Anyone marrying a submariner?

SJnTimmy

Just out of curosity. 

I am marrying a submariner in December.  He is currently stationed in Pearl Harbor.  I live in Alabama.  We've already made it through our first 6 month deployment and we'll have another one shortly after we're married.

I heard submariners' wives are a bit different than other military wives.  Anyone have an opinion on it?  All I have ever dealt with is submariners with my fiance and brother. 

Ya know I am very proud of all the men and women who serve our country & as equally proud (if not prouder) of the men and women who stand behind them. 

firsttimersluck

I dated a sub guy for a while, but am marrying into the aviation side of the Navy. subs are tough. I have heard the same, but honestly I think it always depends on the base.
Navy Aviation is also considered "different" because the Es and Os tend to hang out which is "bad" in the military. The wives for subs that I knew were pretty mellow ladies. That's really such a hard thing to generalize, though.

Also, I will warn you that I am somewhat active in my wives club, and have learned to be VERY careful about the kind of information I share. Sub guys and aviation guys are really close (really, any particular squadron/unit/etc that has a smaller # of people will be really close) so stuff spreads like wild fire.
Ex: One time I made a JOKE to a fellow wife about oh yeah haha I'm going to be a strap-on to show him that I wear the pants, or SOMETHING like that (fitted in context) and the moment he got back, everyone heard about how I bought a strap-on and we were huge swingers and blahblahblah. Ridiculous. People are stupid.

You will meet wonderful people, and also people that you can't stand, just like school and work and LIFE. Don't go in there with a negative attitude thought! Go in with an open mind and get to know people. It definitely helps to have support from people that are going through the same stuff.

And WELCOME TO THE BOARD! When's the date?

SJnTimmy

Thanks!  The date is December 17.    I'm super excited.  When is yours?

I am terrified of OPSEC.  Many times the boat schedule changes when I'm with him and I'm always scared to tell people that I have to come home early, get my flight changed sooner, or whatever the case is.  I don't want to be meet the guys from NCIS in real life. . hahaha.

My FI always tells me that the thing on the boat is they love each other's wives, but hate when the wives meet.  But I mean there is drama everywhere just got to sort through the bad to get to the good. Plus, I'll need friends. I'm moving 4000 miles away from my family and friends and he'll be gone alot the first year we're married.  That and I know absolutely nothing about what to do for housing, shopping, and everyday life in the military. I know FI will help as much as he can but he deploys alot.

I never realized that aviation was like that with E and O.  I'm sure you know that everyone on a boat is on first name basis and no one salutes.  I guess boats and aviation are under enough stress as it is. 

It's going to be a fun adventure with my best friend. I'm excited.

firsttimersluck

Hahaha... OPSEC and PERSEC kinda come with time.. and we all slip up on little stuff here and there.. My FI actually completely froze his FB account while on deployment for that reason. I'm sure I have slipped up a little by posting a pic of my Fi in my profile while he is in uniform. As long as you are aware of the big stuff, and do your best on the little stuff, you are ahead of the game compared to many, many wives/spouses. :P

Figure out what base you'll be on and google their base website. There it will give you plenty of info about housing, the commissary, NEX, events, all that jazz. Also, see if FI can get the e-mail address of one of the wive's club members so you can contact her to let her know you are headed their way and kinda nervous about it all. They will be SUPER welcoming. 

Yeah, well... They are stuck with each other in cramped planes/boats for so long... it gets old I think (and saluting is only for the outdoors, so they wouldn't really salute in a sub anyway? )
December 17th is exciting! Have you started picking vendors and whatnot? Something to consider is making sure he has his chit in and approved (his leave slip for that wedding date!) and also, just in case, to let your vendors know that you are a military couple and sometimes things happen.. Many vendors will work with military couples if something were to happen where you have to change the date.

We're getting married September 25th. It's coming up so fast! Today I had to drag him to Michaels for craft stuff... he went directly to the Star Wars posters... lol!

