easiest way to be nice lol.

mob2689

If DD Didn't know about the other dog(we had her when DD was in middle school) I know I could pull the no pets allowed.

Oh how I hate being around people I don;t like and add drinking to the mix of it all?! It is safer for me to just leave because I wouldn't ever have enough bail or lawyer fees saved up

Sammy0709

Lol I judge this girl because she hit on DH while I was out of town and her H was deployed. Well, she tried to. It didn't work out for her. I hope your DD understands. It true that most pits are so sweet but it's the stereotype that bothers people.

mob2689

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_harsh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:e227930f-28aa-473a-b39d-0b266635686bPost:747ea6ec-b370-45a7-95ab-e7bf413a7eb4">Re: NWR: Too Harsh?</a>:
[QUOTE]Lol I judge this girl because she hit on DH while I was out of town and her H was deployed. Well, she tried to. It didn't work out for her. I hope your DD understands. It true that most pits are so sweet but it's the stereotype that bothers people.
Posted by Sammy0709[/QUOTE]
 Oh man I know I couldn't drink around her, I hated women like that! Snakes I call them, snakes!

She truly is a sweet dog, but like you said others have the stereotype imbedded, plus I am not affectionate to animals. I was raised on a farm, I like their "purpose". If I lived on a farm heck yeah I would keep her but reality is I don't.
 
The only reason why we had that other dog was because Mr Wonderful's ex put her in the pound, she was older then and probably never would have been adopted. I really didn't expect her to live as long as she did she was 17!

ETA: I sent it, so they have at least a couple of days to digest all of it and figure out what they are doing. Even if it means they won;t be coming here at least the pets are taken care of.. I would rather have them have this all situated. I can visit them in the spring possibly

calindi

I don't think it's too harsh, but I also don't think it is as clear as could be. It's a big confusing, though it might make more sense to her as she's more familiar with the situation. This is how I'd approach it: Dear DD, I am really sorry you guys are struggling to find a way to get Tara overseas with you. Unfortunately, I just can't keep her here. While you know Cotee was here against the rules, I feel this is different as people are more likely to be scared of a pitbull and report me to the landlord. I do not want to be kicked out of my home. Also, I have concerns about a pitbull around little children, like our neighbor's kids and my granddaughter. I know she is quite docile, but that breed has been known to be unpredictable around kids and I just will not take that risk. I know you guys are trying to find a solution, so I'm happy to compromise for awhile and let you stay here with the dog until your husband can find a place off base where you could bring the dog, or until you find someone else to take care of the dog. However, while you are here with the dog, I would ask that it is kept indoors except when on a leash. I do not want it on a leash that is attached to the ground or a fixed point as I would be afraid she would escape. Please understand that I do want to help and I do feel for your situation, but I cannot risk my home and I do not feel comfortable watching the dog on my own. (Oh, and Sammy, one of FI's classmates is like that and she is NOT allowed in our home anymore - what a shitty situation! I'd want to tell that girl exactly what I thought of her! Hope the hangover isn't too bad today!)

mob2689

Thanks Cali!!  writing is not my strong point as most can see Numbers? I'm there! DD is very devastated this morning. I have always been able to find solutions, pick up pieces and help when needed. This situation I just can't!  LOVED how you wrote it.

I talked to my SIL this morning because she didn't want to talk. Which is ok, I can totally understand I am the same way when I am upset. SIL said he was very glad that I sent what I sent, he too can not get her to realize or admit/face that it is probably a no go for this dog and that time is running short.
 
I just fear this will just crush her. DD trained this dog from a puppy. She is house trained, kennel trained and is very well loved. She has been through hell and back for this dog. The people who gave her Tara has threatened to take the dog back. Not because of them moving just out of spite because they realized she is a pure bred from show dog linage,  and fond out how much she was worth before/after DD got her spayed. (She had her recently spayed because she read she had to in order to have a chance of getting her in the country.) They have been giving her greif since the wedding with threatening calls. DD also has the papers I beleive that the dog is listed as a therapy dog. Then along comes mom with this.
 
No denying that she absolutely LOVES this dog and it breaks my heart that she has to go through this.