There is a big chance that we end up in Hawaii next, although we're hoping for NOT there. Where are you in AL? I have family in Huntsville/Madison county, and FI is from Chattanooga, Tn

SJnTimmy

I have the email address to the Ombudsman.  She is super sweet.  I met her at the deployment lucheon. I just hate to bother her. She has like 4 kids and I'm sure she is super busy.  Plus, I still have time to research on my own and figure out the small stuff.

That's a good question about the saluting. I've never thought of it like that.  I've been on his boat (its a fast attack). I think it is too small to lift your hand up to salute.  Yuck at the small spaces. 

You seem to have this military thing done. I'm jealous!

I have a lot done already. I'm actually taking a break from planning. I have the venue, photographer, florist, dress, and ideas for all the decorations.  We're doing Christmas ornaments for the centerpieces. Ha.  It's going to be great.  I'm a little burnt out on planning so my FI has taken over. He really is the best guy ever.

I know what you mean on the mentioning military. All the florists were booked in my area (I was told I had a premium wedding date) and I got one to agree just because it is military.  It was a huge stress reliver.

September is the perfect wedding time. It is not too hot and not too cold.  You can do anything!  I, on the other hand, have to stick with the whole Winter/Christmas thing.  You should totally have some Star Wars posters. Ha. I would laugh. 

Hawaii really is overrated. It is too crowded.  The marine base has a really nice not crowded beach though, if you do get stationed there.  Navy housing is new for the most part.  I'm excited about leaving in the housing. 

I am from the Dothan area which is southeast Alabama.  Huntsville is almost like a different world from here.  My FI is from the Seattle area. I'm meeting his family, without him, for the first time next month.  Hopefully Seattle will be nice too.

firsttimersluck

yay for Seattle It's nice up here!! :P
Next month should be pretty nice up here (that means 70s just so you know... lol don't expect the crazy heat you get down there!)

I'm glad to hear that you are on top of the wedding planning! FI is SUPER involved, too. Love it. I love hearing other brides are in the same situation... I couldn't imagine planning a wedding for US by myself.

The military stuff comes with time... don't stress it. I'm a military brat (army) and was raised (for the most part) in Germany, so I know a lot about the military overall, although the Navy is a completely different world from the Army. haha!

Don't feel badly about bugging the Ombudsmon, that's what she is there for. It's a "volunteer" type job for the most part, so if she didn't want to do it, she wouldn't do it. She can also give you e-mail addresses of the Pres/VP of the wives club there, if you wanna harass someone else

Are you doing big vases filled with ornaments? because that would be freakin' adorable! I love September for our wedding, but there is always the pressure to use the fall color scheme, and I don't care much for that style.. We're doing royal blue and yellow (go navy! :P ) since FI will be in his dress whites.

SJnTimmy

He is wearing his dress whites?  I love it.  My FI refuses.  I have no clue why. He plans on doing 20 years, but it is his decision and a tux will look good too.  I could not imagine planning a wedding by myself.  I am glad you have the same support I do. It is very nice.

Is Germany beautiful?  My dad was stationed there for a few years and talks about how incredibly beautiful and clean it is there. Plus, Oktoberfest would be pretty amazing to go to. My FMIL was telling me what kind of weather to expect in July.  She said 70 was boiling. I started laughing.  It has been over 100 degrees all month.  I'm ready for Seattle.  To see rain again would make my life complete. Haha.

We are doing the Christmas ornaments in 8 inch hurricanes with a bow tied at the top. I've seen pictures. It should end up being pretty.

I didn't realize there would be so much pressure for fall in September. In Alabama, we don't have seasons so fall is definitely overlooked. I'm glad you went with what you wanted to.  (Hooyah Navy)  I think the navy blue and yellow will look great next to either. It will be good contrasting colors.

It was lovely talking to you.  It was time for me to go get ready for long distance date night.  Hope to talk to you soon.

jessuhmarie

I am! I don't find the wives/SOs to be much different than other women. Stuff DOES spread like wildfire on the boat though because all the guys are so close and there aren't as many people it has to go through before EVERYONE knows haha. What's awful is you can confide something in your FH and when he tells one friend who tells alllll the other guys you look like the person starting the drama, even if you didn't mean to "gossip." I went to a girls night with some of the wives I wasn't familiar with and I didn't realize that they had drama within their little group already and when something spread around the boat I was blamed for it since "it was my first time hanging out with them so it must have been me that said something" even though I was clueless as to what was going on.

Anyways, enough about that haha. The guys on FH's boat are VERY close. They have to be since they work loads and in such confined spaces. Since you've already been through a deployment then you know that communication is much more limited during underway than it may be on, say, a carrier.

My FH leaves soon to live on the boat until they start sea trials and a short underway stint. So I'm dreading the lack in communication. At least it's just trials so I should get emails at least once a week

jessuhmarie

Also I'm planning a December wedding as well, but December 2012. You should post some of your pictures of your ideas and stuff. I'm not into getting decorations and whatnot together yet but I'm collecting ideas and everything. Do you have your dress yet?

kara811

Hi and welcome to the boats!

H is on a carrier so I don't know how to relate as much. But his the people in his department are all very close since there aren't so many of them, they tend to stick together as well. 

Also, just wanted to say, your wedding is on my mom's birthday! How funny. lol

firsttimersluck

I LOVE the dress whites on FI and since we're up in the frigid Pacific NW, he never gets to wear them since they are freakin' ALWAYS out of the season >_< For weddings they can do what they want though. yay A tux is just a great. Honestly, when will he EVER wear a tux again? I don't blame him for wanting to wear something non-military.

Germany is incredible. Freakin' incredible. I lived there for 7 years and had to move my senior year of high school because our post closed down. I wish FI could get stationed in Europe, but it would kinda be a career killer so it's a negative. The U.S. will never feel like a a TRUE Christmas after spending Christmas there for so many years with roasted chesnuts (we don'thave those here in WA) and gluvein (hot red wine) and all the Christmas markets. *sigh*... Now I'm bummed out.. lol

yeah I can't imagine Alabama gets ALL the seasons.. haha. Especially as south as you are. When I was in Chattanooga/Huntsville last Christmas we had snow! But I know that's a rare occurance. WA gets all four seasons full blown, so every fall wedding I have been to has those fall colors to match the changing leaves outside... It's beautiful... just not me. :P I LOVE the Christmas theme though... I think a lot of people tend to go a litle cheesy on it, but it can be done SO elegantly. What are the colors you guys are doing? reds/greens or silver/blues or...?

And I secodn pp,... let's see a pic of the dress

SamiJoeB

SJ!!! I'm an SJ from Alabama too!!!! I'm from Gadsden.

Annnnddd You're getting married the day before my 1 year anniversary. We got married in WA because H is from WA/OR (he was born in OR, but his dad was stationed in WA at the time) We didn't really use Christmas as our theme, our colors were black and red, and there was a Christmas tree in the room so we put branch flags in there, and we used Christmas tree type greenery in the centerpieces. Other than that our only Christmasy things were holly and Toys for Tots.








I was Navy, but Aviation. I've been to the sub base in WA and it's pretty cool. I've heard that Sub wives are "different" but the same can be said for most any group of wives. Army wives don't like Marine wives, and CG wives don't like any other wives. Personally I think all that is just ridiculous. Like FTL said, you'll meet amazing women, and you'll meet women that you want to strangle. Stick with the ones you like and steer clear of the crazies.

firsttimersluck

ooooh man.. I have some amazing "I WANT TO STRANGLE YOU" stories with two particular wives in our squadron... lol. We need a thread for just those stories! :P hahaha
WHAT SAMI?! Did I know that you were married in Wa?! Where the heck did you get married at?! And come back and live this way so I have someone to help me with DIY projects :P hehehehe
What Aviation were you in the Navy?

SarahP787

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_anyone-marrying-submariner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:e502173c-f6db-40b9-980c-3b45e05cb675Post:8f308f16-f3b5-4e4d-861d-36bec180dd55">Re: Anyone marrying a submariner?</a>:
[QUOTE] Army wives don't like Marine wives, and CG wives don't like any other wives. Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

Dang, I had no idea! I guess I'd better get on the bandwagon... screw you, Marine wives! ;-) Or maybe I should only dislike Marine wives-to-be...

Anyway... I think it would be nice to be part of a close knit group, like the submariners! Even with all the drama. Fi gets along with his co-workers, but they're not really close... and he doesn't hang out socially with the enlisted guys, which means we're on the young end of the officers, so most of the wives I've met haven't really been in my peer group.

SamiJoeB

SarahP-I might have made that fun fact up based on Katelyn.. she had a serious issue with Marine Wives and Marines for whatever reason. Idk.. I was trying to generalize.

FTL-I think you knew we got married in WA. Union, WA, Alderbrook resort? it's beautiful!! I love it!! I just drove across the country from WA.. and that is not a drive I want to make anytime soon. Plus, MIL and I are not getting along right now. I was an AZ (ask FI, I'm sure he'll know) , and you are totally right about E & O "hangin" in the Aviation world. We had lost of like 1st classes, hanging out with Airmen, or 3rd classes, and they were always going to DRB and stuff for it. I was a good little Sailor. I just went to work, and came home and skyped with H.

I can't wait to actually live near a base with H so that I can "play" with the other wives!! (whenever H is hanging out with his friends and other Marines, I always say "are you going to play with _____", he kind of hates it).

firsttimersluck

I haven't met any e-wives in our squadron.. really the only E's the hang with the Os are the single guys that like to bar hop it too, but it's still pretty frequently. I think it's nice. The fact is, on a plane, FI does one job, personb does another personC does another.. and all are needed... so it's nice that they get treated as equals for that reason. Now the maintainers and them, we never talk to, nothing against them, just a very seperate part from air crew guys.

I grew up army, so we hated airforce and navy, when I dated a marine, we all hated .. everyone minus the seals, and I know nothing about the CG.. they seem to stay separated. Although FI works with a lot of CG from time to time up here.
As Navy, they tend to get "sick" of the marines for the "men's department" of the navy joke.. seriously? It gets old people.. lol. I think a lot of the Navy guys are just tired of the "cockiness" found in a lot of the younger Marines.. of course I'm surrounded by a bunch of cocky Navy pilots.. so I see both sides, lol!! Navy/Marine feud will always be there, like twin sisters... always competing :P
Air force... I don't know much about.. I have a few friends in the AF and they make fun of themselves hehe

firsttimersluck

LOL Sami... You're hilarious.
Yeah Now I recall that I knew that... The moment I read the name the little light went on. My bad.. haha.. Every few months I'm probably going to do that to you. :P oooh memory />_<
I like that they are closer in the Navy.. I understand fratinization issues with certain situations.. such as when you have someone in charge... but on a plane that's just not how it really works

katelyn... hah.. that's funny. I have a little bitterness towards Marines myself, but I've tried to let it go because generalizing is dangerous and you always end up pissing someone off in the military (ex: I was REALLY good at pissing off Stan on my very first post to the military board.. she had good reason. I generalized which was bad, and then we just went back and forth pissing each other off lol.) buuuuuuuuuuuuuut I do like generalizing with those 17 year olds like our super star Kendall :P

SamiJoeB

I know H got razzed alot for being married(engaged then) to a "nasty sailor". I think the fueds are funny, but really silly.

What kind of DIY projects are you doing? If I were there I would totally help! I love to craft!!!

firsttimersluck

yesterday I bought awesome fabric and three canvas boards to cover then put those three above the headboard.. looks sooo cute. I'm doing the same thing to the guest bedroom with a yellow/grey print.
Today after I reorganize the hobby garage *gulp* I need to...

-finish the cardbox
-make the "reserved" signage
-design the wine bottle labels
-maaaaybe assemble the invites.. I have been saying that for 1.5 months now />_< lol

SarahP787

Dear Everyone in the World: please don't generalize Army wives based on katelyn! In fact, really, don't generalize any group based on katelyn! She really ought to be in her own special category...

SamiJoeB

She's the most special snowflake in the world. Sometimes I want to make a ticker for how many days we've been without her... And I just want it to be said that she posted on here over the weekend and I was nice to her. It hurt me, but I was nice to her, even after everything that happened AND HER NEVER APOLOGIZING TO ME... Okay, sorry. I'm better now. Don't worry though, I know that most Army Wives are nothing like her, Thank goodness.

shan87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_anyone-marrying-submariner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:e502173c-f6db-40b9-980c-3b45e05cb675Post:8f308f16-f3b5-4e4d-861d-36bec180dd55">Re: Anyone marrying a submariner?</a>:
[QUOTE]SJ!!! I'm an SJ from Alabama too!!!! I'm from Gadsden. Annnnddd You're getting married the day before my 1 year anniversary. We got married in WA because H is from WA/OR (he was born in OR, but his dad was stationed in WA at the time) We didn't really use Christmas as our theme, our colors were black and red, and there was a Christmas tree in the room so we put branch flags in there, and we used Christmas tree type greenery in the centerpieces. Other than that our only Christmasy things were holly and Toys for Tots. I was Navy, but Aviation. I've been to the sub base in WA and it's pretty cool. I've heard that Sub wives are "different" but the same can be said for most any group of wives. <strong>Army wives don't like Marine wives, and CG wives don't like any other wives.</strong> Personally I think all that is just ridiculous. Like FTL said, you'll meet amazing women, and you'll meet women that you want to strangle. Stick with the ones you like and steer clear of the crazies.
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

hmm what about AF Wives? Who am I suppose to hate? LoL jk. H and I play well with others, part of the reason he got assigned his specific aircraft.  :)

The only time I have ever heard H talk about Army or Navy is was in regards to sports (during academy games), when AF played them at which point he didn't like whomever AF was playing LoL

firsttimersluck

ah yes.. the footballl rivalries... >_< That gets ugly for me since I'm SURROUNDED by Naval academy guys (not Fi.. he went to Georgia tech.) and they all know I'm an army brat..

haha my mom HATED being an army wife and that was one of the first things she warned me about: DONT GET INVOLVED WITH THE WIVES CLUBS!!!!!
She doesn't play nicely with women though.. she and I are both more tom-boy ish so I think that's why.

SarahP787

firsttimersluck

omg that is the greatest thing anyone has ever posted on this board haha!

SamiJoeB

BAHAHAHAHAHA.. I just lol'd!! I got a strange look from the contractor for it, but it was worth it. That is great!!!

Sorry Shan..

kara811

Love that picture SarahP, hilarious!!!! 

Sammy0709

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_anyone-marrying-submariner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:e502173c-f6db-40b9-980c-3b45e05cb675Post:0a127f22-128e-4895-ac70-6530979035fa">Re: Anyone marrying a submariner?</a>:
[QUOTE]She's the most special snowflake in the world. Sometimes I want to make a ticker for how many days we've been without her... And I just want it to be said that she posted on here over the weekend and I was nice to her. It hurt me, but I was nice to her, even after everything that happened AND HER NEVER APOLOGIZING TO ME... Okay, sorry. I'm better now. Don't worry though, I know that most Army Wives are nothing like her, Thank goodness.
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]
I just wanted to point out...if it was the post about groom's cakes...that was an old post that a newbie posted in randomly.
Katelyn is very happy with her new screen name telling people that her FI being in the military validates her young engagement and having people blow rainbows up her a*s. 

SamiJoeB

Oh.. Darn it.. I was super proud of myself!! I've got to pay more attention...

You totally just busted my bubble Sammy... is she still posting on TK?

Sammy0709

Well if the pic is her, which I think it is cause there is a soldier with her, the post I read was on recently engaged or something.  I'm sure she's posting on all the rainbows, bunnies, and butterflies boards.

ETA:  Sorry about your bubble...didn't mean to burst it. 

SamiJoeB

haha, it's okay!

ETA: Yeah, that was her, and she kind of makes me want to throw up a little bit.